Accidental Insight

Chicken is Not Bread

2009-09-02T07:53:00.004-04:00

When I saw KFC's new chicken sandwich, I was almost without words. Almost.

This sandwich, the Double Down, is a sandwich with two kinds of cheese and bacon. But that's not the problem. The buns are pieces of deep-fried chicken!

KFC reps say the sandwich has 600 calories and 31 grams of fat, but Matt Goulding, author of the best-selling book, "Eat This, Not That: The Best and Worst Foods in America," said independent labs are reporting the sandwich has 1,200 calories and 50 grams of fat. I guess it's great for people who are doing the Atkins Diet, but there is no other reason why people should be eating a sandwich where the buns are pieces of chicken.

The sandwich is being tested in Providence, Rhode Island and Omaha, Nebraska. It sells for $6.99.

To me, KFC has become the restaurant that will sell anything. Remember when they offered that bowl that has everything in it that's on the KFC menu - chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, cheese? Gross. Well, it's no longer on their menu and hopefully, the double down won't be on KFC's menu for much longer either.

Shorts squabble

2009-08-19T22:13:00.009-04:00

First Lady Michelle Obama is always in the news for her great fashion sense. But this week, she's been in the news for wearing shorts on her family vacation.

The First Family went to the Grand Canyon earlier this week and when Mrs. Obama emerged from Air Force One, the official plane for presidential travel, she was wearing shorts. Not short shorts, but shorts. And there are people who took offense at this.

The Huffington Post has a poll on its website asking if Mrs. Obama's shorts are inappropriate. Writers on the site pointed out that Mrs. Obama has received flack before for baring her arms in public. So far, 58.21 percent of the people who have taken the poll think it's modern for the First Lady to wear shorts in public; 16.8 think it's inappropriate and 25 percent said it's no big deal, but she should wear longer shorts next time.

Folks, her shorts weren't short.

Robin Givhan, a fashion editor and staff reporter for The Washington Post, said she was “ambivalent” about the First Lady’s shorts — mainly because stepping off Air Force One makes it an “official” photo and so should, perhaps, be considered a more formal moment.

“I think in many ways it’s symbolic,” Givhan explained. “We don’t see first ladies looking informal, and I think it’s a wonderful thing that she’s bringing informality to that position. But we’re still grappling with what the first lady is supposed to be all about.”

I am not ambivalent about the First Lady wearing shorts in public. First, Mrs. Obama wasn't on official business - she was on vacation with her family. And second, it was 106 degrees in Phoenix. What was she supposed to be wearing?

I'm blogging about this because it's been in the news all week, but there are far more important things in the news that we should be concerneced about, people.

Ale and altercations

2009-07-31T11:23:00.005-04:00

Two weeks ago, Harvard University Professor Henry Louis Gates was arrested for allegedly being loud and tumultuous at his home. The charges were dropped a couple of days later.

His arrest sparked a discussion about race in America because Gates called the officer racist while he was being arrested.

The arrest has been in the news just about every day since July 16, when the incident happened, because President Barack Obama, who is friends with Gates, said publicly that the officer, Sgt. James Crowley, acted "stupidly" in arresting Gates. Obama later cleaned up his remarks saying that both Gates and Crowley overreacted. Going one step further, the president suggested that he, Gates and Crowley have a beer at the White House.

That meeting over beer took place yesterday.

While the comments made during the meeting have been kept private, Gates said the talk was "cordial and productive." He and the sergeant plan to meet again.

While I hate that Gates was arrested, I hope something positive can spawn from the incident. Americans need to be talking about race. I will not call Crowley, who leads workshops to reduce racial profiling, racist, but there are still racists in America and the world. Just because there is a black man in the White House, doesn't mean racism isn't still perpetuated every day.

And here are two examples: Earlier this week, Boston Police Officer Justin Barrett was suspended from the force for writing a racially-charged email about Gates, referring to him as a "jungle monkey." And the Manhattan Borough President's Press Secretary Lee Landor was forced to step down two days ago after posting on her Facebook page that Gates is "racist," referring to Obama as "O-dumb-a" and saying that racial profiling exists for a good reason.

And these were the just the incidents by public officials - just think of what happens with private citizens.

We need to take every opportunity to discuss race, to celebrate diversity and work to understand our differences. Use this teachable moment for something good.

Props to Hoda Kotb

2009-07-29T15:51:00.004-04:00

I'm a huge fan of the "Today Show," especially the fourth hour with Kathie Lee and Hoda. While I like them equally, this morning, I had to give it up to Hoda Kotb.

The two were in San Antonio as part of a "Today Show" goes on vacation special and there was an animal segment. If you are a "Today Show" watcher, you know Hoda is not crazy about animals. It looks as if she tolerates them for the sake of her job. Well, this morning, Hoda held a buzzard, yes a buzzard, on her cowgirl hat for a couple of minutes. The bird even jumped from Hoda's hat to Kathie Lee's and back to Hoda's. I was nervous just watching.

Hoda looked terrified, but was a real trooper. There were also armadillo, rattle snake and wolf on set.

Interacting with animals would be the one thing that would freaked me out, too, if I were in Hoda's position, and there seems to be a weekly animal segment on the "Today Show." I didn't grow up with animals, so I'm not an animal lover. I could pass a cute dog on the street and ignore it. A sweet kitten could walk between my legs and I would just step over it. Most birds frighten me and let's not even get into farm animals!

But for the sake of not looking foolish, Hoda put aside her fears this morning, as she does every time she's around an animal, and took one for nature.

Props to Hoda!

Cool nights welcome

2009-07-27T13:48:00.003-04:00

Over Memorial Day weekend, Phillip and I bought a patio set for our deck. So, lately, we've been eating outside, or just sitting on the deck and enjoying New Jersey's cool nights.

A couple of weeks ago, on an especially cool night, we talked about how great it would be if we had a fire pit. On Saturday, we bought one.

Saturday night, I grilled pizza and we sat outside eating and enjoying wine and beer being warmed by our new fire pit. We even toasted marsh mellows for dessert.

Other than my hair still smelling like smoke, it was great. The fire provided the right touch to a nice, late night dinner outside.

Are you chilly around children?

2009-07-27T13:06:00.009-04:00

When Phillip and I got married nearly five years ago, the plan was to have a child-free day. One, we didn't want babies crying throughout the ceremony, messing up our video, and two, we didn't want to pay $60 for a child to eat - or not eat.

We kindly indicated in our invitation that the celebration was "an adult-only affair," and on the inner envelop, you know the one that lists who is actually invited to the wedding, we only listed the adults in the household.

But we received RSVP cards that were intended for just Mr. and Mrs. with Mr., Mrs., and their two, three and four kids. Either people didn't read the invitation or just ignored our request.

So, I had to make a couple of uncomfortable telephone calls to explain that Phillip and I didn't want children at our wedding, no matter how cute. Most understood, but a couple tried to stand their ground, explaining that their child is a baby, so he won't be running around and there's no need to include him in the count for the reception. But babies cry, something I never want to deal with, especially on my wedding day.

In yesterday's New York Times' Social Qs, someone asked if they were wrong in hosting an adult-only affair in their home. The couple thought they had every right to exclude kids, but some of the guests made them feel less than PC for not wanting kids there.

"Well, blood is thicker than water - which may explain the parental insistence - but it's harder to get out of the living rug. You did nothing wrong, dear hostess," is what Philip Galanes replied.

I completely agree. It's your event, so you drive the guest list. If parents can't find or won't get a babysitter, stay at home.

PETA needs to calm down

2009-06-18T21:08:00.004-04:00

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals need to sit down somewhere.

President Barack Obama killed an ordinary housefly during an interview that aired yesterday and PETA, the folks who fight for animal rights, called the swatting an "execution" and asked the President to be more compassionate.

What?!

"We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Freidrich explained.

The group sent Obama a device that traps flies so they can then be released outside.

I am all for the ethical treatment of animals. I certainly don't want people abusing cats, dogs, elephants, tigers, etc. You get the picture. But flies? That's another story.

Flies are annoying. They aim for your food at picnics. Tickle your skin when they land on you. Buzz in your ears. Oh, how they are annoying.

I wouldn't go as far as saying flies deserved to be killed, but when they are inside - not outside where they belong - and getting on my nerves - then, I'm swatting, and if I get it, so be it.

PETA there are more important things in life than expecting people to be more compassionate toward flies.

Is Match.com mismatched?

2009-06-10T11:50:00.008-04:00

A group of online daters have filed a lawsuit against Match.com, an Internet dating site where my husband and I met.

The federal lawsuit alleges that Match.com goaded members into renewing their subscriptions by having employees send phony romantic emails to members and in some cases, employees posed as Match.com members and even went on dates with subscribers.

Match.com spokesperson Kristen Kelly told USAToday.com that the company "absolutely does not" hire people to go on dates with members or send members misleading romantic emails. The company has about 15 million members worldwide and 250 employees.

But plaintiff Matthew Evans said in the suit that he went out with a woman he met through the site who turned out to be nothing more than "date bait" working for the company. The relationship went nowhere, according to his suit. Evans says Match set up the date for him because it wanted to keep him from pulling the plug on his subscription and was hoping he'd tell other potential members about the pretty woman he met through the service, according to the suit.

If Match is guilty of what the daters have accused them of, then shame on them. It's hard enough to date these days, but to be tricked into going on a date or deceived by fake emails is horrible. For some people, online dating is a big step. People are worried about the connotation it sends - that they are desperate. I have a friend who met her husband on Match.com, but didn't tell anyone how they met until after they were married because she was worried about what people would think of her.

I truly hope the accusations are false, because I'm a big cheerleader of the site, since it worked for me. But if the Internet dating site is guilty, I'm putting down my pom-poms.

In some states, you must pay to park

2009-06-05T13:46:00.004-04:00

I was shocked by two things earlier this week. One, that my mother has a handicapped placard and two, that she had to pay $30 for it.

After thinking for a minute about my mother's health conditions - the heel spurs that make her heels raw and her back problems that make her sometimes walk at a snail's pace - the shock of her having a handicapped tag wore off.

But I'm still stunned that she had to pay for the placard.

My mother, who lives in Tennessee, paid $30 for hers. She said she didn't want to pay the money, but when she's in pain, but still has errands to run, she's happy she shelled out the cash for the privilege to park as close to the door as possible.

In New Jersey, where I live, the placard is free.

Charging for the placard is like punishing the handicapped on top of their disability. I'm sure state officials can site production costs, but how much does it actually cost to print that thin blue tag?

Maybe in the states that charge for the placards and license plates officials are trying to cut back on people taking advantage of the parking privilege. But a doctor must sign off on the application.

What do you think? Should the handicapped be charged for their placard or special plate?

Pregnancy vs. The Elderly

2009-06-04T15:05:00.006-04:00

I was on the subway the other day and it was super crowded, so much so, that a pregnant woman was standing up. At the next stop, a few people got off and a seat opened up. As a man, who was standing tried to get the pregnant woman's attention so she could sit down, an elderly man eased into the seat. He saw the pregnant woman, but didn't get up. Eyebrows raised.

So, it made me wonder does being a senior citizen trump being pregnant when there's one seat left on the subway?

I guess the old man thought so.

He may have been thinking, "She may be pregnant, but she's young and pregnant. I'm old." His back may have been sore and his feet may have been swollen.

I'm totally guessing here, but the woman looked like she may have been six to seven months pregnant. I wonder if she thought the old man was being insensitive. She may have been on her feet all day. She baby may have been sitting in an awkward position and sitting may have helped, but she didn't say anything.

Should she have had to, though?

What do you think?

By the way, I was standing on the subway, but would have immediately offered her my seat if I had one to give.

Paid to be real

2009-05-31T12:07:00.006-04:00

I love reality shows and fortunately, they are all over television.

I sometimes wish I had a reality show, but my life just isn't that interesting. But I often feel that I am destined for stardom and a reality show would be the quickest way to achieve it. Take Elisabeth Hasselbeck, one of the co-hosts of The View. She got her start on TV on the reality show Survivor. And Eva Pigford, winner of America's Next Top Model Season 3, and is now a regular on The Young and the Restless. What luck.

Another lucky thing about reality shows is the money to be made. I always knew that the networks were paying the reality stars, but I was blown away when I found out how much some are actually making.

The Osbornes' reported earnings jumped from $5,000 each the first season to $5 million each in their last season. The Osbornes are a unique example because Ozzy Osborne was a star before the show, but they are still just living their lives and getting paid by MTV $5 million each a season.

The celebrities on ABC's Dancing with the Stars earn a base salary of $125,000.

NBC pays Donald Trump $50,000 per episode for Celebrity Apprentice and the B-list stars on The Surreal Life earn between $10,000 and $25,000 per episode, according to msn.com.

But Jon and Kate Gosselin, who were not known to the public before their show on TLC Jon and Kate plus 8, earn nearly as much as Trump. CNN reported that the couple earns between $50,000 and $75,000 an episode.

In comparison, the no-names on CBS' Big Brother earn $750 a week. It averages to about 10 cents an hour, according to Entertainment Weekly.

The contestants on CBS' The Bachelor are paid whatever their mortgage or rent is. I'm sure there is a max, but that information wasn't available.

While some careers are catapulted by reality shows, others are destroyed. Jon and Kate said last week that they hate the media after news organizations reported that Jon had an affair. Kate said they are targets because they are on television.

Tara Reid says her reality TV show Taradise, which followed the actress as she partied around the world, ruined her career. And singer Nick Lachey says his reality show Newlyweds was "among the dumber ideas I think I've ever seen executed in history."

Would you ever star in a reality show?

Lesson learned

2009-04-28T12:49:00.005-04:00

I knew there was a reason why I never drive into NYC - it's a traffic nightmare! But I thought it would be a good idea to drive into Brooklyn the other weekend.

The original plan was to take the train into NYC, then the subway to Brooklyn. But when my GPS told me I was only 35 minutes from Brooklyn (I was in Woodbridge, NJ at the time), I decided to drive. Plus, I wouldn't have to spend $13.75 on a round-trip ticket.

Because the weather was nice, everyone was out, so my 35-minute trip turned into an hour in the car. And once I got into Brooklyn, parking was limited. After driving around for about 15 minutes, I found a spot about a half mile from my destination and parked at the meter. I was so frustrated by the time I found the spot, that I didn't check to see if parking was free on the weekends. I guess I was used to the nice gesture because most NJ meters are free on the weekend.

But when I got back to my car a couple of hours later, I was greeted by a bright orange NYC parking ticket! The fine was $35. So my economical way of getting to NYC turned out to be $35 plus, gas, tolls and the stamp needed to mail the ticket!

Lesson learned. Public transportation is the way to go.

What's with portions these days?

2009-04-27T22:58:00.004-04:00

I love food and I admit, sometimes I let the rules of portion control fly out of the window.

But I was shocked at the amount of French fries that come in a large order at Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I'd been craving beef all week, something that rarely happens, and after hearing that First Lady Michelle Obama snuck out of the White House to Five Guys, I decided I wanted a burger, too. Talk about the power of persuasion!

I had never been to Five Guys before and hardly ever treat myself to fast food, so I was really excited Sunday when my husband and I went. We both ordered bacon cheeseburgers, which came with two patties (I removed one) and we shared a large fry.

Now, when Phillip came to the table with the food, that's served in brown paper bags, the bag was already greasy. Not a good sign. Phillip opened the bag and saw a mountain of fries. He couldn't even see the burgers! The fries were served in a Styrofoam cup that looked like it was about 12 ounces, but then there were fries just poured in the bag - enough to fill another 12 ounce cup! It was literally enough fries for six adults.

America is the fattest country in the world because we've let our portions get out of control.

There is no reason why a large fry should comfortably feed six. And it's not just Five Guys that's the culprit. Super-sized portions are in just about every restaurant and grocery store.

According to the New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services, portions have grown tremendously over the last 20 years. A bagel in 1989 was 3 inches wide and 140 calories. Today's bagel is double the width and 350 calories. A cheeseburger 20 years ago was 333 calories. Today, that cheeseburger will cost you 590 calories. A serving of spaghetti and meatballs in 1989 was one cup of spaghetti and three meatballs, totaling 500 calories. Today, it's two cups of spaghetti and three meatballs, equalling 1025 calories. I'm surprised the number of meatballs didn't increase! And an average-sized bottled soda, which, in my opinion, is just wasted calories, was 6.5 ounces and 85 calories. Today's bottle averages 20 ounces and 250 calories.

Half a regular order of Five Guys' fries, which the restaurant considers one serving, is 310 calories. I wish I would have known this when we ordered the large.

We need to reign it in, folks! Our portions have gotten out of control as have our waistlines.

And if you're wondering, we did not eat all of the fries! We barely put a dent in them.

Ask and you shall receive

2009-04-24T09:34:00.004-04:00

My doorbell rang yesterday, and when I opened it, there was a teenage girl standing there.

She asked if that was my red BMW in the driveway and I told her yes. She then started explaining that her prom is May 16 and the colors are red and white and she wanted to know if she could drive my car to the prom.

What?!

Now, I didn't know this girl and even if I did, I would not have let a teenager drive my car - which still have the drive-out tags in the window - anywhere!

Once the shock wore off, I mustered a "No, I'm sorry." And she just walked away.

It was the oddest request I've ever had in my life.

But once this girl left, I started thinking that it was really ballsy of her to walk up to my door, ring the bell and ask such a question of a stranger. She must have the all-she-can-do-is-say-no mentality. And then I thought, good for her.

I have that mentality, too. My mother taught me to always ask for what I want, because, in the end, all people can do is say no. And sometimes, you get a "yes." But I ask within reason.

Even though this teen's request was totally out of the question, I hope she continues to ask for what she wants in life, because eventually, she will get a yes!

Shoe Shame

2009-04-22T12:04:00.007-04:00

I'm the first to admit when I have a problem.

I have a problem. There, I admitted it.

And it's shoes.

I have too many. Some might say it's a blessing when you can open your closet and have actually think about which pair you're going to don that day. It is, but it becomes a problem when you're finding shoes in your closet that you don't remember buying, have never worn or forgotten that you have.

That happened to me two weeks ago. I was putting together an outfit for The Links' Greater NY Chapter's 60th Annual Easter Luncheon and Fashion Show and found a pair of never-worn, don't-remember-when-I-bought-them shoes! I opened the box and the Paolo Brooklyn Silver Patent pair looked familiar, but don't ask me when I bought them.

And then, there's the pair of Betsy Johnson Reese shoes that I pined after for months because I didn't want to pay the $150 pricetag, finally ordered then, got them, loved them, but have never worn them. They've been in my closet for at least six months, but probably longer!

Yes, I have a problem.

And another problem with having too many pairs of shoes is how to store them. I like to keep the boxes, so the shoes won't be just thrown in the closet. But what happens when you start throwing the boxes in the closet? Chaos!

