Chicken is Not Bread

When I saw KFC's new chicken sandwich, I was almost without words. Almost.

This sandwich, the Double Down, is a sandwich with two kinds of cheese and bacon. But that's not the problem. The buns are pieces of deep-fried chicken!

KFC reps say the sandwich has 600 calories and 31 grams of fat, but Matt Goulding, author of the best-selling book, "Eat This, Not That: The Best and Worst Foods in America," said independent labs are reporting the sandwich has 1,200 calories and 50 grams of fat. I guess it's great for people who are doing the Atkins Diet, but there is no other reason why people should be eating a sandwich where the buns are pieces of chicken.

The sandwich is being tested in Providence, Rhode Island and Omaha, Nebraska. It sells for $6.99.

To me, KFC has become the restaurant that will sell anything. Remember when they offered that bowl that has everything in it that's on the KFC menu - chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, cheese? Gross. Well, it's no longer on their menu and hopefully, the double down won't be on KFC's menu for much longer either.

Shorts squabble

First Lady Michelle Obama is always in the news for her great fashion sense. But this week, she's been in the news for wearing shorts on her family vacation.

The First Family went to the Grand Canyon earlier this week and when Mrs. Obama emerged from Air Force One, the official plane for presidential travel, she was wearing shorts. Not short shorts, but shorts. And there are people who took offense at this.

The Huffington Post has a poll on its website asking if Mrs. Obama's shorts are inappropriate. Writers on the site pointed out that Mrs. Obama has received flack before for baring her arms in public. So far, 58.21 percent of the people who have taken the poll think it's modern for the First Lady to wear shorts in public; 16.8 think it's inappropriate and 25 percent said it's no big deal, but she should wear longer shorts next time.

Folks, her shorts weren't short.

Robin Givhan, a fashion editor and staff reporter for The Washington Post, said she was “ambivalent” about the First Lady’s shorts — mainly because stepping off Air Force One makes it an “official” photo and so should, perhaps, be considered a more formal moment.

“I think in many ways it’s symbolic,” Givhan explained. “We don’t see first ladies looking informal, and I think it’s a wonderful thing that she’s bringing informality to that position. But we’re still grappling with what the first lady is supposed to be all about.”

I am not ambivalent about the First Lady wearing shorts in public. First, Mrs. Obama wasn't on official business - she was on vacation with her family. And second, it was 106 degrees in Phoenix. What was she supposed to be wearing?

I'm blogging about this because it's been in the news all week, but there are far more important things in the news that we should be concerneced about, people.

Ale and altercations

Two weeks ago, Harvard University Professor Henry Louis Gates was arrested for allegedly being loud and tumultuous at his home. The charges were dropped a couple of days later.

His arrest sparked a discussion about race in America because Gates called the officer racist while he was being arrested.

The arrest has been in the news just about every day since July 16, when the incident happened, because President Barack Obama, who is friends with Gates, said publicly that the officer, Sgt. James Crowley, acted "stupidly" in arresting Gates. Obama later cleaned up his remarks saying that both Gates and Crowley overreacted. Going one step further, the president suggested that he, Gates and Crowley have a beer at the White House.

That meeting over beer took place yesterday.

While the comments made during the meeting have been kept private, Gates said the talk was "cordial and productive." He and the sergeant plan to meet again.

While I hate that Gates was arrested, I hope something positive can spawn from the incident. Americans need to be talking about race. I will not call Crowley, who leads workshops to reduce racial profiling, racist, but there are still racists in America and the world. Just because there is a black man in the White House, doesn't mean racism isn't still perpetuated every day.

And here are two examples: Earlier this week, Boston Police Officer Justin Barrett was suspended from the force for writing a racially-charged email about Gates, referring to him as a "jungle monkey." And the Manhattan Borough President's Press Secretary Lee Landor was forced to step down two days ago after posting on her Facebook page that Gates is "racist," referring to Obama as "O-dumb-a" and saying that racial profiling exists for a good reason.

And these were the just the incidents by public officials - just think of what happens with private citizens.

