The things we do for love

I was on the New Jersey Turnpike at 4:15 this morning - not because I wanted to, but because I love my husband.

My husband's job requires him to travel about 30-40 percent of the time. Usually, the business trips are on the East Coast, so he drives his company car. But occasionally, he has a trip that requires him to fly. This time, it was Houston.

I was not a happy camper last night when he said "5:30," after I asked him what time his flight left.

"In the morning?" I questioned, already frowning my face.

"Yep. In the morning," he replied, knowing I don't like to roll over good before 9 a.m. (I have flexible work hours and usually get to the office around 10:30 a.m.)

"You couldn't have left today?" I asked.

"I could have, but the flight was twice as much and it had a layover. Going from Continental one hub to another Continental hub should not require a layover," he said.

I looked at him with my best version of puppy-dog eyes, tilted my head to the side and stuck out my bottom lip.

"I'll drive myself," he finally said.

"No, no. I'll take you. That's what a good wife does," I sarcastically said.

So, the alarm clock went off at 4 a.m. and we were out of the door by 4:15 a.m.

It was a quiet ride - there's not much to say at that insane hour.

We were at the airport by 4:45 a.m. and I was back at home and in bed by 5:15 a.m.

I love my husband, but next time, he's driving himself!

When image gets in the way of decency

According to news reports, an estimated one billion people watched the 2008 Summer Olympic's opening ceremonies Friday evening when Lin Miaoke, 9, sang “Ode to the Motherland.”

She was charming and cute, in pigtails, a red dress and white shoes.

But it wasn't her voice that was heard around the world. Rather, it was Yang Peiyi, 7, who did the singing.

Yang, cute in a seven-year-old way, with crooked teeth and a short bob, was not as appealing as Lin, with bright eyes, long hair and surprisingly straight teeth for a youngster. And that's why she wasn't placed in the spotlight for the world to awe.

“The reason was for the national interest,” explained Chen Qigang, general music designer of the opening ceremonies, who revealed the deception during a radio interview. “The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feeling and expression.”

Lin didn't even know that it wasn't her voice. Her father noticed that she sounded differently, but blamed the acoustics.

Chinese lawmakers are so concerned with the way other countries perceive the economic powerhouse, that they favored beauty over talent. If it's not explained with kid gloves to Yang why she wasn't chosen to be in the spotlight, she could grow up feeling inadequate, not as pretty as the next girl and with low self-esteem.

Was China's image worth all of that? In my opinion, no.

The human race

About three weeks ago, a young black man walked into a gas station in New Jersey, stole the money from the cash register and shot the attendant, who was Indian.

Around the same time, another young black man walked into a Chinese restaurant, which is across the street from the gas station, robbed the place at gunpoint and shot a worker, who was Chinese.

Sunday, more than 500 blacks marched through that neighborhood denouncing the violence. I was one of them. The march was organized by my church, which is in the same neighborhood as the businesses where the employees were shot. My pastor wanted to send a message that no matter what race, we all need to be concerned when violence affects our community.

We marched, in the drizzling rain, chanting "Stop the violence" and "enough is enough."

Our destination was the gas station, where we stood hand-in-hand and prayed for the victims. A family member of the gas station attendant spoke, saying that his cousin would never work again - the shooting paralyzed him. He said that more than one person was shot that day - six were. The attendant was working to take care of his parents, wife and two children.

Fortunately, the victim at the Chinese restaurant is recuperating at home.

As I marched, chanted and prayed tears welled up in my eyes. I thought of the victims and their families, how vulnerable we all are and how senseless violence is. While I was sad for the victims, it made my heart happy to see so many blacks supporting those of other races. Everyone's first race should be the human race.

"Have a good day, honey."

That's what an attendant at the Exxon gas station says to me every time he fills my car. And every time he says it, it irks me.

I'm sure the young man, who looks no more than 22, means no harm, but to me, "honey" is a term of endearment meant to be used either by my husband or parents - not the random guy at the gas station.

This Exxon station is by my job. I noticed it about two months ago when I was out trolling for gas that was less than $4.45 a gallon for supreme. At the time, they were selling it for about $4.43 a gallon, so I pulled in.

The "honey guy" didn't wait on me that day, but the next time I filled up, he did the pumping. As he returned my debit card and handed me the receipt, he said, "Have a nice day, honey." I was taken aback. Should I be flattered? He was cute, after all. Or should I be offended? He didn't know me like that.

I was offended, but didn't dwell on it.

About a month passed before the "honey guy" filled up my car again, which was last week. I actually had forgotten about the incident until he said it again. "Have a nice day, honey," rolled off of his lips as easily as "hello" or "good-bye."

"OK, that's it", I thought, "The next time he fills my car and calls me 'honey,' I need to say something."