I had had enough of opening my closet door and seeing the horrible mess of shoes at the bottom. Some of the boxes were vertical, some horizontal, some of the recently-worn shoes hadn't made it back into the boxes. So, this morning, I pulled out everything, set aside the pairs for Goodwill that I know I will never wear again, and organized the keepers.

My closet looks much better now - as you can see from the before and after pics. Next, I must tackle my clothes!

Grilled Cheese and Pickles

2009-04-18T22:42:00.004-04:00

I've always tried to never judge a book by its cover, and today, my stomach benefited from the open mindedness.

I spent the day in Fort Green, Brooklyn at the Brooklyn Flea, a flea market held every Saturday and Sunday (in Dumbo) from April through the fall. There were tons of vendors selling vintage items from broaches to bicycles. And like most flea markets - especially the outdoor ones - there was food.

I passed Saxelby Cheesemongers' stand with its long line of people waiting for grilled cheese and pickle sandwiches several times before I decided that the pressed sandwiches must be good. I love grilled cheese and I like pickles, but never thought to combine the two. But the treat that awaited me today was simple savory goodness.

I was in line for 20 minutes, in the hot sun (it was near 80 degrees and you see I'm already complaining about the weather) for this sandwich that was served on ciabatta bread. It was definitely worth the wait. The crunchy bread, spicy pickles and soft, stretchy cheese was a true delight!

Keep an open mind and get a treat!

Easter Sunday

2009-04-12T11:30:00.005-04:00

Happy Easter!

It happens without fail - every year those C.M.E. (Christmas, Mother's Day and Easter) folks show up at church. Our church is a five-minute drive from our house, including parking. But knowing that we would have tons of "visitors" today, the plan was to leave earlier than usual to make sure we were able to sit in our regular seats.

For some reason, that I won't get into in my blog to spare the embarrassment of a certain someone (but it had to do with a slow poke who had trouble tying his bowtie) we left home 10 minutes later than planned. The streets were clogged. The parking lots were full. By the time we made it into the church, the choir was already singing. And as if we needed another sign that our usual seats had already been taken, there was a line of people waiting to get into the sanctuary.

The lower level was full and we were asked to find a seat in the balcony. We've never sat in the balcony before and I was upset that we were forced to sit there on Easter Sunday with the other late people. As we sat on the second level, my eyes moved down to the main level, trying to see who was sitting in "my" seat. We don't have assigned seats at church, but most people do sit in at least the same row every Sunday.

After enviously looking down at the people who were on time enough to get a good seat, I glared at the people sitting around us, wondering how many were actually regulars or C.M.E. visitors. I also glared at the bowtie man who made us late.

Then, it dawned on me that I was sitting in church on Easter Sunday angry. I had forgotten that God didn't have to wake me up this morning to even see another Easter Sunday. I had forgotten that it's a blessing every time someone has the desire to attend church, whether they are a regular or C.M.E. visitor. I was giving the devil glory by sitting in church mad that we had to sit in the balcony, taking all the glory away from God.

I relaxed and took a deep breath and spent the rest of the service honoring the Man I was there for.

Happy Easter!

Car Craze

2009-04-03T09:15:00.004-04:00

I've become one of them - one of those drivers who parks their car at the far end of the parking lot to avoid other cars.

I picked up my new car, a BMW 328i red coupe, Tuesday and have been loving it ever since. I love my car so much that I want to protect her from dings and dents from careless drivers who don't appreciate her perfection. I used to make fun of people who parked their cars far from the entrance, away from other cars, so much so, I would park my car right next to their car just to irk them.

But since Tuesday, I found myself parking at the end of civilization. It first happened at my church, where I volunteer two days a week. I drove into the parking lot and subconsciously passed the cars and a few open parking spaces that were close to the door. I stopped at the last spot and pulled in. I kind of laughed, but thought Scarlet, that's what I named her, would be safer there.

Then, I went to the grocery store, where I normally always try to park close to the door. But I immediately pulled into one of the last spots in a row. There was another BMW parked close by, but still away from the other cars.

And yesterday, when I arrived at the gym, I passed several good spaces to park Scarlet at the end of the lot. There was a BMW 6-series also parked at the end, but the driver parked catty-corner taking up two spaces to make sure no one would park next to the car. I haven't gone that far - yet.

I'm wondering how long this behavior will last, how long the car will feel new and special to me? I hope always.

Blessing in Disguise

2009-03-30T22:38:00.006-04:00

I was in a car accident nearly a month ago. Don't worry, I'm OK. That's not the reason why I haven't posted a new blog in the last three weeks. I have no excuse for not writing.

But the point of this blog isn't why I've been such a slacker, but the blessing that came out of the car accident.

The accident happened on the Garden State Parkway. Phillip and I (we were in separate cars) had just entered the Parkway, an expressway where the cars are easily driven 80 mph. A couple of minutes after getting on the highway, the car in front of me started breaking, so I started breaking. I looked in my rear view mirror and noticed the car behind me wasn't slowing down. I thought "I'm going to be in a car accident," and then WHAM! I was in a car accident.

The car behind me slammed into me, causing me to run into the car in front of me. This caused the woman I hit to run into the car in front of her. Fortunately, no one was hurt. I had a cut on my bottom lip, but refused medical attention at the scene. However, a couple of hours after the accident, my right hand and wrist were bruised and the entire right side of my body was sore. So, Phillip took me to the ER, where we spent four hours to learn that nothing was broken or sprained.

If you're waiting for the blessing, one is that I survived a four-car accident on a busy highway, and two is that because of the accident I'm going to go from a $500 a month car note to no car note at all!

My 2008 BMW 328i was only eight months old when I had to put her down. Because she was so young, my insurance company valued my car at nearly what I paid for it. So, after State Farm cut BMW Financial a check, I walked away with a nice amount. It probably also helped that I put down a sizable down payment (see my June 30, 2008 blog).

Anyway, because of the leftover money, I am buying a 2008 BMW 328i candy apple red coupe tomorrow IN CASH! We got a great deal because it's an '08 with 9,000 miles. And what's weird is that before I purchased the '08 sedan in June, I looked at a 2008 red coupe, but couldn't afford it. Now, I'm finally getting what I want - the car and no car note!

Blessings come in the strangest forms.

Things a Woman Should Know about Style

2009-03-02T21:03:00.006-05:00

I just read "Things a Woman Should Know about Style" by Karen Homer.

I bought it for three reasons: I think I have style sometimes, but strive to have it all of the time; for the picture of Audrey Hepburn on the cover (she's definitely a style icon) and it was $7.99 at Anthropologie.

I highlighted statements throughout the book that I either agreed with or thought were funny.

Here they are:

It is the flagrant lack of practicality that makes high-heeled shoes so fascinating.

I thought this quote made so much sense that I tacked it to the top of my blog about how much high-heeled shoes hurt. High-heeled shoes hurt like heck, but they are so beautiful, which is why I continue to wear them.

Accessories are to girls what DIY gadgets are to boys. Gratifying for a while, but you always want a newer model.

I couldn't agree with this more. My husband, however, doesn't think there's a correlation. I love bracelets, necklaces and rings. He loves his CSI 2120 dual channel vibration analyzer and his Panametrics AT868 ultrasonic flow meter, whatever those are! I'm always looking for that next great piece of jewelry and Phillip, well...

You are never too fat for your accessories.

I loved this so much that it was my facebook status yesterday. I have fat days more than I'd like to admit, but on some of those fat days, I still want to go shopping. Hence the previous item. While my pants size may go up and down, my shoe size and ring size will always be a six.

The most enduring accessory of all is jewelry. Jewelry should be acquired over a lifetime of inheritance, extravagance and self-indulgence. Buy carefully or cheaply. Preferably don't buy for yourself at all.

Self explanatory.

Diamonds really are a girl's best friend. Especially big ones.

Again, self explanatory.

Don't just buy because it's cheap.

How many times have you bought something that was either too small (and you thought you'd lose weight to fit into it) or just wasn't that great because it was cheap? Don't.

(When looking for a style icon) never copy a woman who has had breast implants.

I have nothing against breast implants, I just thought this was random and funny because it was the only time Homer mentioned implants in the book. Homer suggests Nicole Kidman or Halle Berry as icons.

Carry yourself well. Walk tall and proud.

Your back will thank you.

At parties leave your bag at home. Make your boyfriend carry your lipstick in his pocket.

...and your keys, blackberry and business cards, etc.

Don't buy designer rip-offs. So what if no one else knows. You do...Think of a bag as an investment.

I've been guilty of hitting Canal Street to buy designer knock-offs, but after I bought my first real designer bag about two years ago, I just can't bring myself to buy a fake bag. There's something about carrying a real designer bag that makes you feel good. And if you buy the right one, it will be timeless.

You will always need more than one handbag. In fact, you can justify an almost limitless number. Like shoes, handbags are something a girl can always do with more of.

Something else that just makes sense.

Fur coats are unsuitable for women under 40 years of age or 5'5''.

What? I'm 33 and have wanted a fur for years. And I don't think I'm going to wait until I'm 40 to get one. I'm not sure where Homer is going with this. She explains the height factor: "Short, round women in fur look like Mrs. Tiggwinkle," she wrote, but doesn't address the age issue.

And lastly, style comes from the inside, so until you are happy in your own skin, you won't look good in anyone's else's.

I couldn't agree more!

Now, go and be stylish!

One-armed host should spark diversity discussion not dissention

2009-02-27T20:56:00.004-05:00

Cerrie Burnell has ignited a controversy in London because the one-armed actress was hired by the BBC as a children's television host.

Burnell was born with an incomplete right arm that ends in a stump at her elbow and parents are worried that the host's arm will scare their children.

Most children are naturally inquisitive and ask innocent questions that many adults are embarrassed by. And Burnell said children do ask questions.

"Children come up to me in the street every day and say 'What's that?' I wouldn't say they're frightened, but certainly they're inquisitive," Burnell said in an interview. ''I would always take the time to explain to a child. All they want is an explanation."

But while children want an explanation, adults wanted Burnell off the air. Parents complained to the network that their children would have nightmares after seeing Burnell. Rather than complaining to the network, parents should have used the situation to explain to their children about differences and diversity and how to appreciate and respect them.

Sir Bert Massie of Great Britian's Equality and Human Rights Commission said, "I think what's happening is a number of adults do have prejudices, do have very negative views about disabled people, and instead of admitting the views are their own, they're projecting them onto their children."

I hope the parents who complained take a second look at the situation and their insecurities with people with disabilities and teach their children to embrace the diversity in people, not fear it.

Red Box Block

2009-02-23T20:51:00.005-05:00

My husband and I used the redbox last night for the first time. We rented "Swing Vote." I gave it a C+ and Phillip gave it a solid B+.

If you're not familiar with redbox, it's a red box - literally - that dispenses movies for $1 each. The movies are due back by 9 p.m. the next night. The redbox has all of the new releases that Blockbuster and Netflix have, but for a much cheaper price, which may explain why some of the Blockbuster stores are closing.

There are more than 12,000 redboxes across the United States. It's convenient to just run into your local grocery store, Wal-Mart, etc. and select a movie. The box spits it out. And it should be just as easy to return the movie.

But when I went into my local grocery store tonight, I couldn't immediately return the movie because the redbox was full.

What?!

A message appeared on the screen indicating that the redbox wasn't accepting videos because it was full. I was instructed to find another redbox. It was 10 minutes to 9 p.m. and I didn't know where the next closest redbox was.

Yes, the late fee would have only been $1, but it's the principle that the redbox should be convenient, but it wasn't.

A second after I received the "I'm too full to eat another video" message, another customer walked up. I asked him to go ahead of me because if he rented a video, the redbox would hopefully accept mine.

It did.

I lucked up tonight with the customer walking up right after me. But I would have had to pay an unnecessary late fee if I would have missed the deadline for no fault of mine.

I understand that redbox is new, but I hope the execs are working out the kinks to make returning videos as easy as it is to rent them.

Budgeting 101

2009-02-18T13:14:00.005-05:00

For the six years after I graduated from college, I was living check to check. I was a struggling journalist, with a starting salary at my first paper in 1997 of $22,000. I was told by a college counselor that you should at least be making your age in thousands plus two when you graduate from college. I was 22 when I graduated. I didn't make the cut.

In 2000, I left Tennessee for New Jersey to write for a larger paper. My salary was around $24,000 when I left and it jumped to $37,000 when I moved. But even with the bump, I was moving to a place with one of the highest cost of livings in the nation, not to mention the highest car insurance in the nation. I got two raises in the 14 months at that paper before I was promoted to a larger paper within the company and that came with a decent raise. Two and a half years later, I landed at my dream paper and my salary doubled! That was 2003. And for the first two years I was there, I was getting raises every six months!

Since 2003 I have not lived on a budget. I wasn't living check to check. I could buy $100 shoes without thinking about it; $1,000+ bags and not feel the hit. I bought a BMW. I was shopping freely and not worrying about the bills getting paid, because there was plenty of money to go around.

But now, I am forced to live on a budget again. I took a buyout in December from my dream paper. I was fortunate enough to get a year's salary and benefits and I'm collecting about half of my salary from unemployment, but the job front is so depressing right now, it may take me longer than a year to find a job.

So, I enrolled in a debt free and budgeting class at my church. I'm three weeks into the nine-week workshop. Since then, I've curbed my spending and thinking twice about my purchases.

Here's a list of what I've done so far to save money:

I use Chanel mascara, which is $30 a tube. I ran out two weeks ago. But rather than buying another tube, I found some L'Oreal mascara that I got free at an event. The brush wasn't nearly as good as the Chanel brush, so I'm using the Chanel brush in the L'Oreal mascara. $30 saved.
I like to get a facial every eight weeks. The facial is $90. I knew I wanted to continue that treat through my unemployment, so I asked for spa gift certificates for Christmas to get me through a few treatments. When I got a facial on Friday, it was free for me, and that included the tip.
I had a subscription to O at Home, which recently folded. I got a postcard in the mail the other day saying the remainder of my subscription would be transferred to O, The Oprah Magazine, but if I didn't want O, I could get my money back. I have enough magazine subscriptions, so I opted to get my money back. $17 saved.
Phillip and I aren't crazy about leftovers and end up wasting a lot of food. But for the last two weeks, I've been making meals that will last three nights, like lasagna or soup. If food is left after three nights, I freeze it rather than throw it out.
I've been freelancing, which provides a few hundred dollars a month.
And I used a cobbler for the first time in my life. I have some really cute black boots, but the sole needed repairing. The old me would have thrown out the boots and spent about $150 on another pair. Instead, I paid $25 to have the boots repaired and now, they will last at least one more season.

It's been a slow process, but each effort will add up to budget success.

Celebrity should not have bought Phelps' freedom

2009-02-17T17:23:00.007-05:00

A South Carolina sheriff said yesterday that he didn't have enough physical evidence to charge 14-time gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps with smoking marijuana from a pipe after a photo of the Olympian surfaced in a British newspaper last month.

"We had a photo and him saying he was sorry for inappropriate behavior. He never said, '"I smoked marijuana,'" the sheriff said.

When do police not charge a suspect because he didn't admit to the crime? If that's all that had to be done, then future law breakers I hope you're taking notes. You can be in the picture doing the crime, then apologize for the behavior, but as long as you don't admit to the deed, you'll get off scott free!

If it were you or me in the photo and police got their hands on it, we'd be charged.

Even though the sheriff said Phelps is obligated to "obey the laws of our state," I can't help but believe the swimmer was given special treatment because of his celebrity status.

While he won't be charged, Phelps was suspended from competition for three months from USA Swimming and Kellogg Co. dropped him as a sponsor.

This was Phelps' second strike and he's gotten off easy both times. In 2004, he was arrested for drunk driving and pleaded guilty, but didn't do any time. I hope he's learned his lesson because on the third strike, the police, sheriff or judge may not be as lenient.

Are high heels worth the pain?

2009-02-16T11:52:00.009-05:00

"It is the flagrant lack of practicality that makes high-heeled shoes so fascinating." --Stephen Bayley

I have about 40 pairs of high-heeled shoes, from boots (calf and ankle) to open toed to mary janes and strappy sandals. I love the look of a high-heeled shoe, but if you asked me if I prefer high heels to flats, flats would be my answer without a doubt.

Flats are comfortable. They are cute and they work with pants, skirts and dresses. High heels can be very sexy, but comfortable, they are not!

In an attempt to be sexier for both myself and my husband, I decided to ditch the flats this past weekend and don some high heels. We had plans in the New York City Friday night - we saw Esperanza Spalding at the Jazz Standard. Because it was in the City, I wanted to get dressed up, so I wore these BCBGirls patent-leather booties my husband surprised me with a couple of months ago. They have a sexy three-inch heel, which makes me think they were more a gift for him, than me.

But I digress.

These booties are adorable, but I can only get about a half hour of standing in them before I want to chop off my feet. Once in the city, we walked about eight blocks from the train station to the club. First mistake - we should have taken a cab. Then, we waited on line for about 30 minutes. By the time we got to our table, my feet were on fire. But they calmed down during the concert and afterwards, we took a cab back to the train station.

Saturday night, still trying to be sexy, I wore another pair of high-heeled booties. I've had these Steven shoes for at least six months, but have never worn them out of the house. I put them on one Saturday I was planning to have lunch with friends in NYC and never made it out of the house. The pain was ridiculous. I grabbed my flats that day.

Well, I thought I'd give these shoes another try, since there would be very little walking that evening. The walk from the parking lot to Christopher's in New Brunswick was about four minutes. I made it there without a problem. However, the pain set in at the table. Just sitting there, my feet started to hurt. I don't think the shoes are too small, they went on comfortably enough, but maybe it was the newness and the fact that they hadn't stretched, but lord have mercy, my feet were killing me by the time we left the restaurant.

So, the four-minute walk back to the car was painful. I was doing the walk you see women do when they look like their feet hurt. You know, the half limp, half still trying to be cute walk?

I couldn't wait to get out of those shoes!

Sunday morning, when the alarm went off for church, I jumped out of bed and landed on a huge cramp in my left calf. I could barely walk. It was those damned high-heels all weekend. Ugh!

According to the American Podiatric Medical Association (APMA), 42 percent of women admitted they'd wear a shoe they liked even if it hurt; 73 percent admitted they already have a shoe-related foot issue.

Women will always wear high-heeled shoes and even I will eventually pull mine back out of the closet, when my calf stops hurting. So, the APMA offers the following tips for women who wear high heels:

1. Get the best fitting high heel as possible.

2. Cushion, cushion, cushion, That's for the bottom of your feet because with age, we lose fatty deposits on the bottom of our feet.

3. I know they aren't as cute, but we should wear a thicker heel for more stability.

4. Pay attention to the slope or pitch of the heel.

5. Wear open-toed heels to relieve pressure on corns and calluses.

When marrying for love isn't an option

2009-01-28T22:50:00.004-05:00

I had an interesting and surprising discussion tonight with a close friend about when do you give up on love and marry for companionship and shared goals.

