One-armed host should spark diversity discussion not dissention

Cerrie Burnell has ignited a controversy in London because the one-armed actress was hired by the BBC as a children's television host.

Burnell was born with an incomplete right arm that ends in a stump at her elbow and parents are worried that the host's arm will scare their children.

Most children are naturally inquisitive and ask innocent questions that many adults are embarrassed by. And Burnell said children do ask questions.

"Children come up to me in the street every day and say 'What's that?' I wouldn't say they're frightened, but certainly they're inquisitive," Burnell said in an interview. ''I would always take the time to explain to a child. All they want is an explanation."

But while children want an explanation, adults wanted Burnell off the air. Parents complained to the network that their children would have nightmares after seeing Burnell. Rather than complaining to the network, parents should have used the situation to explain to their children about differences and diversity and how to appreciate and respect them.

Sir Bert Massie of Great Britian's Equality and Human Rights Commission said, "I think what's happening is a number of adults do have prejudices, do have very negative views about disabled people, and instead of admitting the views are their own, they're projecting them onto their children."

I hope the parents who complained take a second look at the situation and their insecurities with people with disabilities and teach their children to embrace the diversity in people, not fear it.

Red Box Block

My husband and I used the redbox last night for the first time. We rented "Swing Vote." I gave it a C+ and Phillip gave it a solid B+.

If you're not familiar with redbox, it's a red box - literally - that dispenses movies for $1 each. The movies are due back by 9 p.m. the next night. The redbox has all of the new releases that Blockbuster and Netflix have, but for a much cheaper price, which may explain why some of the Blockbuster stores are closing.

There are more than 12,000 redboxes across the United States. It's convenient to just run into your local grocery store, Wal-Mart, etc. and select a movie. The box spits it out. And it should be just as easy to return the movie.

But when I went into my local grocery store tonight, I couldn't immediately return the movie because the redbox was full. 

What?!

A message appeared on the screen indicating that the redbox wasn't accepting videos because it was full. I was instructed to find another redbox. It was 10 minutes to 9 p.m. and I didn't know where the next closest redbox was.

Yes, the late fee would have only been $1, but it's the principle that the redbox should be convenient, but it wasn't. 

A second after I received the "I'm too full to eat another video" message, another customer walked up. I asked him to go ahead of me because if he rented a video, the redbox would hopefully accept mine.

It did.

I lucked up tonight with the customer walking up right after me. But I would have had to pay an unnecessary late fee if I would have missed the deadline for no fault of mine. 

I understand that redbox is new, but I hope the execs are working out the kinks to make returning videos as easy as it is to rent them.

Budgeting 101

For the six years after I graduated from college, I was living check to check. I was a struggling journalist, with a starting salary at my first paper in 1997 of $22,000. I was told by a college counselor that you should at least be making your age in thousands plus two when you graduate from college. I was 22 when I graduated. I didn't make the cut.

In 2000, I left Tennessee for New Jersey to write for a larger paper. My salary was around $24,000 when I left and it jumped to $37,000 when I moved. But even with the bump, I was moving to a place with one of the highest cost of livings in the nation, not to mention the highest car insurance in the nation. I got two raises in the 14 months at that paper before I was promoted to a larger paper within the company and that came with a decent raise. Two and a half years later, I landed at my dream paper and my salary doubled! That was 2003. And for the first two years I was there, I was getting raises every six months!

Since 2003 I have not lived on a budget. I wasn't living check to check. I could buy $100 shoes without thinking about it; $1,000+ bags and not feel the hit. I bought a BMW. I was shopping freely and not worrying about the bills getting paid, because there was plenty of money to go around.

But now, I am forced to live on a budget again. I took a buyout in December from my dream paper. I was fortunate enough to get a year's salary and benefits and I'm collecting about half of my salary from unemployment, but the job front is so depressing right now, it may take me longer than a year to find a job.

