Time to be thankful

It's that time of the year when everyone thinks about what they are thankful for, so here's my list.

• My husband.  We've been married a little more than four years and I am thankful that the happy days outnumber the sad ones. He is my best friend.
• My family.  I could not imagine not talking with my sisters and parents several times a week. They are the best!
• My in-laws. Even though I am spending the holiday away from my parents and sisters, I am thankful for my in-laws. I am thankful that my in-laws and I have a great relationship and I actually look forward to spending time with them.
• My job. While I took a buyout from the newspaper and my last day is Dec . 10, I am thankful that for the last five+ years I've worked for a thoughtful family who offered their employees generous buyouts rather than laying us off without a severance package.
• Friends. I have dear friends from childhood, college and later in life who help to fulfill my life.
• Spanx. After not losing the weight I planned in anticipation of Friday's formal event, I'm thankful for the Spanx that will help hold in my stomach.
• Cheap gas.  After paying upwards of $3.69 a gallon for gas over the summer, I'm thankful that I filled up for $1.99 a gallon today for supreme.
• The spa. I try to get a facial every six to eight weeks. I'm going Friday and can't wait to pamper myself.
• Reality TV. It's my guilty pleasure.
• Car washes. When my car is clean, it makes me smile :)
• President-Elect Barack Obama. I'm thankful for the hope he has brought and will bring in 2009.

What are you thankful for?

The DINKS are getting kids

My husband and I are DINKS - Double  Income No Kids. And we like it that way because we love our freedom - financial freedom, travel freedom, everything freedom.

But things are changing, temporarily.

My two nieces, age seven and 15 months, will be staying with us the last week of the year. My older sister, the mother of the girls, and my mother were on the phone one night, when my sister asked my mother if the girls could stay in Memphis the last week of the year because she and her husband have to return to work and the girls' school and daycare are closed that week.

Since I took a buyout from my job at the paper (my last day is Dec. 10) I jumped at the opportunity to take care of my nieces, who I see about four times a year since they live in Ohio.  My mother voiced immediate concern over the girls staying with my husband and me for a week.

"It's not just a weekend," she warned, probably remembering how I complained about how Kaylee, the youngest, ran me wild when I saw her Labor Day weekend.  She's at that age where everything is a toy that she MUST touch.

While we don't want kids, we do love them, and I cannot wait to take care of the Kendall and Kaylee.  I'm looking forward to spending more than just the weekend with them.  We're going to have true quality time. We will spend our days at the library, Barnes and Nobel and exploring New York City. Kendall is already talking about visiting the Statue of Liberty and is excited to ride the subway.

Kaylee will be too young to remember her first week in Jersey, but hopefully, Kendall will remember this week for life. 

Good or bad, I know I will.

Race matters

Sometimes, it's not about race. But today, it is.

It's the day after our nation elected Barack Obama, who will serve as the first black president of the United States of America, and I'm still stunned by his sweeping victory. While this win will be savored by Democrats, the Republicans who just couldn't vote their party line and the countries around the world who were rooting for the senator, black Americans will probably relish in this victory the most.

And I want blacks to celebrate harder, longer and with tears in our eyes because of our history in America. Our history of slavery. Our history of segregation. Our history of beatings, hangings, burnings and mutilations because of the color of our skin. Our history of being denied to vote. Our history of unequal opportunities for good schools, fair housing and well-paying jobs. And to think some of that violent, sad history was as recent as 40 years ago. But what's even more disheartening, is that some of that "history" still goes on today.

But even with that history, because of Obama's win, when my 7-year-old niece looks into my eyes and asks if she can be president of the United States, I can finally say "yes."

Because of Obama's win, little black boys, raised by single mothers, will finally have a role model.

And maybe I'm stretching here, but it's my hope that gun-toting blacks, who drive up black-on-black crime statistics, will think twice before pulling the trigger because of Obama's win.

People who didn't have hope before yesterday, now have something to grab on to.

It is amazing to think that come Jan. 20, our nation will be led by a black man - a black man who 143 years ago could have been a slave. America took baby steps in getting to where we are today. It took 44 presidents to elect a black man and he will have a presidency like no other. Not only because the economy has tanked; our troops are fighting two senseless wars and millions of Americas need health care, but because most blacks have to work twice as hard to get half as far. So, some people will hold Obama to a higher standard than previous presidents. I wouldn't wish the weight Obama carries on his shoulder on my worse enemy.

But Obama warned Americans last night that it could take longer than one year or maybe even one term to get the nation back on track. It took President George W. Bush eight years to make his mess, so Obama shouldn't be expected to clean it up overnight.

But even before the first national problem is addressed, Obama is well on his way to fixing the problem of hopelessness in black Americans.

History was made today

I am not a morning person, but I was wide awake at 5:15 this morning, eager to get to the voting booth. Since Barack Obama was named the Democratic presidential nominee, I have been looking forward to Nov. 4.

I vote in every election, and when I say, every, I mean every. With a mother who is a retired American History teacher, my degree in African-American Studies and just being a black woman, I know my people's history when it comes to voting - or being denied to vote. And because of that, I never miss an election - casting my ballot is something I take very seriously.