The next time was this morning.

I pulled into the station and saw him approaching my car. "If he doesn't say it, I won't say anything," I thought. But he said it.

As soon as the word "honey" left his lips, I said, "Hey, come back."

He turned around and I told him that I'm sure he doesn't mean anything by it, but I'm offended when he calls me "honey."

"Just remember my face and my car and please don't call me 'honey' anymore," I instructed.

He looked a little shocked and said "OK."

I told him to have a nice day and he said the same.

Just don't call me honey!

Airline now charging for sleep

It started with food and drinks, then moved to checked baggage. Now, it's sleep.

Jet Blue recently announced that it will charge passengers $7 for a pillow and blanket. This is on top of the hundreds of dollars you will spend to get a ticket. Are times really this tight or are airlines taking advantage of the fact that once you board their planes, you're captive for a couple to 20 hours, so they can just charge you for anything?

These days, travelers are stuck between a rock and a hard place - with gas prices skyrocketing, it costs just as much to take a road trip as it does to purchase a plane ticket. Traveling by car used to be the cheaper option, but depending on how far you're going to get to grandma's house, it's not anymore.

So, you shell out $300 for a two-hour flight. Add $80 bucks if you're flying Northwest, which said it will tack on that amount beginning in January for a fuel surcharge. When you get to the airport, you realize your bag's too big to go in the overhead compartment. It will cost you extra to check it if you're flying American, United or US Airways.

Don't be thirsty when you board the plane, because US Airways also charges for water, yes, water, and other beverages.

And I'll just be cold and uncomfortable before I pay $7 for a pillow and blanket, even if it comes with a $5 coupon to Bed, Bath and Beyond that I may or may not use.

I love to travel, but airline surcharges are out of control. They know some people will always travel no matter how much the prices increase or what crazy item they're charging extra for, but the executives need to think from the travelers' point of view and stop this madness!

Nintendo DS divides a family

My niece, Kendall, turns seven next month and the only thing she wants for her birthday is a Ninentendo DS.

This portable gaming system is about $150 and because of the high price tag, I asked my younger sister and parents if they want to purchase this gift together and it would be Kendall's one birthday gift. My younger sister said she's in. But my parents - specifically my mother - said absolutely not!

Her argument is that Kendall is just turning seven and it's way too much money to spend on such a young child. She accused me of spoiling Kendall by getting her what she wants no matter the price and referred to the $175 telescope she got for her birthday last year. Kendall's really into astronomy and I thought it was important to support her interest. She could be a future astronaut, for crying out loud! My mother also said I'm setting Kendall up to believe that she should get whatever she asks for.

My argument is that Kendall is a good girl; makes good grades and it's the only thing she's been asking for for months. She started talking about her birthday about three months ago! Yeah, it's pricey, but that's the going rate for game systems and that's what kids are into and have been into for years. I had an Atari 2600 when I was just one year older than Kendall. I have no idea how much it cost, but my parents bought it for me because it was hot and I wanted it. Kendall's no different from me at that age.

I talked with my older sister, Kendall's mother, about the DS. She said she doesn't have a problem with me purchasing the system for Kendall. That's all the go-ahead I need.

My husband and I don't have kids, so we feel it's OK to spend money on our nieces and nephews, to even spoil them. Isn't that what aunts and uncles are for anyway?

Kendall will be alright if she doesn't get the DS; her world won't come to end. But with the DS, her birthday will be even sweeter. And if I can have a part in putting a cute crooked smiled on my niece's face, then point me in the direction of the game.

What do you think? Is $150 too much to spend on a gaming system for a seven-year-old?

Are you registered to vote?

I worked my first voter-registration drive Saturday.

I did a four-hour shift at an outlet mall in Elizabeth, NJ. It was the perfect place for a drive because there was a ton of foot traffic.

In four hours, I registered 23 people!

It felt good to have a hand in making sure people register to vote. A large majority of people who passed my table said they were already registered, which was good. I registered a 17-year-old who's birthday is today. As long as you're going to be 18 by November, you can register. It was my gift to him. I also registered several 20- and 30-somethings who had never registered because they weren't interested in voting until now.

There was only one woman, who was eligible to register (there were a lot of immigrants in the mall) who I couldn't convince to sign up to vote. She said her vote didn't count and that the government was going to put in office who it wanted there. She referenced Bush and how he lost the popular vote in 2000, but he ended up as president anyway. I told her that she was giving away her power by not voting, that this time could be different, but she didn't want to hear it.

Registering people to vote is only half the battle. There are so many folks who are registered who don't vote. If I could personally walk those 23 people I registered to the polls Nov. 4, I would. I hope the excitement of voting the first time doesn't wear off by this fall and the new registrants exercise their rights.