The discussion spawned from us talking about a book, "Love Walked In," by Marisa De Los Santos, in which two characters married because they had spent a lifetime as friends, but weren't really in love with each other when they tied the knot.

I mentioned that I didn't understand why anyone would marry for anything but love. My friend, who is single and in her 30s, said the thought has crossed her mind.

I was shocked to hear her say this. I told her that, for me, love is up there with trust and respect. Why marry if you don't marry for love?

She said if she remains single, it may come down just being able to find someone she shares common goals with and with whom she can raise a family.

Still shocked, I told her that she might as well have an arranged marriage. I said I would rather she scratch off items from her wish list, such as no kids or some other baggage, before she gives up on love.

"You would just be marrying for companionship," I said.

"When you're alone, companionship becomes really important," she replied.

I completely realized that I was coming from a different - married - point of view, but I still think marriage is too serious a step to create a union with someone you're not in love with. It would be torture waiting for the day when you fall in love with that person.

Oath Do Over

2009-01-22T11:41:00.004-05:00

President Barack Obama retook the Oath of Office last night after Chief Justice John Roberts flubbed the words during Tuesday's inauguration ceremony.

I gasped twice during the oath - when Obama jumped the gun on the first line and when it appeared he forgot the line about faithfully executing the Office of the President. My heart actually sank when Obama tripped up because I knew millions of eyes were watching and some actually wanted him to mess up.

I quickly found out - thanks to MSNBC - that it was the judge who messed up the line and not the president and immediately felt badly for him. It was such a special moment for Obama that he could never have again.

Even with the president and judge stumbling their way through the oath, those words didn't matter. According to the United States Constitution, the change of power takes place at noon, whether the oath has been said or not. The oath was taken at 12:04 p.m.

But even with the certainty of the Constitution backing the legality of the office, the White House counsel suggested that Obama and Roberts redo the oath. I can only imagine that the moment was terribly anti-climatic and may have over shadowed the first oath.

I didn't think Obama should have retaken the oath, but I guess he wanted to be more safe than sorry since there are people who would have tired to challenge his title.

Mr. President

2009-01-20T22:14:00.005-05:00

Today, history was made.

Barack H. Obama was sworn in as the nation's first black president.

My husband and I planned to attend the inauguration and even went as far as to book a hotel room in D.C. in May, in anticipation of Obama's victory. But, since we didn't get tickets to the swearing in, and knew we'd have a better view at home, we decided at the last minute to avoid the crowds and cold weather and watch the festivities from our warm home.

Whether in New Jersey or the nation's capital, the day was filled with emotion. I got chills at the first look of then the president-elect and his wife as they entered St. Joseph's Church. And I cried when Obama walked, coolly and calmly, down the hall before exiting the doors onto the Capitol where he took the oath of office.

I've mentioned this in my blogs before, but it's so amazing to me that America has a black president. I'm 33 years old and I didn't think this would happen in my lifetime. But today, a black man was sworn in as the president of the greatest country in the world. He stood on the same steps that his ancestors built. Amazing.

When I pray for my family and friends at night, I will include the first family. I will ask God to protect them, to give the president the insight to lead with humility and to embrace with courage the enormous responsibility that now lies on his shoulders.

Thank you, Dr. King

2009-01-19T18:01:00.005-05:00

I feel safe in writing that today's observance of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday means more this year than it has in the past.

It's more than a day off from school or work, more than a day to lounge around the house, vegg out and watch T.V. It's a day to reflect both the sacrifices of the past and the opportunities of the future.

Tomorrow, when President-Elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as the nation's 44th president and America's first black president, would not have been possible without the struggles of Dr. King and the rest of the soldiers in the Civil Rights Movement.

It's amazing to think that just 40 years ago, Obama would have had to drink from a "Colored Only" water fountain, would have had to sit in the back of the bus and probably would have been turned away from the voting both.

But because people wanted change, not just on Nov. 4, but over time, I was able to walk in a voting booth without being harassed or threatened and vote for a black man. It literally warms my heart.

While America still has work to do to make sure everyone has equal opportunity, I cannot help but think that Dr. King is sitting in Heaven smiling because his dream has been achieved.

Thank you, Dr. King.

Big box ain't so bad

2009-01-13T18:47:00.004-05:00

I've had a membership to someone's wholesale club, be it Sam's, Costco or BJ's, for four years, but today was the first time I actually used it for what most people use their memberships for - buying everyday household items in bulk.

My husband and I got our first membership right before our first annual holiday party. We needed a place to buy tons of appetizers and liquor at rock-bottom prices. We belonged to Sam's Club then. We paid $40 for the annual membership and stepped foot in the warehouse once that year - the day we got the membership.

The next year, we accidentally let the membership expire before we bought more appetizers and liquor for the holiday party, so we renewed, bought what we needed that day and never visited again.

When we returned the following December, we found out that Sam's wasn't selling liquor anymore, so we decided to try BJ's, even though that warehouse didn't tell alcohol either.

After paying the $35 membership fee, we bought the appetizers and returned the following December, which was last month. We thought we would have to renew the membership, but found out it expires next month. We made a vow then to visit BJ's a couple of times before the membership expired.

I've never liked bulk shopping and really didn't want to take the time to make room in our closets for 150 rolls of toilet paper or a super-sized bottle of Tide that's large enough for 500 loads. But today, I finally saw what all the fuss has been about: saving money.

You really can't beat 16 bars of Lever 2000 for $7.49 or four tubes of Colgate Total, plus a toothbrush, for $9.99. I found four giant containers of Clorox Wipes for $9.49; 200 Glad freezer bags for $7.99 and 48 Swiffer mop pads for $12.49. I also found great deals on Ocean Spray cranberry juice, Windex, Puffs Plus, Tilex and a couple of books.

I used to laugh at the folks who would stuff their closets with those giant household items, but now, ours are stuffed - with savings!

It's so hard to say good-bye

2009-01-04T10:35:00.003-05:00

Kendall and Kaylee left about 10 minutes ago and I'm more sad than I expected.

They were with us since Monday and it was a busy week of mostly chasing Kaylee, the 17-month-old, around the house, making sure she didn't put anything in her mouth, telling her to stop, sit down and no.

We were busy doing arts and crafts with Kendall, who is seven years old, walking around New York City and playing computer games.

There were also tons of hugs and kisses with both.

We went to bed tired every night, but it was worth every minute.

The house is eerily quiet right now. There's no one to watch. No laughter or crying in the background. Just Phillip and me. And that's fine for now because Kendall and Kaylee are welcome back anytime!

An American Experience

2009-01-02T22:35:00.006-05:00

Since I have so much free time now, I'm seriously considering creating a book series that comes with a doll to sell.

The idea isn't new. It popped in my head today when I was in American Girl.

My niece, Kendall, and I went into the city today and we both had our first experience in an American Girl store. These dolls are $95 each and they don't pee, sit up, say your name or wash the dishes. Nothing! Nearly $100 for a doll that's supposed to teach little girls how to be women who make a difference, according to the website.

It was packed in the store and nearly everyone was buying at least one doll and an outfit.

I bought the doll, an outfit and a pair of eyeglasses, since Kendall wears glasses, for $145.

So, after you shell out all that money for a doll, you can take her to the hair salon where the doll can get her hair styled like the little girl's hair. The girl can also pick out a hair style from a poster displaying about 30 'dos. The dolls are actually placed in little salon chairs and a smock is draped around the doll while a store employee styles her hair. Too much!

There's also a hospital in case, heaven forbid, something happens to the doll. When Kendall and I checked out the hospital, a little girl was leaving her doll and it was going to take six to eight weeks to repair whatever was wrong with the doll.

Girls can have their birthday parties there for $65 a person. I paid less per person for my wedding four year ago. And they can also have brunch at the store.

I admit that got sucked into the American Girl experience, or maybe it was the sweet look on Kendall's face when she asked for a doll. But I'm not mad at the creator; I just wish I had thought of it first.

Rock-A-Bye Chandra

2009-01-01T18:49:00.007-05:00

Have you ever rocked yourself to sleep?

I did three times in the last two days while trying to rock my 17-month-old niece to sleep. I've never felt the sheer exhaustion I've experienced the last three days. It seems as if I go to bed tired and wake up tired. My niece is at the age where everything is interesting, so I'm constantly running after her. I spin four times a week, so I think I'm in pretty good shape, but I'm more tired after chasing after a toddler all day than an hour-long spin class, where I burn 600 calories.

The first time I rocked myself to sleep was yesterday afternoon. I was sitting in my office rocking Kaylee to sleep. All of a sudden, I felt her rubbing my shoulder because the rocking stopped. I had fallen asleep.

The second time was last night. I was humming the ABCs and heard Kaylee mumble something because the humming stopped. I had fallen asleep.

And the third time was about 90 minutes ago. Kaylee had fallen asleep on the way home from the mall, but by the time we got her inside, took of her shoes and changed her diaper, she was awake. The plan was not to rock or hum this time. I thought that if I sat in the rocking chair in the dark that she would drift right back to sleep. She didn't go to sleep, but I did. I woke up when I felt her trying to slide down my legs.

If only Kaylee could fall asleep as fast as I have these last days...

The New Year brings limits

2009-01-01T10:17:00.006-05:00

My husband and I swore off going to New York City on New Year's Eve three years ago after a disastrous night at a club.

We were with five other couples who prepaid for tickets. One couple's name wasn't on the list, so they never got in. I left my brand new digital camera in the bathroom and of course it was gone two minutes later when I realized it and the free bar was a good idea in theory if there had been more than three bartenders for 500 people. It took nearly 30 minutes to get a drink. And the train ride back is always standing-room only because so many New Jerseyans go into the city for the new year and leave right after midnight.

We had had enough and vowed never to go into the city again unless we had a house party to go to. For the last three years, Phillip and I had candlelight dinners at home on New Year's Eve. He grills and I make the sides. We get dressed up for each other and use our fine china. It's always been a wonderful night.

This year, we got an invitation to a house party from our friends Carla and Michael who live in Maryland. Michael, a law professor, has a year long teaching assignment at New York University and the school provided a three-bedroom apartment for him by the school. We had to turn down the invitation because my nieces, Kendall and Kaylee, are staying with us for the week.

When I offered to keep my nieces I knew it would include New Year's Eve, but my love for them overshadowed the night. Plus, we hadn't been invited to the party yet.

But last night was filled with mixed emotions. I was happy my nieces were with us, but sad that we didn't have the option to go into the city for the party. I truly felt the limits of parenting. One of the reasons why I've held off on having children is the limits they place on your life. Not having any options last night really drove home the point of how much a parent's life revolves around a child's.

Phillip made a delicious fillet mignon, but I could hardly enjoy it because Kaylee, the 17-month-old, who already had dinner, wanted to sit in my lap while I was eating. We didn't have time to get dressed up because of the kids and we completely forgot about bringing out the fine china.

While I am happy to see another year, last night was the saddest New Year's Eve I've experienced in a long time.

Fish sticks are better than I thought

2008-12-31T15:11:00.004-05:00

I had fish sticks for lunch today.

Normally, I would have had a, um, less processed fish, but my nieces are visiting. I needed something easy enough for Kaylee, the 17-month-old, to eat, even though she only ate one half of a stick.

I can't remember the last time I had fish sticks. Maybe second grade. And if so, I buried the memory. But these Mrs. Paul's fish sticks were pretty tasty. Crunchy. Fresh. Yum.

When was the last time you ate fish sticks?

Entry 1: Getting the kids to NJ

2008-12-30T09:00:00.004-05:00

If you've been following my blog, you know that Phillip and I brought my nieces, age seven years old and 17-months, back to New Jersey with us. We were all in Memphis for the holiday.

Kendall, the oldest, has flown before, so she was least of my worries, but Kaylee, the toddler, was new to flying and was another story. But first, we had to get on the plane.

Phillip and I normally fly light, if possible, we always carry on our luggage. But yesterday, that was not an option. We had three suitcases - our two carry-ons and their large suitcase. We also had a stroller, car seat, diaper bag and a bag full of toys that wouldn't fit in either suitcase. We checked nearly everything. I'm still trying to figure out how we did that without getting charged $15 per item, which is Continental's policy. Maybe the flight agent took pity on us.

After checking everything except the stroller and diaper and toy bags, we made it through security fine, even though Kendall didn't want her Build-a-Bear to go through the screening machine, but Fluffy survived.

We settled in the waiting area with an hour to spare, so I called my older sister, Kristi, the girls' mother. When telling her about checking everything, she asked if we checked the bag of toys.

Panic set in.

Where was the bag of toys?

I pictured myself placing the bag against a wall near the check-in counter.

"Kristi, I gotta go. I left the bag at the check-in counter," I said.

I grabbed my boarding pass and ID and ran through the airport, praying that the bag was still there. A week without toys was going to be hellish. Plus, a pair of my new shoes were in that bag!

Thankfully, it was sitting exactly where I had propped it.

Whew!

A little while later, we boarded the plane for the 6:10 p.m. This was an experience. Even though we had checked nearly everything, it still seemed like our arms were full.

The first mistake was not wearing our coats on the plane, so Phillip had four coats in his arms, plus the stroller. I had Kaylee, who weights nearly 30 pounds, and the diaper bag and Kendall had the bag full of toys.

Now, this might not have posed a problem if we were on a "real"plane, but our plane was one of those with two seats on one side and one on the other and probably had 12 rows. It was tiny.

Heads were bumped. Sweat was forming. A line formed behind us. Apologizes were said. Phillip couldn't get all of the coats in the small overhead bin. I had the diaper and toy bags in the floor in front of my seat, which wasn't allowed. The flight attendant stored the toy bag. Kaylee was crying and Kendall wanted her Nintendo DS.

Once we finally got settled, about six minutes later, I wondered how parents do it? My next thought was "I don't want kids for sure!"

The flight was fine. We left on time. Kaylee ate, slept and was fine during take off and landing. Kendall listened to music and finally got her hands on her DS.

Once we got to the car, we had to figure out how to get all of that stuff in the car. The suitcases and diaper and toy bags were in the trunk. The stroller was in the front seat and Kendall, Kaylee and I sat in the back. It was a tight ride.

We got home around 11 p.m. and the girls were wide awake. They finally went to sleep around 1 a.m.

My bed never felt so good.

Reinventing Myself

2008-12-21T15:43:00.006-05:00

On Friday, I braved the snow and rain and trekked to Manhattan for a workshop on reinventing myself.

Ann Fry, an author and psychotherapist, led the workshop, which was sponsored by New York Women in Communications, Inc., which I'm a member.

Fry, who reinvented herself at 60, when she left Austin for NYC three years ago, went over six steps for how to reinvent oneself:

1. What do you want to STOP doing?

2. What you want to START doing?

3. What will you NOT allow people to stop you from doing?

4. What's your mantra?

5. How will you deal with uncertainty?

6. What do you need to celebrate?

In addition to the six steps, the 13 women in attendance talked about what makes our hearts sing? For me, it's research, organizing and planning. We talked about what it means to reinvent oneself: updating yourself, taking risks, hope and opportunity were some of the answers. We also discussed if we wait or take action. I take action.

Ann thought it was great that I took a buyout 11 days ago. When I introduced myself as an 11-year reporter, who recently took a buyout, she clapped. She also clapped when two other women said they'd been downsized. She said being forced into a situation where you have to change is the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself. And I agree.

We ended the session by talking about our plans of action. Mine? I came home and started researching business plans for starting a tea party business. It's an idea I've tossed around in my head for a few months now. When I think about planning tea parties for little girls, brides-to-be or anyone who wants to have a tea party, it makes me smile. I want to move in a direction where I can't stop smiling. :)

New gig - sort of

2008-12-15T21:46:00.005-05:00

I've only been unemployed two days and I already have a new gig.

For those who haven't been following my blog, I took a buyout from my newspaper on Wednesday. I've been a reporter for 11 years and spent the last five at The Star-Ledger.

I met a friend for coffee this morning, who happens to be the Highland Park council president. She was talking about how she wants to throw an inauguration ball in New Jersey for people who don't want to travel to D.C. I told her that my husband and I tossed around this idea a couple of months ago when we were trying to decide my next career move.

I love to plan events. I took an event- and wedding-planning course in the spring and have been toying with the idea of starting an event-planning business. My husband thought the local inauguration ball could kick-off to my new career, but I didn't think we could pull it off because so many of my friends are journalists and are not allowed to endorse a candidate by attending a ball, and of our friends who aren't reporters, only a handful would probably be willing to pay upwards of $75 to attend an event. So, I tucked away the idea and we started making plans to go to D.C. next month.

But when my friend, who has connections, paying connections, all over the state, mentioned the idea this morning, my wheels started turning.

We pulled out pen and paper and started brainstorming. She had already talked with a friend who works at a Holiday Inn who promised her the "recession price" on a ballroom. She called him to let him know she was considering his offer and later in the day we were touring the space, which holds 1,000 standing.

There are a million things to do between now and Jan. 20 and things happened so fast today, but it just feels right. I'm not sure where this gig will take me - more event planning, clients for freelance work, who knows. But I thought it was too good not to have my name on it. I never want to miss out on an opportunity.

Filing for unemployment

2008-12-11T12:50:00.004-05:00

I filed for unemployment this morning, the first day in 13 years that I don't have a job. I've never filed for unemployment before and have never known anyone who has had to file, so this is a big step for me.

I'm going to be honest here, I've always associated unemployment with negative images - a woman with five kids trying to get over on the system or someone who really isn't disabled, but filed for disability because he just doesn't want to work. I never thought someone like me - a college-educated middle class reporter, who's married to a college-educated, middle-class engineer - would ever have to file for unemployment, but I don't have a job.

I'm getting a generous severance package from my previous employer, so the thought did cross my mind not to apply. But I've been working more than a decade and part of the taxes I pay goes to fund unemployment, so that money is owed to me.

So, filing was the first thing I did this morning. It was an easy process; I did it online, sitting on my couch in my robe. After I filled out the forms, which required me to explain that my newspaper downsized 250 positions and that I was willing to work now and that I'm actively looking for a job, I received a notice saying I successfully filled out the paperwork. I have a re-employment orientation meeting Feb. 20, where I will meet with someone who will help me find a job. I start getting the weekly checks after the meeting, but the first check will be retroactive. And I was pleasantly surprised at the amount, $560 a week after taxes!

Even though I'm just one day into unemployment, I'm already looking forward to finding another job. I'm not the type who likes to sit around and watch talk shows all day. I had five days off around Thanksgiving and by day three I was going crazy. So, I can't imagine sitting around the house sane for more than a month or so. Until I find another job, I plan to freelance and volunteer at my church's office.

Wish me luck!

The end of an era

2008-12-10T21:49:00.004-05:00

Today is my last day as a working journalist.

I've spent the last five-plus years as a reporter for The Star-Ledger, the best and largest paper in New Jersey. When I moved from Tennessee to New Jersey eight years ago, I had never heard of The Ledger, but I quickly learned that if I was going to continue to be a journalist in the Garden State, then The Ledger is where I needed to be. And since landing at The Ledger, I've worked with some of the most talented editors and reporters in the industry and for that, I'm eternally grateful.