We need to take every opportunity to discuss race, to celebrate diversity and work to understand our differences. Use this teachable moment for something good.

Props to Hoda Kotb

I'm a huge fan of the "Today Show," especially the fourth hour with Kathie Lee and Hoda. While I like them equally, this morning, I had to give it up to Hoda Kotb.

The two were in San Antonio as part of a "Today Show" goes on vacation special and there was an animal segment. If you are a "Today Show" watcher, you know Hoda is not crazy about animals. It looks as if she tolerates them for the sake of her job. Well, this morning, Hoda held a buzzard, yes a buzzard, on her cowgirl hat for a couple of minutes. The bird even jumped from Hoda's hat to Kathie Lee's and back to Hoda's. I was nervous just watching.

Hoda looked terrified, but was a real trooper. There were also armadillo, rattle snake and wolf on set.

Interacting with animals would be the one thing that would freaked me out, too, if I were in Hoda's position, and there seems to be a weekly animal segment on the "Today Show." I didn't grow up with animals, so I'm not an animal lover. I could pass a cute dog on the street and ignore it. A sweet kitten could walk between my legs and I would just step over it. Most birds frighten me and let's not even get into farm animals!

But for the sake of not looking foolish, Hoda put aside her fears this morning, as she does every time she's around an animal, and took one for nature.

Props to Hoda!

Cool nights welcome

Over Memorial Day weekend, Phillip and I bought a patio set for our deck. So, lately, we've been eating outside, or just sitting on the deck and enjoying New Jersey's cool nights.

A couple of weeks ago, on an especially cool night, we talked about how great it would be if we had a fire pit. On Saturday, we bought one.

Saturday night, I grilled pizza and we sat outside eating and enjoying wine and beer being warmed by our new fire pit. We even toasted marsh mellows for dessert.

Other than my hair still smelling like smoke, it was great. The fire provided the right touch to a nice, late night dinner outside.

Are you chilly around children?

When Phillip and I got married nearly five years ago, the plan was to have a child-free day. One, we didn't want babies crying throughout the ceremony, messing up our video, and two, we didn't want to pay $60 for a child to eat - or not eat.

We kindly indicated in our invitation that the celebration was "an adult-only affair," and on the inner envelop, you know the one that lists who is actually invited to the wedding, we only listed the adults in the household.

But we received RSVP cards that were intended for just Mr. and Mrs. with Mr., Mrs., and their two, three and four kids. Either people didn't read the invitation or just ignored our request.

So, I had to make a couple of uncomfortable telephone calls to explain that Phillip and I didn't want children at our wedding, no matter how cute. Most understood, but a couple tried to stand their ground, explaining that their child is a baby, so he won't be running around and there's no need to include him in the count for the reception. But babies cry, something I never want to deal with, especially on my wedding day.

In yesterday's New York Times' Social Qs, someone asked if they were wrong in hosting an adult-only affair in their home. The couple thought they had every right to exclude kids, but some of the guests made them feel less than PC for not wanting kids there.

"Well, blood is thicker than water - which may explain the parental insistence - but it's harder to get out of the living rug. You did nothing wrong, dear hostess," is what Philip Galanes replied.

I completely agree. It's your event, so you drive the guest list. If parents can't find or won't get a babysitter, stay at home.

PETA needs to calm down

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals need to sit down somewhere.

President Barack Obama killed an ordinary housefly during an interview that aired yesterday and PETA, the folks who fight for animal rights, called the swatting an "execution" and asked the President to be more compassionate.

What?!

"We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Freidrich explained.

The group sent Obama a device that traps flies so they can then be released outside.

I am all for the ethical treatment of animals. I certainly don't want people abusing cats, dogs, elephants, tigers, etc. You get the picture. But flies? That's another story.

Flies are annoying. They aim for your food at picnics. Tickle your skin when they land on you. Buzz in your ears. Oh, how they are annoying.

I wouldn't go as far as saying flies deserved to be killed, but when they are inside - not outside where they belong - and getting on my nerves - then, I'm swatting, and if I get it, so be it.