My next drive is Friday evening at a local grocery store. Hopefully, I'll have just as much luck.

Make sure you're registered to vote! And then, VOTE!

"Black in America" disappoints

I watched CNN's Black in America last night and was ready to turn in my black card when it was over.

Reporter Soledad O'Brien spent two hours highlighting just about negative aspect of the black community. It was basically a report on how blacks have failed. When it was over, I said out loud, to myself, "Is this all that black people have amounted to?"

As a member of the media and a minority, I try to always be cognizant of the way blacks are portrayed in the newspapers and on television. People always say reporters find the most ignorant blacks to put on television or quote in the papers. Yes, there are unintelligent blacks in the news all the time, but in my experience, those are the ones usually willing to talk. I feel safe writing that in the majority of cases, reporters just want to get the quote and head back to the newsroom. So, if the woman with the Marlboro Light hanging from her mouth, wearing a robe at 3 p.m. with a head full of rollers is at the scene talking, I'm writing and broadcast reporters are filming.

I say all that to say getting quotes from uneducated people in a breaking-news situation is different from what O'Brien did in her special, where she used a feature format to only focus on the negative. She had time to find someone or something positive. With breaking news, it happens fast and a reporter's main goal is to get the story fast.

Instead, she reported that blacks are uneducated. Blacks live in poverty. Black women can't find a good black man. One in 20 black women in D.C. have AIDS. Blacks don't have insurance, so they have to use emergency rooms. And so on.

Most of this information is already widely known in the black community, so I'm not sure what O'Brien wants us to do with it. There was no commentary on solutions to get ahead. And no mention of Democratic Presidental Candidate Barack Obama other than the section on biracial Americans.

In giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe O'Brien hopes the documentary begins a conversation. Maybe she wanted to show the black community their problems all at once so we will start thinking about solutions.

Even with last night's special being a downer, I'm going to watch tonight's on the black man. I can only imagine how O'Brien will show my brothers.

Reality show is full of irony

I couldn't sleep last night, so I ended up watching "Tori and Dean Home Sweet Home Hollywood," the reality show based on Tori Spelling's life. It's not a show I tune into every Tuesday, but I've seen it before.

During last night's episode, Tori and Dean, who on the show are expecting their second child, but in real life, have had this baby, were registering for their baby shower. The paparazzi were everywhere outside of the store trying to get a picture of the couple looking at baby items. It started with about five, then grew to 10 and finally, to 40, which is ridiculous.

But what's even more ridiculous was Tori's comment when Dean announced there were about 40 photographers outside: "We're trying to have an intimate moment."

What? Does she realize that her life is being filmed for a weekly TV show? And that everything about her life ceased to be intimate when she signed the contract with Oxygen? There are no intimate or private moments left, Tori.

I actually laughed out loud when those words came out of her mouth. So, it's OK that the Oxygen camera crew follows her into the store while she's looking at bibs and bathtubs, for ultimately the world to see, but she gets upset when someone, even 40 someones, want to take her picture. It doesn't make sense to me.

I'm not a fan of the paparazzi when they're hounding someone famous who wants their privacy. There's no need to take a picture of an actor at the grocery store; they have to eat, too. But when your life is knowingly being recorded for TV, the paparazzi should have free reign.

Loaf of bread stands the test of time

My husband and I have been eating off of the same loaf of bread for four months and it hasn't molded.

If you've read my blog before, you'd know that we haven't been in a cooking mood lately, which means we haven't really been going grocery shopping. Instead, we're on a first-name basis with the take-out guy.

The expiration date on this Arnold's 12 Grain wheat bread is April 9. My husband noticed it Sunday as we were making egg sandwiches - we do have eggs in the frig and opted to cook that morning rather than go to Sunday brunch. As he was grabbing the loaf of bread, I mentioned that I didn't remember the last time I bought bread. He glanced at the expiration date and frowned.

"What's the date?" I asked.

"You don't want to know," was his reply.

I love feeling like I've beaten the odds when I eat something past the expiration date that hasn't molded. So what if that yogurt has a June date on it, if it doesn't smell, I'll eat it.

I asked my husband again, and he said, "April 9."

Wow! True victory!

"I'm blogging about this," I said, feeling supremely satisfied that we'd got our monies worth.

I don't know what the folks at Arnold's are putting in their bread, but it amazes me that this loaf is still soft, tasty and and free of anything fuzzy. According to the website, it's made of "The finest wholesome ingredients like cracked wheat, sunflower seeds, oats, barley, brown rice and molasses create a delicious, hearty taste in each slice."

Arnold's will be my bread of choice from now on. We have about four slices left, so maybe by September, it will be time to purchase another loaf.