But the news industry is just too unstable to warrant me staying. The owners offered buyouts - one year's salary and benefits - and it was just too good to turn down. So, today, along with 30 other reporters, photographers and editors, is the end of an era. By the end of the year, 152 newsroom employees would have left The Ledger.

I wasn't sure how I would feel this morning and disappointingly, I felt nothing when my alarm clock went off at 9 a.m. (journalists are not 8-5 folks). I drove to work, walked into the office and still nothing. I wanted to be weepy, sorry, sad, something, but nothing. Even after my going-away lunch with my bureau and the larger going-away dinner with the other journalists who left today, still nothing.

I'm fearful that one morning in the near future I may wake in a panic with tears streaming down my face. For the last 11 years, 13 if you count my junior and senior years in college, I've defined myself as a reporter. I am no longer a reporter. My husband says I am a reporter - just an unemployed one - but still a reporter.

Some people say their job is not who they are, but what they do. But journalism was who I am. It's instilled in my bones, in my heart.

I'm not sure where life is going to take me or where I will land, but I hope it's just as fulfilling as journalism.

Time to be thankful

2008-11-26T20:47:00.006-05:00

It's that time of the year when everyone thinks about what they are thankful for, so here's my list.

My husband. We've been married a little more than four years and I am thankful that the happy days outnumber the sad ones. He is my best friend.
My family. I could not imagine not talking with my sisters and parents several times a week. They are the best!
My in-laws. Even though I am spending the holiday away from my parents and sisters, I am thankful for my in-laws. I am thankful that my in-laws and I have a great relationship and I actually look forward to spending time with them.
My job. While I took a buyout from the newspaper and my last day is Dec . 10, I am thankful that for the last five+ years I've worked for a thoughtful family who offered their employees generous buyouts rather than laying us off without a severance package.
Friends. I have dear friends from childhood, college and later in life who help to fulfill my life.
Spanx. After not losing the weight I planned in anticipation of Friday's formal event, I'm thankful for the Spanx that will help hold in my stomach.
Cheap gas. After paying upwards of $3.69 a gallon for gas over the summer, I'm thankful that I filled up for $1.99 a gallon today for supreme.
The spa. I try to get a facial every six to eight weeks. I'm going Friday and can't wait to pamper myself.
Reality TV. It's my guilty pleasure.
Car washes. When my car is clean, it makes me smile :)
President-Elect Barack Obama. I'm thankful for the hope he has brought and will bring in 2009.

What are you thankful for?

The DINKS are getting kids

2008-11-20T22:28:00.006-05:00

My husband and I are DINKS - Double Income No Kids. And we like it that way because we love our freedom - financial freedom, travel freedom, everything freedom.

But things are changing, temporarily.

My two nieces, age seven and 15 months, will be staying with us the last week of the year. My older sister, the mother of the girls, and my mother were on the phone one night, when my sister asked my mother if the girls could stay in Memphis the last week of the year because she and her husband have to return to work and the girls' school and daycare are closed that week.

Since I took a buyout from my job at the paper (my last day is Dec. 10) I jumped at the opportunity to take care of my nieces, who I see about four times a year since they live in Ohio. My mother voiced immediate concern over the girls staying with my husband and me for a week.

"It's not just a weekend," she warned, probably remembering how I complained about how Kaylee, the youngest, ran me wild when I saw her Labor Day weekend. She's at that age where everything is a toy that she MUST touch.

While we don't want kids, we do love them, and I cannot wait to take care of the Kendall and Kaylee. I'm looking forward to spending more than just the weekend with them. We're going to have true quality time. We will spend our days at the library, Barnes and Nobel and exploring New York City. Kendall is already talking about visiting the Statue of Liberty and is excited to ride the subway.

Kaylee will be too young to remember her first week in Jersey, but hopefully, Kendall will remember this week for life.

Good or bad, I know I will.

Race matters

2008-11-05T12:25:00.013-05:00

Sometimes, it's not about race. But today, it is.

It's the day after our nation elected Barack Obama, who will serve as the first black president of the United States of America, and I'm still stunned by his sweeping victory. While this win will be savored by Democrats, the Republicans who just couldn't vote their party line and the countries around the world who were rooting for the senator, black Americans will probably relish in this victory the most.

And I want blacks to celebrate harder, longer and with tears in our eyes because of our history in America. Our history of slavery. Our history of segregation. Our history of beatings, hangings, burnings and mutilations because of the color of our skin. Our history of being denied to vote. Our history of unequal opportunities for good schools, fair housing and well-paying jobs. And to think some of that violent, sad history was as recent as 40 years ago. But what's even more disheartening, is that some of that "history" still goes on today.

But even with that history, because of Obama's win, when my 7-year-old niece looks into my eyes and asks if she can be president of the United States, I can finally say "yes."

Because of Obama's win, little black boys, raised by single mothers, will finally have a role model.

And maybe I'm stretching here, but it's my hope that gun-toting blacks, who drive up black-on-black crime statistics, will think twice before pulling the trigger because of Obama's win.

People who didn't have hope before yesterday, now have something to grab on to.

It is amazing to think that come Jan. 20, our nation will be led by a black man - a black man who 143 years ago could have been a slave. America took baby steps in getting to where we are today. It took 44 presidents to elect a black man and he will have a presidency like no other. Not only because the economy has tanked; our troops are fighting two senseless wars and millions of Americas need health care, but because most blacks have to work twice as hard to get half as far. So, some people will hold Obama to a higher standard than previous presidents. I wouldn't wish the weight Obama carries on his shoulder on my worse enemy.

But Obama warned Americans last night that it could take longer than one year or maybe even one term to get the nation back on track. It took President George W. Bush eight years to make his mess, so Obama shouldn't be expected to clean it up overnight.

But even before the first national problem is addressed, Obama is well on his way to fixing the problem of hopelessness in black Americans.

History was made today

2008-11-04T09:54:00.006-05:00

I am not a morning person, but I was wide awake at 5:15 this morning, eager to get to the voting booth. Since Barack Obama was named the Democratic presidential nominee, I have been looking forward to Nov. 4.

I vote in every election, and when I say, every, I mean every. With a mother who is a retired American History teacher, my degree in African-American Studies and just being a black woman, I know my people's history when it comes to voting - or being denied to vote. And because of that, I never miss an election - casting my ballot is something I take very seriously.

I arrived at the polling location at 6 a.m. and there were already hundreds of people waiting in line. I live in a majority black neighborhood, so most of the people in line were black.

I just smiled. I stopped. I looked at the line. I took it all in.

Never before, in my 15-year voting history, have I seen such a sight: Proud black people who could not wait to vote. I was nearly moved to tears.

Everyone was friendly. People were laughing and talking. There were no strangers in line. We were one family on a mission - to elect Obama. I don't want to assume that just because people are black that they're going to vote for Obama, but everyone around me was an Obama supporter.

I spoke with an 18-year-old who was voting for the first time. She did her part today in making history.

I talked with a 60-year-old who has voted the last 30 years.

"Today is different," he said.

Different in a good way, I thought.

I am only 33 years old and I never thought I would have the chance to vote for a black man for the president of the United States, so I cannot imagine how people my parents and grandparents age feel today.

I have always been proud of my race, my history filled with struggles, challenges and successes. But today, "proud" is too weak a word to describe how I feel. I'm walking a little taller. I'm smiling a little wider. No matter the outcome, today, I made history.

Churches must toe the line during elections

2008-10-28T17:57:00.005-04:00

Over the last couple of months, my older sister, who lives in Ohio, has been sharing with me her pastors' comments about the election.

She and her family attend Solid Rock Church in Monroe, where the pastors, Lawrence and Darlene Bishop, have been making comments about how Christians shouldn't support a candidate who is pro-choice. And we all know which candidate is pro-choice.

The Bishops have been very careful in not mentioning names, I assume because they know that churches cannot endorse political candidates because of their tax-exempt status. The Internal Revenue Service says churches may pass out voting guides as long as they don't endorse candidates. Also, it's legal for religious groups to take positions on public-policy issues, including issues that divide candidates in an election, which is what the Bishops did, without using GOP Presidential Nominee John McCain's name.

But Sunday, the Bishops went a step further in their mission. They invited Apostle Kimberly Daniels to the church to give an anti-abortion talk. Daniels, who is the founder of Florida-based Spoken Word Ministries, which is, according to the website, "an inner-city, multi-racial church with a vision to reach the lost for Jesus Christ and to train them to do the greater works," demonstrated who she is planning to vote for by showing a slide show featuring pictures of aborted fetus'.

Daniels' message was so powerful that my sister and brother-in-law, who are lifelong Democrats, were actually considering voting for McCain. And who wouldn't after pictures of aborted fetus' are shoved in your face? That doubt in the voter's mind is what the Bishops wanted.

My sister said the Bishops, over the last couple of months, and Daniels on Sunday, have been trying to make people feel guilty for supporting Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama. Their message was Christians should be pro-life. In my opinion, the two can co-exist. The beliefs co-exist in me. I am a Christian, yet I am pro-choice. I should be able to do whatever I please to my body, because it's my body.

People should be able to come to their own conclusions about which candidate they support without being threatened or told they will burn in Hell for supporting someone who, like everyone else, has the right to believe what he believes. There is more to Obama than being pro-choice, just like there is more to McCain than being pro-life. Solid Rock's approach to the election was simplified, when it should not have been. Does education, healthcare and economy not matter? I guess not, if you fall under Solid Rock's definition of a Christian.

Goodwill is on the come up

2008-10-27T23:54:00.005-04:00

My husband and I are attending a 70s disco benefit gala Saturday and 70s attire is encouraged. I was thinking we would just stop by our local Goodwill Industries store, spend about $15 each and walk out with fly outfits.

We went to the Goodwill store Saturday and were blown away by the modern merchandise. There were no obvious 70s clothes - polyester bell bottoms, leisure suits, mini skirts with screaming patterns or tall white patent-leather boots.

I thumbed through the dress section and saw cute clothes from J. Crew, The Limited and Express. Name brands. Stuff I would wear today.

I walked over to my husband who was looking at the shirts. There was nothing stretchy or shiny to be found.

I overheard two teenage girls who were scanning items looking for clothes that could be used for Halloween costumes. They were also empty-handed.

The image of Goodwill has changed from hobo, 60s and 70s clothes to up-to-date, slightly used items. It's good that people who have to shop at Goodwill for clothes to wear to work and school have a nice trendy selection.

We left without buying anything. The next day, we visited a seasonal Halloween store and bought mac daddy and mac mama outfits.

Blacks burn, too.

2008-10-26T11:38:00.005-04:00

That's a picture of my sunburned, peeling leg. Look at it! It's disgusting, right?!

Contrary to popular belief, blacks can sunburn and peel, too.

Earlier this month, my husband and I spent six days in Turks and Caicos in the Caribbean for our 4th wedding anniversary. We literally laid by the pool and on the beach for five of the six days. The sun in T&C is like no other I've experienced and I grew up in Memphis.

I've always liked to tan a bit because I've always thought my skin was slightly pale. I love the golden color my skin turns once the sun hits it, so I was really excited about going to the beach to lay out. My goal was to get tan!

Little did I know that black people burn in the sun, too. I noticed my white friends every summer with their red skin, tan and burned. I never thought that would happen to me. My skin didn't turn red, but by the last day while laying out at the pool, it was on fire. But I left the island with a gorgeous, golden tan.

A week later, still glowing, my left arm started to peel. It was spotted, like a bad case of eczema. The next week, which was last week, my legs went. This morning, I saw a little dry spot on my right thigh.

I'm tan on just about every part of my body, so I'm dreading what's to come. I'm constantly putting on lotion, trying to keep my skin moisturized because I don't like to see my dry, peeling skin. I've learned a tough lesson about the sun. Blacks do burn. Blacks do peel, so stay out of the sun!

I've been bought out!

2008-10-24T17:24:00.007-04:00

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

On Aug. 4, I signed buyout papers at New Jersey's largest newspaper. Today, I found out that I was approved to take the buyout!

I'm wondering why I don't feel sad about leaving the news business - it's been my life for the last 11 years, 13 if you include the two years I wrote for The Daily Beacon at The University of Tennessee in Knoxville. Some of my co-workers, who have been dreaming about getting the buyout for the last two months, where walking around in a daze after finding out they got it. Maybe I will feel some sort of melancholy emotion on my last day, which will probably be Dec. 10. Until then, I'm all smiles.

News will always have a special place in my heart, but I feel as if the world is my oyster right now. I have a chance to start over. I feel like a kid talking about what she wants to be when she grows up.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love event planning. My friends call me "Martha Stewart." So, maybe I will start an event and wedding-planning business.

An easy transition from journalism is public relations. I actually interviewed with a firm in NYC Tuesday and was offered the job Wednesday, but the president of the company and I just couldn't agree on the salary, so I had to turn down the offer. I was flattered I got the offer so fast and beat out three other candidates, but my skills and talents were worth more than she was paying. I haven't given up on PR, though. It was one interview. One firm. There are thousands out there.

I could also freelance full time. Oh, the thought of not having to go into an office everyday makes me smile. I could write from my couch, in my PJ's, comfy and cozy.

I'll be walking away from my newspaper with enough money to be comfortable for a while, so I can take my time and figure out what my next move will be.

The world is at my fingertips and I love it!

Where's the maverick?

2008-10-16T14:55:00.009-04:00

Two shots of Cabo Wabo tequila sat on the coffee table in my den last night. After being slightly bored during the last presidential debate, my husband and I thought we'd make it interesting by taking a shot every time GOP Presidential Nominee John McCain said "maverick." He said it so many times during the last debate, we were sure we'd be nice and buzzed by the end of the night.

Ninety minutes later, the shots of tequila were still there. McCain never referred to himself as a "maverick." So instead, we tossed back the liquor in honor of Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama.

I can't get inside McCain's head, but maybe his team told him he overdid it with the "maverick" term during the second debate. Or maybe he read the article in the New York Times that gave the history of the term "maverick," which has nothing to do with the nominee's principles.

According to The Times article, "In the 1800s, Samuel Augustus Maverick went to Texas and became known for not branding his cattle. He was more interested in keeping track of the land he owned than the livestock on it, Terrellita Maverick said; unbranded cattle, then, were called 'Maverick’s.' The name came to mean anyone who didn’t bear another’s brand."

The Mavericks of Texas, who are known for their progressive ideas, are upset that McCain refers to himself as a "maverick."

“I’m just enraged that McCain calls himself a maverick,” said Terrellita Maverick, 82, a San Antonio native told The Times. “It’s just incredible — the nerve! — to suggest that he’s not part of that Republican herd. Every time we hear it, all my children and I and all my family shrink a little and say, ‘Oh, my God, he said it again.’ ”

Maybe McCain got word from Texas to stop referring to himself as something he's not. Or maybe he just wanted a different strategy last night. Either way, my husband and I only had one shot and it really didn't count.

We should have taken a shot every time McCain said "Joe the plumber."

Maids aren't made for me

2008-10-15T17:04:00.006-04:00

I love a clean house, but hate to clean. So, the thought of hiring a housekeeper has crossed my mind more than once. The only thing that's stopped me is while I don't like to clean, my life isn't so hectic that I don't have time to do it.

While we were in Turks and Caicos last week, we stayed at The Somerset, a lovely well-appointed resort that offers twice daily maid service. For someone who's dreamed of hiring a maid, I was so uncomfortable when she arrived and started cleaning.

My husband and I were only in the room once - the day it rained - during her visits. But sitting there watching TV as she stripped the bed, cleaned the bathrooms, loaded and started the dishwasher, swept and mopped the floors and dusted the furniture was such a strange feeling.

We've stayed in hotels and bed and breakfasts across the country and world and it's always nice to come back to a clean room. But I never picture someone actually cleaning the room. Day after day, I've just appreciated a made bed, fresh towels and a clean bathroom. But being in the room while the maid is cleaning made me feel badly for the housekeeper. Yes, I was grateful she had a job, but watching her do her job made me squirm.

I felt guilty.

Guilty that I was on vacation and she wasn't.

Guilty that I was perfectly capable of cleaning the room, but she was.

Guilty that I could afford to stay at the luxury resort, but she probably couldn't.

It made me think twice about wanting to hire a maid. I've been blessed with a good job and a nice house that I need to clean - not someone else.

It pays to be early

2008-10-09T11:28:00.012-04:00

As someone who hates being late, I've never missed a flight in my life.

My husband and I planned a trip to Turks and Caicos for our 4th wedding anniversary. It's a small island in the Caribbean between Haiti and Jamaica. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 1:55 p.m. Tuesday and we live about 40 minutes from the airport. We left our house a little after 11 a.m. heading to a parking lot near the airport. We leisurely drove to the lot. When we arrived at noon and started pulling out the suitcases from the trunk. I noticed the small travel bag containing all of our regular-size toiletries, the video camera and a couple of other items wasn't in the trunk. This was the only bag we were planning to check.

We checked the backseat and realized the bag was at home.

We looked at our watches and wondered if we had time to drive home, grab the bag and drive back to the airport without missing our flight.

We decided to try it.

"You have to drive 90 all the way if we're going to do this," I said to my husband.

He didn't mind. We were in my BMW 328i - a car that's designed to be driven fast.

We made it to our exit on the New Jersey Turnpike in record time - about 15 minutes - only to hit a parking lot of traffic after we payed the toll. I started to worry. I called American Airlines to find out if our flight was on time. It was.

"Great!" I said. "When you need your flight to be late, it's not."

We had a layover in Miami. So, I asked if there was another flight to Miami that day. There wasn't.

We got through the traffic and pulled up in front of our home. I ran inside the house, snatched the bag and sprinted back.

My husband again put the petal to the metal as we headed back to the airport. It was 12:35 p.m.

I didn't say a word during the trip. I prayed the entire way - prayed that we would make it, that we wouldn't get a ticket and that my husband wouldn't lose control of the car after hitting 100 mph more than a few times.

If we missed the flight, it would delay our trip a day and we'd have to pay for a night at the hotel when we'd be sleeping in our own bed that night.

We got to the parking lot at 1:05 - again record time. We left the keys to the car and the parking lot employee told us the van would be back in two minutes to get us. We stepped outside to wait for the van. There was another man also waiting. My husband asked if he had been waiting long.

"About five minutes. Even though the guy inside said the van would be here in two minutes. And I'm in a rush," he said.

"We're rushing, too," I said. "What time is your flight?"

"2:15 p.m.," the man said.

"We're 1:55 p.m.," I replied, thinking what I would give for a 2:15 p.m. flight right now.

When the van pulled up. I told the driver that we were all rushing.

We got to the airport at 1:15 p.m.

I went to a kiosk and started checking in, but got a notice that we were checking in too late and we should see an agent.

"Ugh," I screamed.

I turned around and noticed about 10 people in line waiting to check in with the agent.