PETA there are more important things in life than expecting people to be more compassionate toward flies.

Is Match.com mismatched?

A group of online daters have filed a lawsuit against Match.com, an Internet dating site where my husband and I met.

The federal lawsuit alleges that Match.com goaded members into renewing their subscriptions by having employees send phony romantic emails to members and in some cases, employees posed as Match.com members and even went on dates with subscribers.

Match.com spokesperson Kristen Kelly told USAToday.com that the company "absolutely does not" hire people to go on dates with members or send members misleading romantic emails. The company has about 15 million members worldwide and 250 employees.  

But plaintiff Matthew Evans said in the suit that he went out with a woman he met through the site who turned out to be nothing more than "date bait" working for the company. The relationship went nowhere, according to his suit. Evans says Match set up the date for him because it wanted to keep him from pulling the plug on his subscription and was hoping he'd tell other potential members about the pretty woman he met through the service, according to the suit.

If Match is guilty of what the daters have accused them of, then shame on them.  It's hard enough to date these days, but to be tricked into going on a date or deceived by fake emails is horrible. For some people, online dating is a big step. People are worried about the connotation it sends - that they are desperate. I have a friend who met her husband on Match.com, but didn't tell anyone how they met until after they were married because she was worried about what people would think of her.

I truly hope the accusations are false, because I'm a big cheerleader of the site, since it worked for me. But if the Internet dating site is guilty, I'm putting down my pom-poms.

 

In some states, you must pay to park

I was shocked by two things earlier this week. One, that my mother has a handicapped placard and two, that she had to pay $30 for it.

After thinking for a minute about my mother's health conditions - the heel spurs that make her heels raw and her back problems that make her sometimes walk at a snail's pace - the shock of her having a handicapped tag wore off.

But I'm still stunned that she had to pay for the placard.

My mother, who lives in Tennessee, paid $30 for hers. She said she didn't want to pay the money, but when she's in pain, but still has errands to run, she's happy she shelled out the cash for the privilege to park as close to the door as possible.

In New Jersey, where I live, the placard is free.

Charging for the placard is like punishing the handicapped on top of their disability.  I'm sure state officials can site production costs, but how much does it actually cost to print that thin blue tag?

Maybe in the states that charge for the placards and license plates officials are trying to cut back on people taking advantage of the parking privilege.  But a doctor must sign off on the application.

What do you think? Should the handicapped be charged for their placard or special plate?

Pregnancy vs. The Elderly

I was on the subway the other day and it was super crowded, so much so, that a pregnant woman was standing up. At the next stop, a few people got off and a seat opened up. As a man, who was standing tried to get the pregnant woman's attention so she could sit down, an elderly man eased into the seat. He saw the pregnant woman, but didn't get up. Eyebrows raised.

So, it made me wonder does being a senior citizen trump being pregnant when there's one seat left on the subway?

I guess the old man thought so. 

He may have been thinking, "She may be pregnant, but she's young and pregnant. I'm old." His back may have been sore and his feet may have been swollen.

I'm totally guessing here, but the woman looked like she may have been six to seven months pregnant. I wonder if she thought the old man was being insensitive. She may have been on her feet all day. She baby may have been sitting in an awkward position and sitting may have helped, but she didn't say anything. 

Should she have had to, though?

What do you think?

By the way, I was standing on the subway, but would have immediately offered her my seat if I had one to give. 

Paid to be real

I love reality shows and fortunately, they are all over television. 

I sometimes wish I had a reality show, but my life just isn't that interesting. But I often feel that I am destined for stardom and a reality show would be the quickest way to achieve it. Take Elisabeth Hasselbeck, one of the co-hosts of The View. She got her start on TV on the reality show Survivor. And Eva Pigford, winner of America's Next Top Model Season 3, and is now a regular on The Young and the Restless. What luck.

Another lucky thing about reality shows is the money to be made. I always knew that the networks were paying the reality stars, but I was blown away when  I found out how much some are actually making.