So, I enrolled in a debt free and budgeting class at my church. I'm three weeks into the nine-week workshop. Since then, I've curbed my spending and thinking twice about my purchases.

Here's a list of what I've done so far to save money:

• I use Chanel mascara, which is $30 a tube. I ran out two weeks ago. But rather than buying another tube, I found some L'Oreal mascara that I got free at an event. The brush wasn't nearly as good as the Chanel brush, so I'm using the Chanel brush in the L'Oreal mascara. $30 saved.
• I like to get a facial every eight weeks. The facial is $90. I knew I wanted to continue that treat through my unemployment, so I asked for spa gift certificates for Christmas to get me through a few treatments. When I got a facial on Friday, it was free for me, and that included the tip.
• I had a subscription to O at Home, which recently folded. I got a postcard in the mail the other day saying the remainder of my subscription would be transferred to O, The Oprah Magazine, but if I didn't want O, I could get my money back. I have enough magazine subscriptions, so I opted to get my money back. $17 saved.
• Phillip and I aren't crazy about leftovers and end up wasting a lot of food. But for the last two weeks, I've been making meals that will last three nights, like lasagna or soup. If food is left after three nights, I freeze it rather than throw it out.
• I've been freelancing, which provides a few hundred dollars a month.
• And I used a cobbler for the first time in my life. I have some really cute black boots, but the sole needed repairing. The old me would have thrown out the boots and spent about $150 on another pair. Instead, I paid $25 to have the boots repaired and now, they will last at least one more season.

It's been a slow process, but each effort will add up to budget success.

Celebrity should not have bought Phelps' freedom

A South Carolina sheriff said yesterday that he didn't have enough physical evidence to charge 14-time gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps with smoking marijuana from a pipe after a photo of the Olympian surfaced in a British newspaper last month.

"We had a photo and him saying he was sorry for inappropriate behavior. He never said, '"I smoked marijuana,'" the sheriff said.

When do police not charge a suspect because he didn't admit to the crime? If that's all that had to be done, then future law breakers I hope you're taking notes. You can be in the picture doing the crime, then apologize for the behavior, but as long as you don't admit to the deed, you'll get off scott free!

If it were you or me in the photo and police got their hands on it, we'd be charged. 

Even though the sheriff said Phelps is obligated to "obey the laws of our state," I can't help but believe the swimmer was given special treatment because of his celebrity status.

While he won't be charged, Phelps was suspended from competition for three months from USA Swimming and Kellogg Co. dropped him as a sponsor.

This was Phelps' second strike and he's gotten off easy both times. In 2004, he was arrested for drunk driving and pleaded guilty, but didn't do any time.  I hope he's learned his lesson because on the third strike, the police, sheriff or judge may not be as lenient.

Are high heels worth the pain?

"It is the flagrant lack of practicality that makes high-heeled shoes so fascinating." --Stephen Bayley

I have about 40 pairs of high-heeled shoes, from boots (calf and ankle) to open toed to mary janes and strappy sandals. I love the look of a high-heeled shoe, but if you asked me if I prefer high heels to flats, flats would be my answer without a doubt.

Flats are comfortable. They are cute and they work with pants, skirts and dresses. High heels can be very sexy, but comfortable, they are not!

In an attempt to be sexier for both myself and my husband, I decided to ditch the flats this past weekend and don some high heels. We had plans in the New York City Friday night - we saw Esperanza Spalding at the Jazz Standard. Because it was in the City, I wanted to get dressed up, so I wore these BCBGirls patent-leather booties my husband surprised me with a couple of months ago. They have a sexy three-inch heel, which makes me think they were more a gift for him, than me. 

But I digress.

These booties are adorable, but I can only get about a half hour of standing in them before I want to chop off my feet. Once in the city, we walked about eight blocks from the train station to the club. First mistake - we should have taken a cab. Then, we waited on line for about 30 minutes. By the time we got to our table, my feet were on fire. But they calmed down during the concert and afterwards, we took a cab back to the train station.