"We have a 1:55 flight. Do you mind if we go next?" I asked.

No one objected. Thank God.

The agent overrode the computer, but said it was too late to check any bags.

"You have to get rid of your liquids," she said.

"The bag is full of liquids," I said.

"Do you want to go or do you want your liquids," she asked.

We immediately started throwing out our full-sized liquids. Shampoo, conditioner, shaving gel, face scrub, mouse, sunblock. It was ironic since we went home to get the bag with the liquids that we ended up throwing them out.

The agent issued the tickets, I thanked the folks in line again and we ran to security.

While in line, I noticed that my husband's boarding pass had the wrong name it - Cara.

"Just act natural. Don't say anything and maybe he won't noticed. We don't have time to go back," I said.

My husband handed the security agent his passport and boarding pass.

"I think you handed me your wife's," the agent said, after noticing a woman's name on the paper.

The agent looked at my boarding pass, looking for a man's name, and when he didn't find one, he informed my husband that he had to go back to the ticket agent.

"You go through security," my husband said. "I'll catch up with you."

"I'm not getting on the plane without you," I said.

At this point, I started freaking out all over again as I pictured the plane taking off without us.

I was halfway through the security screening line, when I turned around to see my husband running to join me with his new ticket.

We made it through security, but weren't in the clear yet - we still had to get to the gate.

I've always thought it was kind of funny to see people running through the airport like their life depended on it. Now, it was our turn.

Thank God I had spent the last month running four miles a day to get bikini ready. It prepared me for the sprint through the airport. We were flying. People were laughing, telling us to slow down and getting out of our way. It was crazy.

We got to the gate and were met with a smiling agent who looked like she knew what we had just gone through to make to the gate. She gladly scanned our tickets and we boarded the plane.

Whew! We barely made it!

Heelairous? Not so much!

2008-09-30T14:25:00.005-04:00

Two stay-at-home moms, Britta Bacon and Hayden Porter, created Heelarious, a soft high-heel shoe for baby girls, age 0 to 6 months.

The women, who live in Bellevue, Wa., describe the shoes as an "extremely funny, completely soft, fully functional high-heel crib shoes for babies.”

They sell for $35 a pair and come in a variety of colors, including hot pink and a leopard satin print. Each shoe is named, from Brooke to Sophie to Kate, whose style will retire soon. The ladies have received a ton of press about their collapsible high heels, including being featured on The Today Show to Good Morning America and in People magazine.

I know the shoes are a joke, but there's a decent size heel on every shoe. Most six-month-olds aren't walking yet, but there are exceptions, so can you imagine a baby trying to walk on a shoe with a collapsed heel on the bottom? It's as if the baby will be walking with a lump on the bottom of her foot.

The Heelarious shoes made me think of the thong underwear that was marketed to girls 10 to 16 years old by Abercombie and Fitch.

"It's cute and fun and sweet," said Hampton Carney, spokesman for the company based in New Albany, Ohio.

But one parent, quoted in a Milwaukee paper, said "It's Frederick's of Hollywood for preteens and teenagers."

Why does a 10-year-old need a thong? And why does a two-month-old need high-heeled shoes? They don't!

Let little girls be little girls. That 10-year-old has the rest of her life to wonder if her pantyline is showing through her skirt. And the two-month-old has the rest of her life to wear heels. Parents are allowing their children to grow up too fast. Young girls shouldn't be subjected to aspects of the lives of grown women.

It's too early for Halloween

2008-09-22T09:44:00.005-04:00

I was running through my neighborhood yesterday and I passed a house with Halloween decorations up. These weren't Fall decorations, like a pumpkin on the porch or a scarecrow in the yard. They were legitimate Halloween decorations - skeletons and ghosts hanging from tree branches and a big witch slumped on the porch.

I immediately thought "It's too early for Halloween."

Yesterday was the last day of summer, so technically, this family brought out the decor before the calendar said Autumn. I shook my head after realizing that Halloween is 40 days away.

I'm sure we've all gone into stores, like Target and Wal-Mart, where the day after Christmas, they already have the Valentine's decorations up. Or the day after St. Patrick's Day, the employees are pulling out the Easter bunnies. I looked through the Sunday circulars to see if stores were already advertising Halloween stuff and they were. Target has one page of Fall decor, which includes a candy dish that reads "Cast a Spell" and a little tree with spiders and cats hanging from its branches. It's not overkill. CVS, on the other hand, is already selling Halloween costumes, tons of decorations and candy. And A.C. Moore's four-page ad is stocked with Halloween goodies.

Retail corporations have been pushing holidays on consumers for years, but we have control over how early we push them on ourselves. I wonder how early this family will have their Christmas tree or Hanukkah lights up.

Artful handwriting

2008-09-15T16:03:00.006-04:00

I start an eight-week calligraphy course tonight and I'm super excited about it.

I've been interested in learning calligraphy for more than a year now and tried to take this "boot camp" course before. The last time I registered for it, the class was canceled because not enough people signed up. Hearing the disappointment in my voice when I told my older sister the course wasn't going to happen, she gave me a calligraphy pen set and a how-to book on the artful handwriting, but it was so hard to teach myself.

I've always been told I have a neat handwriting and I like the way I write. The calligraphy teacher said my penmanship was "expressive" after she saw my hand-written registration form. Hopefully, that's a good sign that I will easily pick up the talent.

When I mentioned the class to a friend, she said she's been looking for an "adult-handwriting class." She said her handwriting is horribly embarrassing and wants to improve it. I literally laughed out loud when she told me about her class search. I found a class in Pennsylvania that promises to: increase legibility of print or cursive styles, increase fluency and speed, reduce pain in fingers or hands when writing and improve pencil grasp for greatest efficiency of movement. Too bad my friend lives in D.C. She could have signed up for this class. She's yet to find a class in her area.

While admiring my new talent, I also hope to make some money by addressing envelopes, writing invitations, etc. The average calligrapher charges $2 an envelop and the average bride and groom invites 150 people to their wedding. That could be a quick $300 bucks. I'm a true believer that an invitation sets to the tone for an event and I love to receive invitations scribed by a calligrapher.

I'm looking forward to sculpting words into art.

Vaction spot is in the eye of the storm

2008-09-08T16:25:00.005-04:00

My husband and I go on a big trip every year for our anniversary. The first year was Paris, second was Savannah, Ga., the third was South Africa and this October we're headed to Turks and Caicos. We hope.

Turks and Caicos (T&C) is a small island in the Caribbean. It's south of the Bahamas, east of Cuba and north of the Dominican Republic. And with the last two hurricanes - Gustav and Hanna - T&C has been in the eye of the storm. And weather forecasters are already talking about Ike.
September is the height of hurricane season and even though we're only eight days in, it's been very busy.

I frequent the forums on tripadvisor.com, a website for travelers. There's a forum for just about every place in the world, so lately, I've been on the T&C forum. There are tons of people posting messages about their travel plans - or trip reports - the best hotels, what to do and where the foodies should eat. When I logged onto trip advisor this morning, all of the talk was about Hanna and the damage she left in T&C. Some of the resorts are closed at least until Ike blows through. One traveler, who was scheduled to stay at The Sands in T&C this weekend, was told her reservation had been transferred to the The Sands in Jamaica. Wow!

Locals who work in the hotels, bars, restaurants and the airport, those who essentially who make the tourism industry happen, have packed up and gone home. Sometimes people forget that just because they have booked a vacation, that without the workers, there is no vacation.

I called the resort my husband and I will be staying for hopefully six glorious days and it's fine now and hopefully, that will be the case after Hurricane Ike.

I'm hoping things will settle down by October, but if they don't, I've put some safeguards in place: today, I bought trip insurance.

Where's the diversity?

2008-09-03T15:35:00.004-04:00

I wasn't nearly excited about watching the Republican National Convention as I was the Democratic National Convention, but thought I'd tune in anyway.

The first thing I noticed about the crowd in Minnesota was the lack of diversity.

"This doesn't represent America," I said out loud.

The members of the GOP looked just as happy as the Dems did last week. They were cheering, clapping and wearing those silly hats. But what was missing from the GOP crowd was the beautiful diversity America offers. I admit, I only watched about 45 minutes, but in that time, I only noticed three blacks and one Hispanic, the rest were white men and women, many wearing cowboy hats. But the diversity during the Democratic convention was so apparent, that I didn't even notice it, if that makes sense. It took not seeing many black or brown faces to realize how diverse the Democratic party really is.

As someone who is extremely liberal, I don't understand how anyone can be a Republican, and I often feel sad for them. But last night, I felt especially sad for the GOP. I wondered if they noticed the lack of diversity. I can only guess probably not because their party doesn't mirror the real world.

Are you packing?

2008-08-28T13:46:00.010-04:00

My husband and I leave for Ohio tomorrow for the holiday weekend to see my older sister and her family and I haven't packed a stitch of clothing!

That's not like me. I hate last-minute packing, but it was a last-minute decision to take the trip, hence we're driving the nine hours to get there. I love my sister and all, but I refuse to shell out $900 for a plane ticket to the mid-west. Plus, I've been crazy busy this week and haven't had a chance to even pull out my Coach weekend bag. I bought this bag in hopes that my husband would whisk me away for the weekend. That hasn't happened.

But I digress.

Since my husband travels a lot for work, he's become an expert packer. All he needs is about 15 minutes to throw a few pairs of pants and shirts in a suitcase. He has a few pairs of socks, undershirts, boxers and a set of toiletries that always stay packed, so he will be ready to head out in a moments notice. And he normally wears the same pair of shoes he travels in.

I, on the other hand, take forever to pack. No matter where we're going - a casual few days in Memphis, my hometown, or Paris, France, I stress over what to bring. I pull out outfits, lay them on the bed then accessorize jewelry and shoes. I always overpack, no matter how many shirts, skirts, dresses or pants I put back in the closet. I must have been crazy to think that I was only going to bring a carry-on for two weeks in South Africa. Ha! That turned out to be a horrible packing experience. I pretty much turned our guest bedroom into my closet for a week while I carefully packed my checked bag. There were clothes everywhere.

Once I decide exactly what to bring, then there's the actual packing the suitcase. Is it better to roll or fold? Everyone I've talked with says roll. I usually roll stuff that won't wrinkle easily and lay clothes across the rolled clothes that will require an iron if I would have rolled them. I don't believe in ironing, which is why my dry cleaning bill is so expensive. I rather pay to have it dry cleaned and professionally pressed than to lug out an ironing board.

So, as I'm typing this blog, I'm thinking about what to take to Ohio. Dresses would be the easiest choice because it's one item a day. And considering it's 12:45 a.m. Friday as I'm finishing this entry, (I started writing at 2 p.m., but got called away to cover some breaking news) the packing may have to wait until the very last minute - the morning.

How you doin'?

2008-08-26T15:45:00.008-04:00

That's radio and now television talk-show host Wendy Williams' catch phrase.

You have to say the "doin'" very exaggerated.

If Wendy Williams were to ask me that, I'd have to tell her not good and it's her fault!

I love, love, love Wendy Williams, but had to stop the love last week when I tried to see her new daytime talk show, The Wendy Williams Show on FOX. She had a six-week run in four markets. Her radio show on WBLS is broadcast out of New York City, so that's where the show was taped.

I requested tickets as soon as the website went up, which was about two months ago. I finally received an email about a week ago, confirming me for Thursday, during the last week of the six-week run. I was super excited - one I was going to see Wendy Williams in person for a length of time, and two, I was spending the day in my beloved NYC!

According to the show directions, guests had to be in line before 11 a.m. for the 1 p.m. taping. My friend, Erica, and I arrived at 10:35 a.m. and were numbers 66 and 67. We were given blue tickets, which meant we were guaranteed a spot in the studio audience, according to a crew member. Folks who arrived after 11 a.m. received yellow tickets and no guarantee.

We waited, in the hot sun, slowly moving closer to the door. Occasionally, a crew member would come out and make an announcement and apologize for the long wait.

"It's taking them forever to move people through security," she explained.

We continued to wait.

One hour passed.

More announcements about security and heartless apologies.

Two hours passed.

There were four people separating Erica and me from the door. I could even feel the cool air from inside as it opened.

Then, a different crew member - the bearer of bad news - came out and said that the studio was full. She explained that Wendy Williams had invited too many of her friends and more seats than usual were reserved for VIP.

And here I was thinking I was VIP with my now useless blue ticket.

People cursed. Arms were folded across chests. Someone even threw something. I couldn't make it out, but I think it was that darned blue ticket!

"The best we can do is put you in the 'How you doin'?' room. There's coffee and Munchkins in there and Wendy will greet you after the show," she said.

What?! Did I just stand in the hot sun for two hours getting lied to over and over about gaining entry into the studio? Incredible! I was pissed.

So, Erica and I left in a huff and went to the closest bar we could find and drank our lunch: a pitcher of white sangria.

Wendy Williams' show was picked up for a full season beginning next year. Good for her. Hopefully she will save more seats for the true fans, those who wait in line for hours just to get a glimpse of her big blond wig, than her friends.

What in the world did we walk into?

2008-08-25T11:02:00.004-04:00

I'm sure that's what my parents were thinking Saturday as we walked around the Jersey City LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) Pride Festival.

My parents were in town from Memphis for a few days and my husband and I took them to Jersey City for a couple of open houses because we're considering moving to that area. On the way to the third home, we passed a festival. Music was blaring. Balloons were flying. And there was a smell of grease in the air. We decided to stop to get something to drink and see what was going on.

I think I noticed the rainbow flags first, because a few minutes after realizing what kind of festival it was, my mother asked, "Is this a gay event?"

Now, my parents are uber religious and ultra conservative. They're the kind who pray that homosexuals find their way back to the land of straightness, since God certainly didn't allow them to be born that way.

I, on the other hand, believe people are born the way God intended - lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, etc.

So, I turned to my mother, not sure what expression I'd see on her face, and told her that it was an LGBT event. Her reply: "Oh."

We walked around for about 45 minutes, got something to drink, listened to a woman sing Gladys Knight and the Pips' "Neither One of Us," which my parents enjoyed, and got some goodie bags.

On the way to the car, my mother asked my father if he was looking. There were tons of men in tight shorts and no shirts; women wearing short skirts and the occasional drag queen. And love was in the air - men kissing men, women holding the hand of their girlfriends, a butt grab, a back rub. You get the picture. No one in the crowd was shy.

My father said he wasn't looking. My mother said she was looking enough for the both of them. They laughed.

I think the festival was slight culture shock for my parents. There is a gay community in Memphis, but they don't frequent it. I thought it was good for my parents to see that the LGBT community is just like any other community - looking for friendship, companionship, acceptance and love.

What's the point of deodorant?

2008-08-20T13:27:00.004-04:00

I'm asking this in jest. I know exactly why we wear deodorant - so we won't stink.

But I forgot to put on deodorant this morning. There are no offensive smells yet because I haven't broken a sweat today. My office is cold and I'm hoping there won't be breaking news that will send me into the streets for hours on end to bake in the hot sun. If that happens, forgot it!

When I told my younger sister that I forgot to put on deodorant, she said that's like saying I forgot to brush my teeth.

But to me, it's not. I love to brush my teeth. I'm a serial brusher and flosser. My dentist told me that if I keep it up, I'll have my teeth for life. But I have to verbally remind myself to put on deodorant. When I get out of the shower, if I don't remember to take the Secret Platinum out of the drawer, there's a good chance, the powder fresh smell may not make it to my underarms. Some people put on deodorant right after bathing, but I wait until after I put on my clothes, so it won't smear on my shirt or dress.

Egyptians are credited with creating deodorant - or at least a substance to kill underarm smell. Armpits are consistently the warmest places on people's bodies. They used carob, incense and porridge. Mum, which resembles today's form of deodorant was created in 1888 by an unknown inventor from Philadelphia. Since then, deodorant has evolved and is combined with antiperspirants, which attempt to stop or significantly reduce perspiration.

With deodorants so readily available, everyone doesn't use them. Cultures and individuals differ in their beliefs about the need for deodorant, and on whether bodily odors are offensive. While I respect other's cultures, unless you're a baby or young child, you need to wear deodorant. And even some kids need deodorant.

So, hopefully, I will get through the day without sweating. And the point may be mute by tonight, but the first thing I'm going to do when I get home is to put on some deodorant!

The things we do for love

2008-08-18T13:23:00.004-04:00

I was on the New Jersey Turnpike at 4:15 this morning - not because I wanted to, but because I love my husband.

My husband's job requires him to travel about 30-40 percent of the time. Usually, the business trips are on the East Coast, so he drives his company car. But occasionally, he has a trip that requires him to fly. This time, it was Houston.

I was not a happy camper last night when he said "5:30," after I asked him what time his flight left.

"In the morning?" I questioned, already frowning my face.

"Yep. In the morning," he replied, knowing I don't like to roll over good before 9 a.m. (I have flexible work hours and usually get to the office around 10:30 a.m.)

"You couldn't have left today?" I asked.

"I could have, but the flight was twice as much and it had a layover. Going from Continental one hub to another Continental hub should not require a layover," he said.

I looked at him with my best version of puppy-dog eyes, tilted my head to the side and stuck out my bottom lip.

"I'll drive myself," he finally said.

"No, no. I'll take you. That's what a good wife does," I sarcastically said.

So, the alarm clock went off at 4 a.m. and we were out of the door by 4:15 a.m.

It was a quiet ride - there's not much to say at that insane hour.

We were at the airport by 4:45 a.m. and I was back at home and in bed by 5:15 a.m.

I love my husband, but next time, he's driving himself!

When image gets in the way of decency

2008-08-13T15:02:00.004-04:00

According to news reports, an estimated one billion people watched the 2008 Summer Olympic's opening ceremonies Friday evening when Lin Miaoke, 9, sang “Ode to the Motherland.”

She was charming and cute, in pigtails, a red dress and white shoes.

But it wasn't her voice that was heard around the world. Rather, it was Yang Peiyi, 7, who did the singing.

Yang, cute in a seven-year-old way, with crooked teeth and a short bob, was not as appealing as Lin, with bright eyes, long hair and surprisingly straight teeth for a youngster. And that's why she wasn't placed in the spotlight for the world to awe.

“The reason was for the national interest,” explained Chen Qigang, general music designer of the opening ceremonies, who revealed the deception during a radio interview. “The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feeling and expression.”

Lin didn't even know that it wasn't her voice. Her father noticed that she sounded differently, but blamed the acoustics.

Chinese lawmakers are so concerned with the way other countries perceive the economic powerhouse, that they favored beauty over talent. If it's not explained with kid gloves to Yang why she wasn't chosen to be in the spotlight, she could grow up feeling inadequate, not as pretty as the next girl and with low self-esteem.

Was China's image worth all of that? In my opinion, no.

The human race

2008-08-12T12:03:00.004-04:00

About three weeks ago, a young black man walked into a gas station in New Jersey, stole the money from the cash register and shot the attendant, who was Indian.