The Osbornes' reported earnings jumped from $5,000 each the first season to $5 million each in their last season. The Osbornes are a unique example because Ozzy Osborne was a star before the show, but they are still just living their lives and getting paid by MTV $5 million each a season.

The celebrities on ABC's Dancing with the Stars earn a base salary of $125,000. 

NBC pays Donald Trump $50,000 per episode for Celebrity Apprentice and the B-list stars on The Surreal Life earn between $10,000 and $25,000 per episode, according to msn.com.

But Jon and Kate Gosselin, who were not known to the public before their show on TLC Jon and Kate plus 8, earn nearly as much as Trump. CNN reported that the couple earns between $50,000 and $75,000 an episode.

In comparison, the no-names on CBS' Big Brother earn $750 a week. It averages to about 10 cents an hour, according to Entertainment Weekly.

The contestants on CBS' The Bachelor are paid whatever their mortgage or rent is. I'm sure there is a max, but that information wasn't available. 

While some careers are catapulted  by reality shows, others are destroyed. Jon and Kate said last week that they hate the media after news organizations reported that Jon had an affair. Kate said they are targets because they are on television.

Tara Reid says her reality TV show Taradise, which followed the actress as she partied around the world, ruined her career. And singer Nick Lachey says his reality show Newlyweds was "among the dumber ideas I think I've ever seen executed in history." 

Would you ever star in a reality show?

Lesson learned

I knew there was a reason why I never drive into NYC - it's a traffic nightmare! But I thought it would be a good idea to drive into Brooklyn the other weekend.

The original plan was to take the train into NYC, then the subway to Brooklyn. But when my GPS told me I was only 35 minutes from Brooklyn (I was in Woodbridge, NJ at the time), I decided to drive. Plus, I wouldn't have to spend $13.75 on a round-trip ticket.

Because the weather was nice, everyone was out, so my 35-minute trip turned into an hour in the car. And once I got into Brooklyn, parking was limited. After driving around for about 15 minutes, I found a spot about a half mile from my destination and parked at the meter. I was so frustrated by the time I found the spot, that I didn't check to see if parking was free on the weekends. I guess I was used to the nice gesture because most NJ meters are free on the weekend.

But when I got back to my car a couple of hours later, I was greeted by a bright orange NYC parking ticket! The fine was $35. So my economical way of getting to NYC turned out to be $35 plus, gas, tolls and the stamp needed to mail the ticket!

Lesson learned. Public transportation is the way to go.

What's with portions these days?

I love food and I  admit, sometimes I let the rules of portion control fly out of the window.

But I was shocked at the amount of French fries that come in a large order at Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I'd been craving beef all week, something that rarely happens, and after hearing that First Lady Michelle Obama snuck out of the White House to Five Guys, I decided I wanted a burger, too. Talk about the power of persuasion! 

I had never been to Five Guys before and hardly ever treat myself to fast food, so I was really excited Sunday when my husband and I went. We both ordered bacon cheeseburgers, which came with two patties (I removed one) and we shared a large fry.

Now, when Phillip came to the table with the food, that's served in brown paper bags, the bag was already greasy. Not a good sign. Phillip opened the bag and saw a mountain of fries. He couldn't even see the burgers! The fries were served in a Styrofoam cup that looked like it was about 12 ounces, but then there were fries just poured in the bag - enough to fill another 12 ounce cup! It was literally enough fries for six adults.

America is the fattest country in the world because we've let our portions get out of control.

There is no reason why a large fry should comfortably feed six. And it's not just Five Guys that's the culprit. Super-sized portions are in just about every restaurant and grocery store.

According to the New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services, portions have grown tremendously over the last 20 years. A bagel in 1989 was 3 inches wide and 140 calories. Today's bagel is double the width and 350 calories. A cheeseburger 20 years ago was 333 calories. Today, that cheeseburger will cost you 590 calories. A serving of spaghetti and meatballs in 1989 was one cup of spaghetti and three meatballs, totaling 500 calories. Today, it's two cups of spaghetti and three meatballs, equalling 1025 calories. I'm surprised the number of meatballs didn't increase! And an average-sized bottled soda, which, in my opinion, is just wasted calories, was 6.5 ounces and 85 calories. Today's bottle averages 20 ounces and 250 calories.