Saturday night, still trying to be sexy, I wore another pair of high-heeled booties. I've had these Steven shoes for at least six months, but have never worn them out of the house. I put them on one Saturday I was planning to have lunch with friends in NYC and never made it out of the house. The pain was ridiculous. I grabbed my flats that day.

Well, I thought I'd give these shoes another try, since there would be very little walking that evening. The walk from the parking lot to Christopher's in New Brunswick was about four minutes. I made it there without a problem. However, the pain set in at the table. Just sitting there, my feet started to hurt. I don't think the shoes are too small, they went on comfortably enough, but maybe it was the newness and the fact that they hadn't stretched, but lord have mercy, my feet were killing me by the time we left the restaurant.

So, the four-minute walk back to the car was painful. I was doing the walk you see women do when they look like their feet hurt. You know, the half limp, half still trying to be cute walk?

I couldn't wait to get out of those shoes!

Sunday morning, when the alarm went off for church, I jumped out of bed and landed on a huge cramp in my left calf. I could barely walk. It was those damned high-heels all weekend. Ugh! 

According to the American Podiatric Medical Association (APMA), 42 percent of women admitted they'd wear a shoe they liked even if it hurt; 73 percent admitted they already have a shoe-related foot issue.

Women will always wear high-heeled shoes and even I will eventually pull mine back out of the closet, when my calf stops hurting. So, the APMA offers the following tips for women who wear high heels:

1. Get the best fitting high heel as possible.

2. Cushion, cushion, cushion, That's for the bottom of your feet because with age, we lose fatty deposits on the bottom of our feet.

3. I know they aren't as cute, but we should wear a thicker heel for more stability.

4. Pay attention to the slope or pitch of the heel.

5. Wear open-toed heels to relieve pressure on corns and calluses.

When marrying for love isn't an option

I had an interesting and surprising discussion tonight with a close friend about when do you give up on love and marry for companionship and shared goals.

The discussion spawned from us talking about a book, "Love Walked In," by Marisa De Los Santos, in which two characters married because they had spent a lifetime as friends, but weren't really in love with each other when they tied the knot.

I mentioned that I didn't understand why anyone would marry for anything but love. My friend, who is single and in her 30s, said the thought has crossed her mind. 

I was shocked to hear her say this. I told her that, for me, love is up there with trust and respect. Why marry if you don't marry for love? 

She said if she remains single, it may come down just being able to find someone she shares common goals with and with whom she can raise a family.

Still shocked, I told her that she might as well have an arranged marriage. I said I would rather she scratch off items from her wish list, such as no kids or some other baggage, before she gives up on love.

"You would just be marrying for companionship," I said.

"When you're alone, companionship becomes really important," she replied.

I completely realized that I was coming from a different - married - point of view, but I still think marriage is too serious a step to create a union with someone you're not in love with. It would be torture waiting for the day when you fall in love with that person.  

Oath Do Over

President Barack Obama retook the Oath of Office last night after Chief Justice John Roberts flubbed the words during Tuesday's inauguration ceremony.

I gasped twice during the oath - when Obama jumped the gun on the first line and when it appeared he forgot the line about faithfully executing the Office of the President. My heart actually sank when Obama tripped up because I knew millions of eyes were watching and some actually wanted him to mess up. 

I quickly found out - thanks to MSNBC - that it was the judge who messed up the line and not the president and immediately felt badly for him. It was such a special moment for Obama that he could never have again. 

Even with the president and judge stumbling their way through the oath, those words didn't matter. According to the United States Constitution, the change of power takes place at noon, whether the oath has been said or not. The oath was taken at 12:04 p.m.

But even with the certainty of the Constitution backing the legality of the office, the White House counsel suggested that Obama and Roberts redo the oath. I can only imagine that the moment was terribly anti-climatic and may have over shadowed the first oath.