Around the same time, another young black man walked into a Chinese restaurant, which is across the street from the gas station, robbed the place at gunpoint and shot a worker, who was Chinese.

Sunday, more than 500 blacks marched through that neighborhood denouncing the violence. I was one of them. The march was organized by my church, which is in the same neighborhood as the businesses where the employees were shot. My pastor wanted to send a message that no matter what race, we all need to be concerned when violence affects our community.

We marched, in the drizzling rain, chanting "Stop the violence" and "enough is enough."

Our destination was the gas station, where we stood hand-in-hand and prayed for the victims. A family member of the gas station attendant spoke, saying that his cousin would never work again - the shooting paralyzed him. He said that more than one person was shot that day - six were. The attendant was working to take care of his parents, wife and two children.

Fortunately, the victim at the Chinese restaurant is recuperating at home.

As I marched, chanted and prayed tears welled up in my eyes. I thought of the victims and their families, how vulnerable we all are and how senseless violence is. While I was sad for the victims, it made my heart happy to see so many blacks supporting those of other races. Everyone's first race should be the human race.

"Have a good day, honey."

2008-08-11T09:45:00.004-04:00

That's what an attendant at the Exxon gas station says to me every time he fills my car. And every time he says it, it irks me.

I'm sure the young man, who looks no more than 22, means no harm, but to me, "honey" is a term of endearment meant to be used either by my husband or parents - not the random guy at the gas station.

This Exxon station is by my job. I noticed it about two months ago when I was out trolling for gas that was less than $4.45 a gallon for supreme. At the time, they were selling it for about $4.43 a gallon, so I pulled in.

The "honey guy" didn't wait on me that day, but the next time I filled up, he did the pumping. As he returned my debit card and handed me the receipt, he said, "Have a nice day, honey." I was taken aback. Should I be flattered? He was cute, after all. Or should I be offended? He didn't know me like that.

I was offended, but didn't dwell on it.

About a month passed before the "honey guy" filled up my car again, which was last week. I actually had forgotten about the incident until he said it again. "Have a nice day, honey," rolled off of his lips as easily as "hello" or "good-bye."

"OK, that's it", I thought, "The next time he fills my car and calls me 'honey,' I need to say something."

The next time was this morning.

I pulled into the station and saw him approaching my car. "If he doesn't say it, I won't say anything," I thought. But he said it.

As soon as the word "honey" left his lips, I said, "Hey, come back."

He turned around and I told him that I'm sure he doesn't mean anything by it, but I'm offended when he calls me "honey."

"Just remember my face and my car and please don't call me 'honey' anymore," I instructed.

He looked a little shocked and said "OK."

I told him to have a nice day and he said the same.

Just don't call me honey!

Airline now charging for sleep

2008-08-05T14:47:00.003-04:00

It started with food and drinks, then moved to checked baggage. Now, it's sleep.

Jet Blue recently announced that it will charge passengers $7 for a pillow and blanket. This is on top of the hundreds of dollars you will spend to get a ticket. Are times really this tight or are airlines taking advantage of the fact that once you board their planes, you're captive for a couple to 20 hours, so they can just charge you for anything?

These days, travelers are stuck between a rock and a hard place - with gas prices skyrocketing, it costs just as much to take a road trip as it does to purchase a plane ticket. Traveling by car used to be the cheaper option, but depending on how far you're going to get to grandma's house, it's not anymore.

So, you shell out $300 for a two-hour flight. Add $80 bucks if you're flying Northwest, which said it will tack on that amount beginning in January for a fuel surcharge. When you get to the airport, you realize your bag's too big to go in the overhead compartment. It will cost you extra to check it if you're flying American, United or US Airways.

Don't be thirsty when you board the plane, because US Airways also charges for water, yes, water, and other beverages.

And I'll just be cold and uncomfortable before I pay $7 for a pillow and blanket, even if it comes with a $5 coupon to Bed, Bath and Beyond that I may or may not use.

I love to travel, but airline surcharges are out of control. They know some people will always travel no matter how much the prices increase or what crazy item they're charging extra for, but the executives need to think from the travelers' point of view and stop this madness!

Nintendo DS divides a family

2008-07-30T10:51:00.005-04:00

My niece, Kendall, turns seven next month and the only thing she wants for her birthday is a Ninentendo DS.

This portable gaming system is about $150 and because of the high price tag, I asked my younger sister and parents if they want to purchase this gift together and it would be Kendall's one birthday gift. My younger sister said she's in. But my parents - specifically my mother - said absolutely not!

Her argument is that Kendall is just turning seven and it's way too much money to spend on such a young child. She accused me of spoiling Kendall by getting her what she wants no matter the price and referred to the $175 telescope she got for her birthday last year. Kendall's really into astronomy and I thought it was important to support her interest. She could be a future astronaut, for crying out loud! My mother also said I'm setting Kendall up to believe that she should get whatever she asks for.

My argument is that Kendall is a good girl; makes good grades and it's the only thing she's been asking for for months. She started talking about her birthday about three months ago! Yeah, it's pricey, but that's the going rate for game systems and that's what kids are into and have been into for years. I had an Atari 2600 when I was just one year older than Kendall. I have no idea how much it cost, but my parents bought it for me because it was hot and I wanted it. Kendall's no different from me at that age.

I talked with my older sister, Kendall's mother, about the DS. She said she doesn't have a problem with me purchasing the system for Kendall. That's all the go-ahead I need.

My husband and I don't have kids, so we feel it's OK to spend money on our nieces and nephews, to even spoil them. Isn't that what aunts and uncles are for anyway?

Kendall will be alright if she doesn't get the DS; her world won't come to end. But with the DS, her birthday will be even sweeter. And if I can have a part in putting a cute crooked smiled on my niece's face, then point me in the direction of the game.

What do you think? Is $150 too much to spend on a gaming system for a seven-year-old?

Are you registered to vote?

2008-07-28T11:31:00.005-04:00

I worked my first voter-registration drive Saturday.

I did a four-hour shift at an outlet mall in Elizabeth, NJ. It was the perfect place for a drive because there was a ton of foot traffic.

In four hours, I registered 23 people!

It felt good to have a hand in making sure people register to vote. A large majority of people who passed my table said they were already registered, which was good. I registered a 17-year-old who's birthday is today. As long as you're going to be 18 by November, you can register. It was my gift to him. I also registered several 20- and 30-somethings who had never registered because they weren't interested in voting until now.

There was only one woman, who was eligible to register (there were a lot of immigrants in the mall) who I couldn't convince to sign up to vote. She said her vote didn't count and that the government was going to put in office who it wanted there. She referenced Bush and how he lost the popular vote in 2000, but he ended up as president anyway. I told her that she was giving away her power by not voting, that this time could be different, but she didn't want to hear it.

Registering people to vote is only half the battle. There are so many folks who are registered who don't vote. If I could personally walk those 23 people I registered to the polls Nov. 4, I would. I hope the excitement of voting the first time doesn't wear off by this fall and the new registrants exercise their rights.

My next drive is Friday evening at a local grocery store. Hopefully, I'll have just as much luck.

Make sure you're registered to vote! And then, VOTE!

"Black in America" disappoints

2008-07-24T15:23:00.005-04:00

I watched CNN's Black in America last night and was ready to turn in my black card when it was over.

Reporter Soledad O'Brien spent two hours highlighting just about negative aspect of the black community. It was basically a report on how blacks have failed. When it was over, I said out loud, to myself, "Is this all that black people have amounted to?"

As a member of the media and a minority, I try to always be cognizant of the way blacks are portrayed in the newspapers and on television. People always say reporters find the most ignorant blacks to put on television or quote in the papers. Yes, there are unintelligent blacks in the news all the time, but in my experience, those are the ones usually willing to talk. I feel safe writing that in the majority of cases, reporters just want to get the quote and head back to the newsroom. So, if the woman with the Marlboro Light hanging from her mouth, wearing a robe at 3 p.m. with a head full of rollers is at the scene talking, I'm writing and broadcast reporters are filming.

I say all that to say getting quotes from uneducated people in a breaking-news situation is different from what O'Brien did in her special, where she used a feature format to only focus on the negative. She had time to find someone or something positive. With breaking news, it happens fast and a reporter's main goal is to get the story fast.

Instead, she reported that blacks are uneducated. Blacks live in poverty. Black women can't find a good black man. One in 20 black women in D.C. have AIDS. Blacks don't have insurance, so they have to use emergency rooms. And so on.

Most of this information is already widely known in the black community, so I'm not sure what O'Brien wants us to do with it. There was no commentary on solutions to get ahead. And no mention of Democratic Presidental Candidate Barack Obama other than the section on biracial Americans.

In giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe O'Brien hopes the documentary begins a conversation. Maybe she wanted to show the black community their problems all at once so we will start thinking about solutions.

Even with last night's special being a downer, I'm going to watch tonight's on the black man. I can only imagine how O'Brien will show my brothers.

Reality show is full of irony

2008-07-23T09:56:00.003-04:00

I couldn't sleep last night, so I ended up watching "Tori and Dean Home Sweet Home Hollywood," the reality show based on Tori Spelling's life. It's not a show I tune into every Tuesday, but I've seen it before.

During last night's episode, Tori and Dean, who on the show are expecting their second child, but in real life, have had this baby, were registering for their baby shower. The paparazzi were everywhere outside of the store trying to get a picture of the couple looking at baby items. It started with about five, then grew to 10 and finally, to 40, which is ridiculous.

But what's even more ridiculous was Tori's comment when Dean announced there were about 40 photographers outside: "We're trying to have an intimate moment."

What? Does she realize that her life is being filmed for a weekly TV show? And that everything about her life ceased to be intimate when she signed the contract with Oxygen? There are no intimate or private moments left, Tori.

I actually laughed out loud when those words came out of her mouth. So, it's OK that the Oxygen camera crew follows her into the store while she's looking at bibs and bathtubs, for ultimately the world to see, but she gets upset when someone, even 40 someones, want to take her picture. It doesn't make sense to me.

I'm not a fan of the paparazzi when they're hounding someone famous who wants their privacy. There's no need to take a picture of an actor at the grocery store; they have to eat, too. But when your life is knowingly being recorded for TV, the paparazzi should have free reign.

Loaf of bread stands the test of time

2008-07-22T13:21:00.006-04:00

My husband and I have been eating off of the same loaf of bread for four months and it hasn't molded.

If you've read my blog before, you'd know that we haven't been in a cooking mood lately, which means we haven't really been going grocery shopping. Instead, we're on a first-name basis with the take-out guy.

The expiration date on this Arnold's 12 Grain wheat bread is April 9. My husband noticed it Sunday as we were making egg sandwiches - we do have eggs in the frig and opted to cook that morning rather than go to Sunday brunch. As he was grabbing the loaf of bread, I mentioned that I didn't remember the last time I bought bread. He glanced at the expiration date and frowned.

"What's the date?" I asked.

"You don't want to know," was his reply.

I love feeling like I've beaten the odds when I eat something past the expiration date that hasn't molded. So what if that yogurt has a June date on it, if it doesn't smell, I'll eat it.

I asked my husband again, and he said, "April 9."

Wow! True victory!

"I'm blogging about this," I said, feeling supremely satisfied that we'd got our monies worth.

I don't know what the folks at Arnold's are putting in their bread, but it amazes me that this loaf is still soft, tasty and and free of anything fuzzy. According to the website, it's made of "The finest wholesome ingredients like cracked wheat, sunflower seeds, oats, barley, brown rice and molasses create a delicious, hearty taste in each slice."

Arnold's will be my bread of choice from now on. We have about four slices left, so maybe by September, it will be time to purchase another loaf.

Bigger isn't always better

2008-07-18T15:14:00.008-04:00

My husband and I are going house hunting this weekend.

We've been toying with the idea of ditching the suburbs to be closer to New York City. I would love to move to "the city," what folks who live in the Jersey suburbs call NYC, but my husband enjoys a more relaxed, less crowded environment. So, we compromised: If we can't live in the city, let's at least live close to the city. Right now, we're about a 45-minute train ride from NYC. We'll be looking in the Jersey City/Hoboken area, which is about 10 minutes outside of the city. And both are easily accessible to the city by the train and ferry.

We have a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house now. It's about 2,600 square feet if you include the full, finished basement. Unless we get lucky and find a steal, we'll be downsizing to a two-bedroom condo. For the sake of our sanity, we'll need at least 1,500 square feet and a garage for my husband's new motorcycle. And because the area is right outside of New York, we'll be paying twice as much for about half the room.

In a era when bigger means better, some have asked why we're downsizing. It's just the two of us now. We don't need our backyard; hardly ever use our deck; never use the fully-furnished office and only use the guest bedroom when someone is visiting. For us, right now, it's too much space.

And some say we're foolish to pay more for less, but I say you pay for what you get! I love the appeal of the city - bright lights, big city! My eyes light up whenever I see the New York skyline on TV. I love the culture, the food, the eclectic people. There's nothing like it. There's a vibe about New York that's unmatchable.

It took seven months and about 60 houses before we could agree on the house we finally purchased. There was so much overpriced crap for sale four years ago, that we had to wade through the sludge to find something in our price range that didn't need a major overhaul. I'm hoping the process the second time around won't be so painful.

The housing slump will be a double-edge sword for us: Sellers are desperate, so they will hopefully be flexible. But this time around, we're sellers, too, and will want the best price for our home. But fortunately, we don't have to move. If our house doesn't sell, we'll just take it off the market until the economy is better. New York City will always be there, waiting for us to move closer to reap its benefits.

Objects of desire

2008-07-17T16:13:00.007-04:00

Have you ever looked at the wanted section on craiglist? There's some crazy stuff on there. It's amazing what people are looking for.

If you're not familiar with the site, it's like an online garage sale. People post items they want to sell, including real estate and cars, but they also list items they want. All major cities and most smaller cities have pages on craigslist.

I had some extra time at work today and thought I'd checked out the wanted sections for New York City, Hattisburg, Miss., Odgen-Clearfield, Utah and the San Fransisco Bay area. Other than NYC, which is my default page for craigslist, I chose random places to see if the smaller the area, the more weird the wanted items became, only to find out that there are quirky needs everywhere.

The most strange - and creepy - was a man in Hattisburg looking for an "attractive house wife."

Here's his plea: "Single Father of 10 Year Old son seeks a Female House Mate. Must be willing to relocate to Mobile. Should you have children of your own that is fine with us. Please have a picture and be willing to exchange on the first email. I do not want to waste your time, or you waste mine. This ad is for real. Jim."

I kind of feel sorry for Jim.

A man in NYC is willing to pay $100 a month for a space to park his 2007 Audi he hardly drives. If you've ever tried to park in the Big Apple, you understand his pain. It's already hard to find a spot to park in NYC, and once you do, on most streets, you have to move your car - at the crack of dawn - to the other side for street so it can be cleaned - the street, not your car. Here's a photo of the cars in action.

Also, in NYC, someone's willing to pay you $1 if you have a box for a 32-inch TV and someone's looking for 50,000 people to send him $1 each. Here's the address if you want to pledge: P.O. Box 48, Douglas, Mich. 49406.

If you have a trampoline net, you can get $1 for it and $9 for a fixer-upper car.

Other odd wanted items in NYC include a jazzercize T-shirt, Legos and a massage partner. I can only imagine what that's for!

Heading south to Mississippi, someone's looking for funny stories about people getting high. Huh? And then there's the ad for people willing to sell their hair. The woman who placed the ad said she's setting up a website for "serious" people interested in buying human hair. She's willing to pay $5 for your locks.

In Utah, someone's looking for scratch-n-sniff stickers, hold on, from the 1970s and 1980s. Gotta love the specifics! And a couple posted their engagement picture on craigslist asking for someone to marry them. You guessed it, they're broke and want the service for free.

In San Fransisco, a low-income, disabled woman wants $2,000 to take a massage class; another person wants fresh fish. What? And yet another needs "all kinds of balls."

If you have a Dublin High School class ring from 1974-77, someone in the Bay area's looking for one and a shoe shopper needs a Nordstroms' discount. Don't we all!

Funny, I didn't see any postings for world peace.

New Yorker cover goes too far

2008-07-15T12:57:00.004-04:00

The editors said it's satire and they were making fun of the rumors that Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama is Muslim.

Satire, mocking rumors or not, the New Yorker's cover of Obama and his wife, Michelle, depicted as terrorists, is insensitive and goes too far.

I'm not a subscriber to the New Yorker, but if I were, I could cancel my subscription. Call me sensitive, but I'm highly offended. The editors are feeding into the rumors and someone may look at that cover and truly believe that the Obamas are Muslims, when they are actually Christians.

Obama spokesman Bill Burton said, "The New Yorker may think...that their cover is a satirical lampoon of the caricature of Senator Obama's right-wing critics have tried to create. But most readers will see it as tasteless and offensive. And we agree."

The New York explains that the cover "combines a number of fantastical images about the Obamas and shows them for the obvious distortions they are."

In the magazine that hit newsstands Monday, the cover also shows the couple standing in the Oval Office bumping fists, which they made mainstream to white America, and burning the American flag in the fireplace.

The only thing right about the cover is that the Obamas are in the White House.

How young is too young to get an email address?

2008-07-14T13:22:00.004-04:00

My six-year-old niece, Kendall, has a Gmail account.

I'm not sure how I feel about this: On one hand, I think she's too young to have an email account because it symbolizes how fast she's growing up. But on the other, she is growing up and getting an email address is just a part of life.

Kendall, who will be seven next month, just got the account yesterday. My younger sister, who is not Kendall's mother, set it up after Kendall told her a child's website was asking for her email address. My niece didn't even know what an email address was before yesterday.

I couldn't find any data about six-year-olds with email addresses, but according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, which tracks Internet use, 87 percent of 12-17-year-olds have an email account. That percentage is higher than any age group up to 90-year-olds. And there are websites out there just for kids who want email addresses. A popular one is Kids Online (KOL), which is AOL for kids.

I don't want my niece to grow up too fast, but at the same time I don't want her to get left behind the technology boom. Technology is everywhere - cell phones with Internet capability and cameras; GPS devices, cars that park themselves. Everything is quick and convenient these days.

It shouldn't amaze me that Kendall knows how to use a computer, but it does. She's been using them at school for a couple of years now and uses her parents' at home. She knows how to turn it on and type in a handful of web addresses - all kid friendly, of course.

She's also into texting, which blows my mind. When I saw her over the July 4th weekend, she grabbed my BlackBerry Curve and asked if she could send a text. We sent one to my younger sister, who was in route to Memphis for the holiday weekend. "This is Kendall," she texted. "Hurry up and get here :)." Her little fingers slowly finding the letters on the keyboard made me laugh. She certainly wouldn't win a texting contest.

Even though I'm on the fence about Kendall having an email address, I'm looking forward to my first email from her. We recently became pen pals after she complained that mommy and daddy get mail everyday and she doesn't. We've been writing each other letters every week since May. I look forward to getting the short notes written in second-grade handwriting with a drawing that always made me smile.