Half a regular order of Five Guys' fries, which the restaurant considers one serving, is 310 calories. I wish I would have known this when we ordered the large.

We need to reign it in, folks! Our portions have gotten out of control as have our waistlines.

And if you're wondering, we did not eat all of the fries! We barely put a dent in them.

Ask and you shall receive

My doorbell rang yesterday, and when I opened it, there was a teenage girl standing there.

She asked if that was my red BMW in the driveway and I told her yes. She then started explaining that her prom is May 16 and the colors are red and white and she wanted to know if she could drive my car to the prom.

What?!

Now, I didn't know this girl and even if I did, I would not have let a teenager drive my car - which still have the drive-out tags in the window - anywhere!

Once the shock wore off, I mustered a "No, I'm sorry." And she just walked away.

It was the oddest request I've ever had in my life.

But once this girl left, I started thinking that it was really ballsy of her to walk up to my door, ring the bell and ask such a question of a stranger. She must have the all-she-can-do-is-say-no mentality. And then I thought, good for her. 

I have that mentality, too. My mother taught me to always ask for what I want, because, in the end, all people can do is say no. And sometimes, you get a "yes." But I ask within reason.

Even though this teen's request was totally out of the question, I hope she continues to ask for what she wants in life, because eventually, she will get a yes! 

Shoe Shame

I'm the first to admit when I have a problem.

I have a problem. There, I admitted it.

And it's shoes. 

I have too many. Some might say it's a blessing when you can open your closet and have actually think about which pair you're going to don that day. It is, but it becomes a problem when you're finding shoes in your closet that you don't remember buying, have never worn or forgotten that you have.

That happened to me two weeks ago. I was putting together an outfit for The Links' Greater NY Chapter's 60th Annual Easter Luncheon and Fashion Show and found a pair of never-worn, don't-remember-when-I-bought-them shoes! I opened the box and the Paolo Brooklyn Silver Patent pair looked familiar, but don't ask me when I bought them.

And then, there's the pair of Betsy Johnson Reese shoes that I pined after for months because I didn't want to pay the $150 pricetag, finally ordered then, got them, loved them, but have never worn them. They've been in my closet for at least six months, but probably longer!

Yes, I have a problem.

And another problem with having too many pairs of shoes is how to store them. I like to keep the boxes, so the shoes won't be just thrown in the closet. But what happens when you start throwing the boxes in the closet? Chaos!

I had had enough of opening my closet door and seeing the horrible mess of shoes at the bottom. Some of the boxes were vertical, some horizontal, some of the recently-worn shoes hadn't made it back into the boxes. So, this morning, I pulled out everything, set aside the pairs for Goodwill that I know I will never wear again, and organized the keepers.

My closet looks much better now - as you can see from the before and after pics. Next, I must tackle my clothes!

Grilled Cheese and Pickles

I've always tried to never judge a book by its cover, and today, my stomach benefited from the open mindedness.

I spent the day in Fort Green, Brooklyn at the Brooklyn Flea, a flea market held every Saturday and Sunday (in Dumbo) from April through the fall. There were tons of vendors selling vintage items from broaches to bicycles. And like most flea markets - especially the outdoor ones - there was food.

I passed Saxelby Cheesemongers' stand with its long line of people waiting for grilled cheese and pickle sandwiches several times before I decided that the pressed sandwiches must be good. I love grilled cheese and I like pickles, but never thought to combine the two. But the treat that awaited me today was simple savory goodness.

I was in line for 20 minutes, in the hot sun (it was near 80 degrees and you see I'm already complaining about the weather) for this sandwich that was served on ciabatta bread. It was definitely worth the wait. The crunchy bread, spicy pickles and soft, stretchy cheese was a true delight!

Keep an open mind and get a treat!