I didn't think Obama should have retaken the oath, but I guess he wanted to be more safe than sorry since there are people who would have tired to challenge his title.

Mr. President

Today, history was made.

Barack H. Obama was sworn in as the nation's first black president.

My husband and I planned to attend the inauguration and even went as far as to book a hotel room in D.C. in May, in anticipation of Obama's victory. But, since we didn't get tickets to the swearing in, and knew we'd have a better view at home, we decided at the last minute to avoid the crowds and cold weather and watch the festivities from our warm home. 

Whether in New Jersey or the nation's capital, the day was filled with emotion. I got chills at the first look of then the president-elect and his wife as they entered St. Joseph's Church. And I cried when Obama walked, coolly and calmly, down the hall before exiting the doors onto the Capitol where he took the oath of office.

I've mentioned this in my blogs before, but it's so amazing to me that America has a black president. I'm 33 years old and I didn't think this would happen in my lifetime. But today, a black man was sworn in as the president of the greatest country in the world. He stood on the same steps that his ancestors built. Amazing.

When I pray for my family and friends at night, I will include the first family. I will ask God to protect them, to give the president the insight to lead with humility and to embrace with courage the enormous responsibility that now lies on his shoulders.

Thank you, Dr. King

I feel safe in writing that today's observance of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday means more this year than it has in the past.

It's more than a day off from school or work, more than a day to lounge around the house, vegg out and watch T.V. It's a day to reflect both the sacrifices of the past and the opportunities of the future. 

Tomorrow, when President-Elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as the nation's 44th president and America's first black president, would not have been possible without the struggles of Dr. King and the rest of the soldiers in the Civil Rights Movement. 

It's amazing to think that just 40 years ago, Obama would have had to drink from a "Colored Only" water fountain, would have had to sit in the back of the bus and probably would have been turned away from the voting both.

But because people wanted change, not just on Nov. 4, but over time, I was able to walk in a voting booth without being harassed or threatened and vote for a black man. It literally warms my heart.

While America still has work to do to make sure everyone has equal opportunity, I cannot help but think that Dr. King is sitting in Heaven smiling because his dream has been achieved.

Thank you, Dr. King.

  

Big box ain't so bad

I've had a membership to someone's wholesale club, be it Sam's, Costco or BJ's, for four years, but today was the first time I actually used it for what most people use their memberships for - buying everyday household items in bulk.

My husband and I got our first membership right before our first annual holiday party. We needed a place to buy tons of appetizers and liquor at rock-bottom prices. We belonged to Sam's Club then. We paid $40 for the annual membership and stepped foot in the warehouse once that year  - the day we got the membership.

The next year, we accidentally let the membership expire before we bought more appetizers and liquor for the holiday party, so we renewed, bought what we needed that day and never visited again.

When we returned the following December, we found out that Sam's wasn't selling liquor anymore, so we decided to try BJ's, even though that warehouse didn't tell alcohol either.

After paying the $35 membership fee, we bought the appetizers and returned the following December, which was last month. We thought we would have to renew the membership, but found out it expires next month. We made a vow then to visit BJ's a couple of times before the membership expired.

I've never liked bulk shopping and really didn't want to take the time to make room in our closets for 150 rolls of toilet paper or a super-sized bottle of Tide that's large enough for 500 loads. But today, I finally saw what all the fuss has been about: saving money. 

You really can't beat 16 bars of Lever 2000 for $7.49 or four tubes of Colgate Total, plus a toothbrush, for $9.99. I found four giant containers of Clorox Wipes for $9.49; 200 Glad freezer bags for $7.99 and 48 Swiffer mop pads for $12.49. I also found great deals on Ocean Spray cranberry juice, Windex, Puffs Plus, Tilex and a couple of books.

I used to laugh at the folks who would stuff their closets with those giant household items, but now, ours are stuffed - with savings!