I arrived at the polling location at 6 a.m. and there were already hundreds of people waiting in line. I live in a majority black neighborhood, so most of the people in line were black.

I just smiled. I stopped. I looked at the line. I took it all in.

Never before, in my 15-year voting history, have I seen such a sight: Proud black people who could not wait to vote. I was nearly moved to tears.

Everyone was friendly. People were laughing and talking. There were no strangers in line. We were one family on a mission - to elect Obama. I don't want to assume that just because people are black that they're going to vote for Obama, but everyone around me was an Obama supporter.

I spoke with an 18-year-old who was voting for the first time. She did her part today in making history.

I talked with a 60-year-old who has voted the last 30 years.

"Today is different," he said.

Different in a good way, I thought.

I am only 33 years old and I never thought I would have the chance to vote for a black man for the president of the United States, so I cannot imagine how people my parents and grandparents age feel today.

I have always been proud of my race, my history filled with struggles, challenges and successes. But today, "proud" is too weak a word to describe how I feel. I'm walking a little taller. I'm smiling a little wider. No matter the outcome, today, I made history.

Churches must toe the line during elections

Over the last couple of months, my older sister, who lives in Ohio, has been sharing with me her pastors' comments about the election.

She and her family attend Solid Rock Church in Monroe, where the pastors, Lawrence and Darlene Bishop, have been making comments about how Christians shouldn't support a candidate who is pro-choice. And we all know which candidate is pro-choice.

The Bishops have been very careful in not mentioning names, I assume because they know that churches cannot endorse political candidates because of their tax-exempt status. The Internal Revenue Service says churches may pass out voting guides as long as they don't endorse candidates. Also, it's legal for religious groups to take positions on public-policy issues, including issues that divide candidates in an election, which is what the Bishops did, without using GOP Presidential Nominee John McCain's name.

But Sunday, the Bishops went a step further in their mission. They invited Apostle Kimberly Daniels to the church to give an anti-abortion talk. Daniels, who is the founder of Florida-based Spoken Word Ministries, which is, according to the website, "an inner-city, multi-racial church with a vision to reach the lost for Jesus Christ and to train them to do the greater works," demonstrated who she is planning to vote for by showing a slide show featuring pictures of aborted fetus'.

Daniels' message was so powerful that my sister and brother-in-law, who are lifelong Democrats, were actually considering voting for McCain. And who wouldn't after pictures of aborted fetus' are shoved in your face? That doubt in the voter's mind is what the Bishops wanted.

My sister said the Bishops, over the last couple of months, and Daniels on Sunday, have been trying to make people feel guilty for supporting Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama. Their message was Christians should be pro-life. In my opinion, the two can co-exist. The beliefs co-exist in me. I am a Christian, yet I am pro-choice. I should be able to do whatever I please to my body, because it's my body.

People should be able to come to their own conclusions about which candidate they support without being threatened or told they will burn in Hell for supporting someone who, like everyone else, has the right to believe what he believes. There is more to Obama than being pro-choice, just like there is more to McCain than being pro-life. Solid Rock's approach to the election was simplified, when it should not have been. Does education, healthcare and economy not matter? I guess not, if you fall under Solid Rock's definition of a Christian.

Goodwill is on the come up

My husband and I are attending a 70s disco benefit gala Saturday and 70s attire is encouraged. I was thinking we would just stop by our local Goodwill Industries store, spend about $15 each and walk out with fly outfits.

We went to the Goodwill store Saturday and were blown away by the modern merchandise. There were no obvious 70s clothes - polyester bell bottoms, leisure suits, mini skirts with screaming patterns or tall white patent-leather boots. 

I thumbed through the dress section and saw cute clothes from J. Crew, The Limited and Express. Name brands. Stuff I would wear today. 

I walked over to my husband who was looking at the shirts. There was nothing stretchy or shiny to be found.

I overheard two teenage girls who were scanning items looking for clothes that could be used for Halloween costumes. They were also empty-handed.

The image of Goodwill has changed from hobo, 60s and 70s clothes to up-to-date, slightly used items. It's good that people who have to shop at Goodwill for clothes to wear to work and school have a nice trendy selection. 

We left without buying anything. The next day, we visited a seasonal Halloween store and bought mac daddy and mac mama outfits. 

Blacks burn, too.

That's a picture of my sunburned, peeling leg. Look at it! It's disgusting, right?!

Contrary to popular belief, blacks can sunburn and peel, too.

Earlier this month, my husband and I spent six days in Turks and Caicos in the Caribbean for our 4th wedding anniversary. We literally laid by the pool and on the beach for five of the six days. The sun in T&C is like no other I've experienced and I grew up in Memphis.

I've always liked to tan a bit because I've always thought my skin was slightly pale. I love the golden color my skin turns once the sun hits it, so I was really excited about going to the beach to lay out. My goal was to get tan!

Little did I know that black people burn in the sun, too. I noticed my white friends every summer with their red skin, tan and burned. I never thought that would happen to me. My skin didn't turn red, but by the last day while laying out at the pool, it was on fire. But I left the island with a gorgeous, golden tan.