Easter Sunday

Happy Easter!

It happens without fail - every year those C.M.E. (Christmas, Mother's Day and Easter) folks show up at church. Our church is a five-minute drive from our house, including parking. But knowing that we would have tons of "visitors" today, the plan was to leave earlier than usual to make sure we were able to sit in our regular seats.

For some reason, that I won't get into in my blog to spare the embarrassment of a certain someone (but it had to do with a slow poke who had trouble tying his bowtie) we left home 10 minutes later than planned. The streets were clogged. The parking lots were full. By the time we made it into the church, the choir was already singing. And as if we needed another sign that our usual seats had already been taken, there was a line of people waiting to get into the sanctuary. 

The lower level was full and we were asked to find a seat in the balcony. We've never sat in the balcony before and I was upset that we were forced to sit there on Easter Sunday with the other late people. As we sat on the second level, my eyes moved down to the main level, trying to see who was sitting in "my" seat. We don't have assigned seats at church, but most people do sit in at least the same row every Sunday.

After enviously looking down at the people who were on time enough to get a good seat, I glared at the people sitting around us, wondering how many were actually regulars or C.M.E. visitors. I also glared at the bowtie man who made us late.

Then, it dawned on me that I was sitting in church on Easter Sunday angry. I had forgotten that God didn't have to wake me up this morning to even see another Easter Sunday. I had forgotten that it's a blessing every time someone has the desire to attend church, whether they are a regular or C.M.E. visitor. I was giving the devil glory by sitting in church mad that we had to sit in the balcony, taking all the glory away from God.

I relaxed and took a deep breath and spent the rest of the service honoring the Man I was there for. 

Happy Easter!

Car Craze

I've become one of them - one of those drivers who parks their car at the far end of the parking lot to avoid other cars.

I picked up my new car, a BMW 328i red coupe, Tuesday and have been loving it ever since. I love my car so much that I want to protect her from dings and dents from careless drivers who don't appreciate her perfection. I used to make fun of people who parked their cars far from the entrance, away from other cars, so much so, I would park my car right next to their car just to irk them.

But since Tuesday, I found myself parking at the end of civilization. It first happened at my church, where I volunteer two days a week. I drove into the parking lot and subconsciously passed the cars and a few open parking spaces that were close to the door. I stopped at the last spot and pulled in. I kind of laughed, but thought Scarlet, that's what I named her, would be safer there.

Then, I went to the grocery store, where I normally always try to park close to the door. But I immediately pulled into one of the last spots in a row. There was another BMW parked close by, but still away from the other cars.

And yesterday, when I arrived at the gym, I passed several good spaces to park Scarlet at the end of the lot. There was a BMW 6-series also parked at the end, but the driver parked catty-corner taking up two spaces to make sure no one would park next to the car. I haven't gone that far - yet.

I'm wondering how long this behavior will last, how long the car will feel new and special to me? I hope always.

Blessing in Disguise

I was in a car accident nearly a month ago. Don't worry, I'm OK. That's not the reason why I haven't posted a new blog in the last three weeks. I have no excuse for not writing.

But the point of this blog isn't why I've been such a slacker, but the blessing that came out of the car accident.

The accident happened on the Garden State Parkway. Phillip and I (we were in separate cars) had just entered the Parkway, an expressway where the cars are easily driven 80 mph. A couple of minutes after getting on the highway, the car in front of me started breaking, so I started breaking. I looked in my rear view mirror and noticed the car behind me wasn't slowing down. I thought "I'm going to be in a car accident," and then WHAM! I was in a car accident.

The car behind me slammed into me, causing me to run into the car in front of me. This caused the woman I hit to run into the car in front of her. Fortunately, no one was hurt. I had a cut on my bottom lip, but refused medical attention at the scene. However, a couple of hours after the accident, my right hand and wrist were bruised and the entire right side of my body was sore. So, Phillip took me to the ER, where we spent four hours to learn that nothing was broken or sprained.