Maybe that's what's bothering me: I'm afraid Kendall will stop writing letters and only send emails. Emails can be impersonal. No penmanship. No drawings. And if she eventually reverts to only emails, I will miss running my hand over the heart or animal she drew just for me. I won't have anything to hang on my frig.

Hopefully, I can have it both ways - occasionally, we'll send an email, but the weekly letters will continue for life.

A funny thing happened on the way to the kitchen

2008-07-11T14:30:00.004-04:00

My husband and I remodeled our kitchen early spring. When we bought the house more than four years ago, the first thing we wanted to renovate was the kitchen. At the time, the house was 23 years old, and I imagine the kitchen hadn't been updated during those two decades. But after plopping down all of our available cash for the down payment and closing costs, little was left for a kitchen remodel.

So, we painted the dark oak-colored cabinets cream to brighten the space, painted the cream walls khaki and my lovely father came from Memphis to rip out the vinyl floor and lay ceramic tile. Back then, that's all we could afford - a can of paint and some free labor!

But four years later, after painting nearly every room in our three-bedroom house, installing decorative baseboard and transforming a half bath/laundry room to a spa-like full bath, we were ready to tackle the kitchen.

Everyone says when company's over they congregate in the kitchen, and it's true. We love to entertain, and even in the ugliest kitchens, people still gather there. We couldn't wait to have a designer space to showcase. And we also love to cook. I record shows on the Food Network. And my husband likes to experiment with recipes. He'll just go to grocery store, buy a bunch of random ingredients and create a meal. Before the remodel, we were alternating weeks cooking with the understanding that if it's your week to cook, the other would do the dishes, which was big, considering we didn't have a dishwasher.

But since the new kitchen, which has contemporary cherry-wood cabinets stained mahogany, (some with glass fronts) staggered throughout the space for effect, and stainless steel appliances, including a dishwasher (yea!), there's been no interest in using our kitchen.

The kitchen was completed the second week of May and since then, we've probably turned on the stove five times and the oven even less than that. The new cafe table's been used once. For two people who love to cook and were dreaming about a new kitchen for four years, we don't know how to act now that we have one.

Jesse Jackson's comments make me question his reverendship

2008-07-10T14:34:00.004-04:00

From now on, the Rev. Jesse Jackson will just be Jesse Jackson to me. No title needed.

After his unChristian-like comments about what he'd like to do to Sen. Barack Obama, I'm questioning Jackson's walk with God.

Jackson, after an interview on FOXNews, thought the microphones were off when he said to Reed Tuckson of the UnitedHealth Group that the Democratic presidential candidate's been talking down to blacks on the faith-based issues. Then Jackson said, "I want to cut his nuts off."

Is Jackson's hatred for Obama really so strong that he wants to mutilate him? Some may argue that Jackson's comments were just an expression, but what would move a supposed reverend to use such wrathful words?

Jackson apologized to Obama. But was Jackson sorry for his crassness or that he got caught? And even if Jackson truly wants to cut off Obama's privates, why would he say that with a mic pinned to his lapel? Jackson should be media savvy enough to know that just because the producer says you're not on the air, that unless you're out of the building, there's still a chance you could be heard by the public.

Jackson not only embarrassed himself, but his son, who publically chastised his father, using the senior's words against him. Jackson Jr. told his father to leave Obama alone and "keep hope alive."

Some politicos said that Jackson is jealous of Obama's success. Jackson ran an unsuccessful bid for president in 1988. Jackson may also feel left out because Obama hasn't asked Jackson, who endorsed the senator, to take a role in his campaign.

Whether Jackson is feeling slighted or not, there was no need for his comments. Hopefully Jackson's learned a simple lesson from his faux paux: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Carbon footprint leaves me feeling like Big Foot

2008-07-08T10:54:00.004-04:00

I wear a size 6 shoe, but that has nothing to do with my carbon footprint, which is 22.95 tonnes.

I calculated my carbon footprint this morning to see what kind of impact I'm having on the environment, and it's bad. The average U.S. carbon footprint is 20.4 tonnes; it's 11 for the average industrial nation and 4 tonnes worldwide.

The website, carbonfootprint.com, takes how much energy you use at home, in your ride, the number of flights you take per year and whether you take the bus or train, and combine that with if you eat meat or organic foods, buy second-hand clothes and how often you remodel you home, to determine your effect on the environment.

The website also gives you tips on how to reduce your carbon footprint.

I try to be conscious of the environment: I use reusable bags at the grocery store and recycle plastics, aluminum and cardboard. But according to the website, I'm not doing enough. I need to be more cognizant of what I eat and where it comes from. I need to buy foods and products with very little packaging. I need to turn off the lights when I leave the room; unplug appliances and electronics when they're not in use and maybe open a window, rather than turning on the air. These are all easy changes that I am going to try to incorporate in my life. It's a win-win. I will save money and help the environment at the same time.

What's your carbon footprint?

My first pedicure

2008-07-07T11:31:00.005-04:00

I'm 33 years old and I got my first pedicure Saturday.

I've always thought pedicures (and manicures) were a waste of money because my toes have always looked cute after I've painted them. People compliment me on my toes and they ask where I get my pedicures. There's a look of shock when I tell them I painted my toes myself.

It's not that I was never exposed to pedicures. My mother has a standing appointment at the nail shop every other week. Every birthday, anniversary and mother's day, she asks for gift certificates to get her toes done. My younger sister gets her toes professionally painted almost as much as my mother.

Friday night, my younger sister announced she was getting a pedicure Saturday and asked me if I wanted to go. I thought about it and agreed, thinking I would finally see why people pay $35 plus tip for this service.

We arrived at the nail shop, took off our shoes and soaked our feet in warm bubbling water. The lady removed my existing toenail polish and began to rub my feet. She scrubbed the bottoms to make them smooth and used a sugar scrub on my legs to shine my skin, all this while I was sitting in a vibrating chair. The woman quickly painted my toenails - a clear coat, two color coats and a top coat - without letting the layers dry. The entire experience lasted about a half hour.

I glanced at my toes and thought, "It looks the same as if I had painted them. Forty bucks wasted."

When I paint my toes, there's no warm water, sugar scrub or vibrating chair, but it doesn't cost $40, either. I buy the same $8 bottle of polish the professionals use and get my monies worth by doing my toes myself.

I try to look at everything as a learning experience - from this I learned I never need to pay a professional to paint my toes again. They look just as good when I do them.

Club patrons make noisy neighbors. Duh!

2008-07-02T15:35:00.004-04:00

Residents of the Broadway Hollywood building filed a lawsuit yesterday against the owners of the S Club, claiming the club-goers are too loud and residents of the luxury condo building can't get to sleep before 2 a.m.

The residents' complaints would be legitimate, if the condos weren't on top of the Los Angeles club! If you buy a place on top of a nightclub, you can't expect the building to be quiet. Thumping music, intoxicated people falling out of the club at all hours of the night and horns honking goes with the territory. You don't live in the suburbs. You live on top of a popular club.

In the lawsuit, filed in L.A.'s Superior Court, residents said the S club is operated in an "unreasonably and unacceptably disruptive manner," according to TMZ. The residents are complaining about the loud music and have accused the club operators of ignoring their concerns, while raking in "huge profits."

That's what they're supposed to do - make money. What are the operators expected to tell their patrons?

Club bouncer (holding his index finger to his lips): "Welcome to the S Club. Come on in, but use your library voices."

Club bartender: "Here's your martini. Your limit is one because drunks get too rowdy."

Club DJ: "Here are your complimentary earbuds. Sorry, this is the only way to enjoy the music."

I'm sure the folks who bought condos in the Broadway Hollywood paid a pretty penny. The website doesn't even list the prices. If you have to ask, you can't afford it. While the residents were shelling out all kinds of money to live in a trendy building, they should have thought twice about the consequences of buying in a place where you share an address with a nightclub. It's too late to complain now!

I'll drink to that

2008-07-01T15:55:00.004-04:00

Over the last 10 months, my husband and I have been making wine.

We did this legally. There's no need to insert a moonshine or Tennessee (my home state) joke here.

We made 30 bottles of Riesling and 30 bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon. The Riesling is for me - I'm a fan of white wine and I love sweet wine, but I'll share with my husband, who favors red.

We took the wine-making class at The Grape Escape in South Brunswick, in central New Jersey. It was a four-session process that started last March. In the first session, we had the option to stomp the grapes, but decided to run them through a machine that squeezed the juice into one container and spit the seeds and stems in another. I'm not sure how many people would want to drink wine that I stomped - no matter how cute my feet are.

In the second session, which happens about a week later, we extracted the wine from the "musts" or skins and poured the wine into oak barrels. We also sweetened some of the whites with regular white sugar that you have at home, which was a surprise. I thought we would have used a special sugar.

During the third session, we racked the wine and removed the "lees" or sediment. And the last session, which was Saturday for the Riesling, was bottling and labeling the wine. We bottle the Cab at the end of this month.

My husband and I designed our labels - "Haute Vineyards" with a wine cave in the background for the Riesling. "Drink with Style" is at the bottom of the label. And "Lazy Sundays" with a wine glass on fire for the Cabernet Sauvignon. "Just drink it because we made it" is at the bottom of my husband's label.

We can't drink the Riesling for at least three months and it must stay upright during that time. And we can't drink the Cabernet for about six months.

We enjoy a nice glass of wine and went on a wine-tasting tour in Cape Town, South Africa, when were there in October for our third anniversary. We learned the proper way to swirl the glass, sniff the wine and identify the fruits used to make the spirits. It was fun and we've toyed with the idea of starting a wine club. In the meantime, we'll have 60 bottles of wine to drink. Thank goodness, wine makes a good gift!

The power of ownership

2008-06-30T17:00:00.005-04:00

I bought a 2008 BMW 328i Saturday after I spent the last three years leasing a BMW 330i.

Since my 7th grade algebra teacher told me that I would spend more money leasing than buying a car, I've never been a fan of leasing vehicles. And the 330i was the first car I ever leased.

For the last five years, I'd been dreaming of driving a BMW. I've admired their sleekness, the performance and, I admit, the looks I'd get stepping out of such an expensive car.

Before the lease in July 2006, I had been driving a 1999 Mitsubishi Mirage. It was a piece of crap that I drove for six years. My only consolation was that it was paid for, but it was such an embarrassment. The driver's side mirror was missing. The passenger door wouldn't open, so anytime someone rode with me, they either sat in the back, which made my look like "Driving Miss Daisy," or they crawled over the driver's seat. And you would hear me coming before I arrived.

I hated that car!

I knew my next car would be a BMW. I started saving for one in 2005 and was praying the Mirage would last until 2007. But the MitsuBITCHI, which is what I nicknamed it, had other plans. In July 2006, I was headed to an assignment for work and the engine fell out of the car! I was on Interstate 287 flying - ok, I was going about 65 mph, which is as fast as the car would go without having a vehicle seizure - and the engine hit the pavement! I can laugh about it now, but then, I didn't know what I was going to do for a ride.

I was nervous, because I ended up in the Mirage after I totalled my Chevrolet Cavalier, my first car. I hit a drunk driver after he ran a red light. I was in no mood to purchase a car and had no idea what I wanted. Somehow, I ended up in the Mirage.

So, there I was, faced with getting another car when I wasn't ready. The only thing I knew was I didn't want to end up in car that I would hate as soon as I drove it off of the lot.

BMWs are expensive and my salesman told me that most people who are driving them are leasing them. I didn't want to lease the 330i, but I wanted a car I'd be happy with and my mind had been wrapped around a BMW for at least two years. So, I broke down and signed the lease. Three years and $18,720 later, I gave back the car. What a waste of money!

So, when I picked up my new BMW Saturday, I walked in with a substantial down payment - I started saving the day I signed the lease for the first BMW because I knew I was never going to lease another car again.

In five years, it will truly be mine!

Grim reaper haunts newsrooms

2008-06-27T14:51:00.004-04:00

Where do you get your news?

If you're under 35, more than likely, it's from a website, not your daily newspaper subscription. And because of that, newspapers are struggling to survive. Circulation is down; layoffs are rampant and future of the newspaper business is as bleak as President Bush leaving the White House with a favorable approval rating.

While I've known these facts for a couple of years, the following job listing, found on craigslist, was a peek into what could be the future for journalists:

"A dynamic, entrepreneurial for-profit college in Northwest DC is looking for an experienced copy writer and desktop publisher to lead aspects of both internal and external written communications.

The only catch?

While you are writing copy you will also fill the role of security guard, working 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday.

But fear not: We will buy your uniform. You won't carry a gun."

At first, I laughed, but then reality set in, and I said to myself "This can't be the future of journalism!" Being able to multi-task is a great quality, but my ideal of multi-tasking is working on more than one story at a time, not manning the security booth while I'm editing copy.

The folks in the glass offices in newsrooms have to be more creative in getting people to read their product. Local newspaper websites must compete with CNN, MSNBC and even sites like E!Online, since celebrities are constantly in the news.

I hope the day doesn't come when the hand-held newspaper is completely replaced by a hand-held electronic device, but if industry leaders don't figure out a way to generate readership that day may be closer than we think.

My husband's joined a motorcycle gang!

2008-06-26T22:11:00.004-04:00

OK, that's an exaggeration, but he purchased a Suzuki Boulevard M109R today. I've known since before we were married that he's wanted a motorcycle, but I've never been comfortable with his desire.

And I have good reason.

I think motorcycles are generally safe - if you're riding in a vacant parking lot - but once you head into traffic on a major street or interstate, I get nervous.

About a year into my first reporting position in Tennessee at The Jackson Sun, I covered a motorcycle v. car accident. I arrived at the scene before the emergency workers could move the motorcyclist into the ambulance. What I saw has been imprinted in my mind since: The motorcyclist lay on the ground, legs twisted with tendons hanging where his knees should have been. It was a horrible scene and a wake-up call that if a motorcyclist is hit by a car, there's little chance for survival.

My husband is an intelligent man. He's thoughtful in the true sense of the word - actually thinking things out. But once he started seriously looking at bikes about two weeks ago, he's been anxious to get one. He got a permit, signed up a driver's ed class and a week later, purchased a bike!

It's crazy that all you need is a permit to drive a motorcycle off of the lot, when you need a full license to leave a car dealership in a new car. Motorcycle dealers are putting beginner drivers at risk.

I knew he was going to eventually buy a bike - he was taking all the right steps. That is, until he got the bike before completing the driving class, which is in August. As we stood in our driveway tonight, him looking overwhelmed and me looking nervous, I told him he put the cart before the horse.

He said "yeah, sort of." And I replied, "no, 100 percent."

In a job where you're constantly faced with and writing about fatal accidents, you tend to think the worse about situations. I'm trying to stay positive, but the reality is that my husband is a very inexperienced driver and the throttle on this bike is nothing to play with. That combination makes me think something bad is bound to happen.

I know he will eventually become an ace behind those handlebars, but until that happens, whenever I see "motorcyclist down," on the newsroom's breaking news police pager, my heart will skip a beat.

The white comedians were right: Some black folks just don't know how to act in the movies!

2008-06-23T11:26:00.006-04:00

My husband and I hardly ever go to the movies at night. Why pay full price when you can see the same movie for $3 cheaper during the day? But we decided, at the last minute Saturday night, to see "The Happening." The movie was good, but going at night was a huge mistake.

We got to the theater early and settled into our seats, which were about five rows from the top. During the previews, a group of teens - black teens - came in and sat in the row right behind us. I turned to my husband, rolled my eyes and silently said a prayer that they wouldn't be embarrassing.

They immediately started talking. I thought "I hope they settle down once the movie starts." But their behavior became worse with the start of the movie. They were talking to the screen like the actors could hear them. Cell phones were ringing and the kids not only answered them, but proceeded to have conversations:

Ghetto kid in the theater: "Hey girl, what's up?...No, just at the movies...Yeah, he's here, too...I'm not sure what we're doing after...laughter...more laughter...OK, bye."

What? Did you seriously just have a conversation in the movie theater?! The nerve!

There were about 10 kids in their group and for some reason, the girl on the very right end thought it was OK to have a conversation with boy on the very left end - and she wasn't texting!

People - not just my husband and I - were ssshhing the kids, but they ignored us and continued to talk.

At one point, I turned around and asked, "Do you have to be a stereotype?" That quieted them down for about five minutes, but then, they just started right up again.

About 15 minutes later, my husband turned around and said, "Can you f*cking whisper or something?"

I knew he was heated because my husband doesn't curse.

As the kids continued to talk, all I could do was shake my head in shame. What type of upbringing - or lack of - did these kids have that makes them think it's OK to ruin everyone's evening at the movies? Why wouldn't they just leave? It's no wonder some people think blacks are ignorant - because ignorant is all some blacks know how to be.

I'm sure some white, Asian, Indian and Hispanic teens act just as ghetto at the movies, but it was black teens who we encountered Saturday night.

Next time, we'll go to a matinee.

Writer's note: We were in the suburbs, where you would think people would know how to act!

Pregnancy pact shows lack of judgement

2008-06-20T14:59:00.008-04:00

A group of 17 girls, who attend Glouscester High School in Massachusetts, are all expecting babies. At least half of the girls, none older than 16, had a pregnancy pact so they could raise their kids together.

This is the craziest mess I've heard in a very long time!

Why would anyone want to be a teenage, unwed mother? These girls obviously don't understand how hard and expensive it is to raise kids. And they clearly don't realize that their silly pact has changed the course of their lives forever. Will they graduate from high school? Go off to college? Leave Gloucester to experience life somewhere else? Probably not, unless their parents take full responsibility in raising these babies. Every decision they make from now on will depend on those babies.

A Glouscester student, Amanda Ireland, who graduated June 8, got pregnant her freshman year. She told a Time Magazine reporter that some of the girls in the pact made comments to her about how lucky she is to have someone to unconditionally love her. Ireland believes that's why the girls vowed to get pregnant.

Um, get a dog. Don't have a baby just because you want someone to love you!

I feel sorry these girls felt so unloved that they wanted to have babies when they're just babies themselves. I can't imagine what that feels like - I was raised in a home with two supportive parents. I wished these girls would have talked with a counselor, older sister or aunt before intentionally getting pregnant. This was a plan with no planning.

And what about the boys? Of course, most of the responsibility will fall on the mothers, but the fathers' lives will also be forever changed. While the mothers may be sitting at home, the boys can move on with their lives - after graduation they can head to college and eventually get a good job. But they will be paying - literally - for their mistakes for the next 18 years. Sadly, one of the fathers is a homeless 24-year-old.

The school board in this fishing town is considering making contraceptives available to students, but that won't stop the girls who want to get pregnant.

I wish nothing but the best for these 17 girls, but they're about the learn a very hard lesson: At 4 a.m. when that baby, who unconditionally loves her, is crying and the young mother can't figure out why, the mother will probably be regretting the pregnancy pact.