A week later, still glowing,  my left arm started to peel. It was spotted, like a bad case of eczema. The next week, which was last week, my legs went. This morning, I saw a little dry spot on my right thigh.

I'm tan on just about every part of my body, so I'm dreading what's to come. I'm constantly putting on lotion, trying to keep my skin moisturized because I don't like to see my dry, peeling skin. I've learned a tough lesson about the sun. Blacks do burn. Blacks do peel, so stay out of the sun!

I've been bought out!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

On Aug. 4, I signed buyout papers at New Jersey's largest newspaper. Today, I found out that I was approved to take the buyout!

I'm wondering why I don't feel sad about leaving the news business - it's been my life for the last 11 years, 13 if you include the two years I wrote for The Daily Beacon at The University of Tennessee in Knoxville. Some of my co-workers, who have been dreaming about getting the buyout for the last two months, where walking around in a daze after finding out they got it. Maybe I will feel some sort of melancholy emotion on my last day, which will probably be Dec. 10. Until then, I'm all smiles.

News will always have a special place in my heart, but I feel as if the world is my oyster right now. I have a chance to start over. I feel like a kid talking about what she wants to be when she grows up.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love event planning. My friends call me "Martha Stewart." So, maybe I will start an event and wedding-planning business.

An easy transition from journalism is public relations. I actually interviewed with a firm in NYC Tuesday and was offered the job Wednesday, but the president of the company and I just couldn't agree on the salary, so I had to turn down the offer. I was flattered I got the offer so fast and beat out three other candidates, but my skills and talents were worth more than she was paying. I haven't given up on PR, though. It was one interview. One firm. There are thousands out there.

I could also freelance full time. Oh, the thought of not having to go into an office everyday makes me smile. I could write from my couch, in my PJ's, comfy and cozy.

I'll be walking away from my newspaper with enough money to be comfortable for a while, so I can take my time and figure out what my next move will be.

The world is at my fingertips and I love it!

Where's the maverick?

Two shots of Cabo Wabo tequila sat on the coffee table in my den last night. After being slightly bored during the last presidential debate, my husband and I thought we'd make it interesting by taking a shot every time GOP Presidential Nominee John McCain said "maverick." He said it so many times during the last debate, we were sure we'd be nice and buzzed by the end of the night.

Ninety minutes later, the shots of tequila were still there. McCain never referred to himself as a "maverick." So instead, we tossed back the liquor in honor of Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama.

I can't get inside McCain's head, but maybe his team told him he overdid it with the "maverick" term during the second debate. Or maybe he read the article in the New York Times that gave the history of the term "maverick," which has nothing to do with the nominee's principles.

According to The Times article, "In the 1800s, Samuel Augustus Maverick went to Texas and became known for not branding his cattle. He was more interested in keeping track of the land he owned than the livestock on it, Terrellita Maverick said; unbranded cattle, then, were called 'Maverick’s.' The name came to mean anyone who didn’t bear another’s brand."

The Mavericks of Texas, who are known for their progressive ideas, are upset that McCain refers to himself as a "maverick."

“I’m just enraged that McCain calls himself a maverick,” said Terrellita Maverick, 82, a San Antonio native told The Times. “It’s just incredible — the nerve! — to suggest that he’s not part of that Republican herd. Every time we hear it, all my children and I and all my family shrink a little and say, ‘Oh, my God, he said it again.’ ”

Maybe McCain got word from Texas to stop referring to himself as something he's not. Or maybe he just wanted a different strategy last night. Either way, my husband and I only had one shot and it really didn't count.

We should have taken a shot every time McCain said "Joe the plumber."

Maids aren't made for me

I love a clean house, but hate to clean. So, the thought of hiring a housekeeper has crossed my mind more than once. The only thing that's stopped me is while I don't like to clean, my life isn't so hectic that I don't have time to do it.

While we were in Turks and Caicos last week, we stayed at The Somerset, a lovely well-appointed resort that offers twice daily maid service. For someone who's dreamed of hiring a maid, I was so uncomfortable when she arrived and started cleaning.

My husband and I were only in the room once - the day it rained - during her visits. But sitting there watching TV as she stripped the bed, cleaned the bathrooms, loaded and started the dishwasher, swept and mopped the floors and dusted the furniture was such a strange feeling.

We've stayed in hotels and bed and breakfasts across the country and world and it's always nice to come back to a clean room. But I never picture someone actually cleaning the room. Day after day, I've just appreciated a made bed, fresh towels and a clean bathroom. But being in the room while the maid is cleaning made me feel badly for the housekeeper. Yes, I was grateful she had a job, but watching her do her job made me squirm.

I felt guilty.

Guilty that I was on vacation and she wasn't.

Guilty that I was perfectly capable of cleaning the room, but she was.

Guilty that I could afford to stay at the luxury resort, but she probably couldn't.

It made me think twice about wanting to hire a maid. I've been blessed with a good job and a nice house that I need to clean - not someone else.