If you're waiting for the blessing, one is that I survived a four-car accident on a busy highway, and two is that because of the accident I'm going to go from a $500 a month car note to no car note at all!

My 2008 BMW 328i was only eight months old when I had to put her down. Because she was so young, my insurance company valued my car at nearly what I paid for it. So, after State Farm cut BMW Financial a check, I walked away with a nice amount. It probably also helped that I put down a sizable down payment (see my June 30, 2008 blog).

Anyway, because of the leftover money, I am buying a 2008 BMW 328i candy apple red coupe tomorrow IN CASH! We got a great deal because it's an '08 with 9,000 miles. And what's weird is that before I purchased the '08 sedan in June, I looked at a 2008 red coupe, but couldn't afford it. Now, I'm finally getting what I want  - the car and no car note!

Blessings come in the strangest forms.

Things a Woman Should Know about Style

I just read "Things a Woman Should Know about Style" by Karen Homer. 

I bought it for three reasons: I think I have style sometimes, but strive to have it all of the time; for the picture of Audrey Hepburn on the cover (she's definitely a style icon) and it was $7.99 at Anthropologie.

I highlighted statements throughout the book that I either agreed with or thought were funny. 

Here they are: 

• It is the flagrant lack of practicality that makes high-heeled shoes so fascinating.
  

I thought this quote made so much sense that I tacked it to the top of my blog about how much high-heeled shoes hurt. High-heeled shoes hurt like heck, but they are so beautiful, which is why I continue to wear them.

• Accessories are to girls what DIY gadgets are to boys. Gratifying for a while, but you always want a newer model.

I couldn't agree with this more. My husband, however, doesn't think there's a correlation. I love bracelets, necklaces and rings. He loves his CSI 2120 dual channel vibration analyzer and his Panametrics AT868 ultrasonic flow meter, whatever those are! I'm always looking for that next great piece of jewelry and Phillip, well...

• You are never too fat for your accessories. 

I loved this so much that it was my facebook status yesterday. I have fat days more than I'd like to admit, but on some of those fat days, I still want to go shopping. Hence the previous item. While my pants size may go up and down, my shoe size and ring size will always be a six.

• The most enduring accessory of all is jewelry. Jewelry should be acquired over a lifetime of inheritance, extravagance and self-indulgence. Buy carefully or cheaply. Preferably don't buy for yourself at all.

Self explanatory. 

• Diamonds really are a girl's best friend. Especially big ones.
  

Again, self explanatory.

• Don't just buy because it's cheap.

How many times have you bought something that was either too small (and you thought you'd lose weight to fit into it) or just wasn't that great because it was cheap? Don't.

• (When looking for a style icon) never copy a woman who has had breast implants.

I have nothing against breast implants, I just thought this was random and funny because it was the only time Homer mentioned implants in the book. Homer suggests Nicole Kidman or Halle Berry as icons.

• Carry yourself well. Walk tall and proud.

Your back will thank you.

• At parties leave your bag at home. Make your boyfriend carry your lipstick in his pocket.

...and your keys, blackberry and business cards, etc.

• Don't buy designer rip-offs. So what if no one else knows. You do...Think of a bag as an investment.

I've been guilty of hitting Canal Street to buy designer knock-offs, but after I bought my first real designer bag about two years ago, I just can't bring myself to buy a fake bag. There's something about carrying a real designer bag that makes you feel good. And if you buy the right one, it will be timeless.

• You will always need more than one handbag. In fact, you can justify an almost limitless number. Like shoes, handbags are something a girl can always do with more of.

Something else that just makes sense.

• Fur coats are unsuitable for women under 40 years of age or 5'5''.

What? I'm 33 and have wanted a fur for years. And I don't think I'm going to wait until I'm 40 to get one. I'm not sure where Homer is going with this. She explains the height factor: "Short, round women in fur look like Mrs. Tiggwinkle," she wrote, but doesn't address the age issue.

• And lastly, style comes from the inside, so until you are happy in your own skin, you won't look good in anyone's else's.
  

I couldn't agree more!

Now, go and be stylish!