The Beauty of Diversity

2008-06-19T13:55:00.003-04:00

The July issue of Italian Vogue will feature 100 pages of black models photographed by Steven Miesel. And all of the feature stories will be related to black women in arts and entertainment. The issue goes on newsstands next Thursday and will be available in the states soon after.

It's about time!

For years, beautiful black models have been ignored because, according to an industry insider, the designer already has their black girl or because advertisers don't want to alienate potential customers.

Italian Vogue Editor Franca Sozzani said she has been intrigued by Barack Obama, the first black Democratic presidential candidate. She also told The New York Times that she is aware of the lack of diversity on runways.

I applaud Sozzani for being gutsy. She could have easily turned down Miesel's request for the "all black" issue because her bottom line may have been affected. But Sozzani, who has a reputation for being controversial, sees the beauty in diversity and recognizes that beautiful is beautiful.

I hope Miesel's idea isn't a one-time deal. And I hope his openness to see beauty in all races rubs off on his colleagues. While future magazine issues don't have to be "all black," photographers and editors need to pepper every issue with all types of beauties, not just the ones with blue eyes and blond hair.

How do you measure up?

2008-06-18T22:26:00.004-04:00

In an age where there's a fast food restaurant on every corner, portion sizes have more than doubled and gym memberships are down, there's no wonder Americans are fat.

According to the Center for Disease Control, six out of 10 Americans are overweight, with more than one in four being obese.

Americans should look to the Japanese to slim down.

Two months ago, Japanese lawmakers made it mandatory for employers to measure the waistlines of their employees who are 40 to 74 years old. Men must not be larger than 33.5 inches and women 35.4 inches. Those with expanding waistlines have three months to lose weight or be subjected to health education. If folks haven't lost the weight after six months, their employers could be fined.

Lawmakers told The New York Times that their healthcare costs have ballooned and this is a way to decrease expenses.

What Japan is doing is a little extreme, but something needs to be done in America, where the average white male waistline is 39 inches and white female is 34.6, according to a survey by the National Center for Health Statistics.

I struggle with my weight with the best of them. I try to watch what I eat and exercise, but sometimes I just want that second piece of chocolate cake - and I have it! I cannot imagine having to report my waist size to my boss.

It shouldn't be up to my employer to make sure I stay trim, but then again, they are the ones footing my healthcare bills. My employer offers Weight Watchers classes in house. And for those who lose anything over five pounds, my employer will reimburse them half the cost of the weekly meetings.

Employers may not need to measure your waistline, but there should be programs in place to encourage overweight employees to slim down.

Baby Mama Drama!

2008-06-17T12:00:00.002-04:00

baby mama: noun. [bey-bee mah-muh] The mother of your child(ren), whom you did not marry and with whom you are not currently involved.

Michelle Obama, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, has been the recent target of a few snide remarks by the Republican camp. That's not the issue. She's fair game. She's in the spotlight because of her husband and everything she does will be subjected to criticism.

However, when FOX news reported on those comments, the story was teased "Outraged Liberals: Stop Picking on Obama's Baby Mama." http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2008-06-12-image002.jpg

Mrs. Obama is not a baby's mama.

Maybe FOX news thought it was cute because the Obamas are black and that phrase, which is common place today, originated in the black community.

Maybe FOX news thought it was a good way to reach black viewers by using slang.

FOX news needs to think again.

It was an insult and disrespectful to their union. Mrs. Obama has been married to Mr. Obama for 16 years. She's the mother of his children, not his baby's mama.

After shoving their feet in their mouths at FOX news, the vice president of programming said the "baby mama" description was bad judgement.

"A producer on the program exercised poor judgment in using this chyron during the segment," said Fox's Senior Vice President of Programming Bill Shine.

I hope FOX news learned a lesson: We're watching!

A tale of a wedding crasher

2008-06-16T14:06:00.004-04:00

I crashed a wedding Saturday!

OK, crashed is a little strong - I went to a wedding that I wasn't invited to and didn't know the bride or groom. I was assisting the wedding coordinator.

Since I said "I do" nearly four years ago, I've been obsessed with weddings - from planning to attending them. I became so absorbed with planning my wedding that the day after, I saw the hotel wedding coordinator, who worked with me, showing the ballroom to another bride and immediately became green with envy. For six months, my life was nothing but planning our wedding that I didn't know what to do with myself after I got married. I officially had post-wedding-planning depression.

A couple of months ago, I took a wedding-planning course, in hopes of finding out if I had what it took to become a wedding planner. The teacher, who has guest starred on "Whose Wedding is it Anyway?" http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/whosewedding/index.jsp, warned us on day one that coordinating weddings isn't glamorous. She said there was a spike in people interested in becoming wedding planners after the job was glamorized by Jennifer Lopez's role in "The Wedding Planner."

I learned Saturday that there's little that's fabulous about being a wedding planner.

Yes, planners can help brides' dreams come true, but what goes on behind the scenes can sometimes be a nightmare.

The wedding I assisted was in New York City. The ceremony was flawless, but chaos nearly broke out immediately after the groom kissed the bride.

The guests were supposed to take a tour of the city on double-decker buses, but the tour was canceled because of a severe downpour. The wedding party huddled on one side of the church steps while the photographer tried to snap some pictures. The guests were crammed on the other side of the steps trying to stay dry.

The wedding was over at 4 p.m., but the cocktail hour wasn't supposed to begin until 5:30, because of the tour in between. So, the guests waited. The complained about the weather. Hair fell. Make-up ran. Suits became wrinkled and dresses stuck to skin. The humidity was unbearable and it wasn't much better inside the unairconditioned church.

I was running in the rain from the church to the corner - about half a block- to where the buses were parked to rely messages to the drivers, who didn't have cell phones. It's 2008, right? My hair was soaked, my pants were drenched and my flats were slushy. I had an umbrella, but when the rain is blowing toward you, it makes no difference whether you're covered or not.

The rain finally let up and the guests jumped on the buses. Five minutes later, the rain returned full force. By the time we arrived at the loft for the reception, the rain was torrential. Of 150 guests, three had umbrellas. So, as the assistant, it was my job to escort women from the bus to the loft door. Can you imagine me running in the rain, holding an umbrella over the beautifully-dressed women? It was not a pretty picture.

Things calmed down once everyone was inside and got some alcohol in them. The bride and groom arrived about a half hour later in a black Lincoln Town Car because the Rolls Royce they rented broke down at the church. The sun was out and they looked happy - they had no idea how awful it was trying to get their guests inside. Their first dance was beautiful.

Weddings are gorgeous. Nothing makes me smile faster than seeing a couple in love starting their lives together. But coordinating them was a learning lesson for me - one that I will leave to the real wedding planners.

My family or yours?

2008-06-13T14:59:00.003-04:00

I'm not good at compromising, but I'm working on it.

I've known this about myself from the first major argument with my sisters when we couldn't agree on where to go for summer vacation circa 1984. I wanted to go to Disney World and I wasn't backing down.

One would think that since I've been married - four years this October - that my compromising skills have improved. Let's just say I have good and bad days.

Today started off as a bad day, but turned out good.

About three weeks ago, my husband and I agreed to host a July 4th barbecue for his family, who lives two hours away at the Jersey shore. Because of scheduling problems, the cookout was slated for Sunday, July 6.

Earlier this week, I found out that both of my sisters would be in Memphis visiting our parents for the holiday weekend and I so wanted to be there! My sisters and I are extremely close. We talk with each other everyday, even if it's just a two-minute conversation. And other than Christmas, we're hardly all ever in the same place at the same time, so when the opportunity arose, I jumped on it.

I asked my husband if he thought it would be rude for us to host his family June 29, the Sunday BEFORE the 4th. I explained that since the initial cookout wasn't on the actual holiday and half of his family probably wouldn't make the two-hour trek up the Garden State Parkway anyway, then they would hopefully be OK with us moving the date.

He was upset for about three minutes, then agreed to reschedule. He said he didn't think his family would be upset and he understands that I don't get to see my family as much as he gets to see his.

I was on cloud nine. I immediately got online and found some plane tickets, but I wanted my husband to talk with his family before I purchased them. In the meantime, I told my parents and sisters that my husband and I would be joining them for the 4th. Everyone was excited.

A day went by and my husband still hadn't talked with his mother. While they were playing phone tag, I mentioned the situation to two close friends, who thought I had acted totally selfish.
One friend even said, "Sometimes, you have to cave in."

Their reactions surprised me. Because they were my friends, I assumed they would have sided with me, would have understood where I was coming from. But they said I was in the wrong. Their words got me to thinking: maybe I was wrong for asking my hubbie to change the date; maybe his family is truly looking forward to spending time with us at our home.

So, I called my husband, hoping he still hadn't been able to reach his mother, and told him that we would host the cookout on the date already scheduled.

I will be thinking about my family July 4th weekend as they light up the grill in Memphis, but I'm part of a couple now and that means putting what's best for us before what's best for me.

Stop the lies

2008-06-12T15:30:00.003-04:00

Not even a full week into his campaign as the Democratic presidential candidate, Barack Obama launched a website to stop the lies.

He's calling it "Fight the Smears," and it can be accessed at http://www.fightthesmears.com.

The site, launched today, lists rumors, lies and misconceptions that have been associated with Obama and the people around him, such as the rumor that his wife, Michelle, used "whitey" at Trinity United Church of Christ, and it was caught on tape. According to the website, "No such tape exists. Michelle Obama has not spoken from the pulpit at Trinity and has not used that word."

As the race to the White House hastens, lies and rumors will fly. I think it was smart of Obama and his camp to start the website because people will want to know the truth. With television networks using talking heads and self-proclaimed experts, who have the freedom to say what they want about both candidates, sometimes non-truths will slip out. I don't know how many times I've heard that Obama is unAmerican because he doesn't say the Pledge or wear a flag pin on his lapel. After you hear that 10-15 times, you might start to believe it. If you're still on the fence about that one, "Fight the Smears" has footage of the U.S. senator pledging allegiance to the flag.

"Fight the Smears" is like the political equivalent to Snopes, http://snopes.com/, the website that debunks urban legends. In times when campaign mudslinging is the norm and is almost expected, it's good to have a system in place that speaks the truth.

The birds, bees and plastic surgery, too

2008-06-11T15:44:00.003-04:00

Attention parents and future parents: If you're dreading talking with your children about the birds and the bees, how do you feel about talking with them about your pending plastic surgery?

Miami-based plastic surgeon Michael Alexander Salzhauer wants you to have an open dialogue with the kiddies about your nose job, breast lift or mommy make-over (the full body work up moms get after giving birth). In his new book, "My Beautiful Mommy," he explains the best way to talk with your children about why you will come home black, blue and wrapped in bandages. The book is illustrated with age appropriate before and after pictures.

The book, which is sold for $19.99 at http://mybeautifulmommy.com/, is stirring up a lot of controversy. Those against it say it sends the wrong message to little girls - that mommy can't be beautiful without going under the knife. But those who support it, say it was a lifesaver when they needed a resource in explaining their upcoming surgery.

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, the number of people getting tummy tucks jumped 137% percent 2000 to 2007 and breast augmentations increased 64% during that same time period. So, it's not like people aren't having these procedures, however, there's no data to show what percentage are mothers.

But Salzhauer, who keeps candy in his office for kids who tag along to mom's appointments, said he printed 400 copies for his patients and they sold like string bikinis for a newly-constructed body. Two thousand more books have been ordered.

I think Salzhauer is onto something. There are tons of books for parents who have to explain when a new baby comes home, books to explain grandma's death and what to expect when dad's an alcoholic, so why not plastic surgery?

I'm all for plastic surgery. Most people are more confident after surgery and their children will notice when mom walks into a room with high self esteem. The message sent could be the importance of feeling good about yourself, no matter what it took to get you there. So, if you want to change a part of your body, go for it - from the knockers to the nose. And if you need a little help explaining the procedure and aftermath, you now have a book that will offer some guidance.

I have news! No, I'm not pregnant!

2008-06-10T14:18:00.003-04:00

Lately, when I've announced to friends that "I have news," they automatically assume that I'm pregnant.

I've been married nearly four years to a man who would make a wonderful father, but right now, we've decided to join the DINK club - Double Income No Kids.

Friends who were married around the same time as we were started having children two years ago. We weren't ready then and we're not ready now! So, stop asking us to have a child so little Johnnie or darling Elizabeth will have a playmate. While I love kids (I have two nieces who I absolutely adore!), I sometimes think that parents want DINKs to join their club because misery loves company.

When friends ask why we haven't had children, we reply that we love our independence too much. I love that I don't have to hire a babysitter when my husband and I have a date night. I love that we can book a flight with two weeks notice for a long weekend halfway across the country and not worry about who's watching the kids. And I love that if we don't feel like cooking for two weeks straight, we won't feel guilty about feeding our kids take-out. We just went three weeks without any substantial grocery shopping; our home isn't really kid friendly these days. With my parents in Memphis and sisters in Ohio and Arkansas, and my in-laws in Jersey, but two hours away, we can't easily rely on family to step in when we want a night out. And yes, it's our fault, but we can't even tell you our neighbors' names, so they're out, too.

I'm not sure how long we will be DINKs. We're not anti-children, just pro-independence. While I think I would eventually make a great mother, I know my limits and right now, I'm selfish, impatient and would rather spend my money on a fabulous Gucci bag than daycare!

It's getting hot in here!

2008-06-09T14:01:00.003-04:00

The New Jersey/New York region is in the midst of a heat wave - and it's not even summer yet!

With temperatures in the upper 90s and heat indexes making it feel like 100+, people living in this area don't need to be outside unless it's necessary. Schools are either closing early or just didn't open at all today and there are plans for the same tomorrow, when the high will feel like 101 degrees and the air so thick you feel like you can't breath. And cities have opened cooling centers for people who don't have air conditioning.

While most people - including me - are complaining about the heat from our cool offices, it made me think of those who work outside. How are they faring?

I just went to the bank and was outside all of 45 seconds to walk from my office to my car, my car to the bank, the bank back to my car and finally, my car back to my office door. I thought I was going to combust!

As I was driving, I passed some traffic surveyors, who were in full uniform, standing on the side of the road observing traffic. I also passed a postman walking door to door delivering the mail. And I saw a crew of landscapers manicuring a lawn.

All I could do was shake my head and thank God that I don't work outside.

So, on days like this - when it's too hot to justify being outside - or even too cold in the winter - take a minute to think about the people whose work forces them to brave the heat and cold to pay the bills.

By the way, the first day of summer is June 21.

Stay cool!

The Anti-Show

2008-06-08T13:03:00.001-04:00

I love watching TV, but the networks are getting a little ridiculous with their parade of silly reality shows, which I've dubbed "the anti-show."

While I was flipping through channels earlier today, I came across a commercial for "The Singing Office," where co-workers face off in singing challenges for an ultimate $50,000 prize. Can you imagine competing, via Broadway show tunes, with the copy guy, the girl who gets your coffee or your cubicle buddy? I can't and don't want to. Just because you come up with an idea, doesn't make it a good one. The writers need to go back to the drawing board.

The show doesn't premiere until June 29 (on TLC if you want to check it out), so I can't report what I think will be low viewership numbers. But I can't fathom who would watch this. And, it's an hour long!

All reality shows aren't as awful as "The Singing Office" appears. I've been hooked on "America's Next Top Model," "Last Comic Standing" and yes, I admit it, "The Real Housewives of NYC." And while I'm probably the only person who doesn't watch "American Idol," I can't deny its success. But shows, like "To Tell the Truth," "Date My Ex" and Denise Richards' "Complicated" make me think the writers have just become lazy.

They come up with an idea, advertise for people who are looking for their 15 minutes of fame, throw in a cash prize and voila - you have a new show! There's no creativity, real actors or substance.

There's proof that desperation TV doesn't work. Head to http://realityshows.com/prioryr.htm to see the list of hundreds of failed reality shows, from "Amish in the City" to "Fatty Koo."

I don't wish failure on "The Singing Office" - hosts Mel B (Spice Girls) and Joey Fatone (*NSYNC) need steady paychecks just like the rest of us. But when networks promote these shows like it's must-see TV, it makes me wonder what were they thinking?!

Gimme some dap!

2008-06-06T11:29:00.000-04:00

If you Google "fist bump" and "Obama," you will see a ton of stories reported by legitimate news organizations about Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, giving each other a fist bump, where they lightly knocked knuckles.

This is the perfect example of a story that's not a story. And more importantly, it shows the need for more diversity in newsrooms across America.

You may not know this, but everyday in just about every newsroom, editors meet around a table to discuss what's going in the paper the next day. Most of these editors are white men. So, when the photos of the Obamas giving each other a fist bump, AKA dap or pound, circulated around the country, the editors thought it was a story.

It's cute, but it's not a story.

Black folks have been giving each other dap for years. It's what we do to greet each other, when we agree on something. I think a University of Maryland visiting dance professor read too much into it when she was quoted in stories saying, "He's looking right at her, she's looking right at him -- it's a partnership, it's 'We did it.' "

The Washington Post dubbed it "the first bump heard 'round the world." And The New York Times suggested that June 3 be National Fist Bump Day, since there's already a national High-Five Day. It's the third Thursday in April, just in case you want to go around giving people high fives.

My point is that if editors were more of a reflection of society - truly diverse - when those photos were presented as a story, someone would have been in a position to say, "That's old news. I do that with my boys on the basketball court every Saturday" or "I don't see the story here. My sorority sisters and I have been giving each other dap for years."

My hope is that Americans will elect Obama in November and his history-changing inauguration will drive HR departments in newsrooms (and every other industry) to follow suit and pay more attention to the lack of diversity in their buildings and make the necessary changes.

The Bravo A-List Awards Show

2008-06-05T22:10:00.000-04:00

So, I went to the taping of the Bravo A-List Awards Show in Manhattan last night. My invitation read "cocktail attire," but by the looks of some of the attendees, it made me wonder what their invitation said. If you were wondering, cocktail attire for women generally means a short dress, think LBD, and a dark suit for men. I donned a cute, black knee-length dress with side pockets that I dressed up with dramatic jewelry.

In one of the fashion capitals of the world, you would think people would be more tasteful in their wardrobe selection. For crying out loud, they could be seen on national TV! There were men in jeans and Chuck Taylors; electric blue suits designed for another era and some in tuxes with tails. I swear I saw a woman in a chocolate-colored velvet ball gown on a night when it was 80 degrees outside. One woman wore a sequined dress that was more appropriate for the Emmy's.

When I was waiting for a friend about a block from the Hammerstein Ballroom where the event was held, a woman in floor-length peach dress with a matching wrap gracefully thrown over her shoulder passed me. She could have stepped in as a bridesmaid for any spring wedding. "I wonder where she's going," I thought. Guess who was in line for the show when I arrive? The bridesmaid!

While I glanced at the colorful crowd, I thought maybe I was being too harsh - part of the fun with fashion is being creative and comfortable in your clothes. I got a good laugh at some of the folks that night, but as long as they smiled at their reflection in the mirror before they left the house, that's all that matter. I know I did.