Ale and altercations

Two weeks ago, Harvard University Professor Henry Louis Gates was arrested for allegedly being loud and tumultuous at his home. The charges were dropped a couple of days later.

His arrest sparked a discussion about race in America because Gates called the officer racist while he was being arrested.

The arrest has been in the news just about every day since July 16, when the incident happened, because President Barack Obama, who is friends with Gates, said publicly that the officer, Sgt. James Crowley, acted "stupidly" in arresting Gates. Obama later cleaned up his remarks saying that both Gates and Crowley overreacted. Going one step further, the president suggested that he, Gates and Crowley have a beer at the White House.

That meeting over beer took place yesterday.

While the comments made during the meeting have been kept private, Gates said the talk was "cordial and productive." He and the sergeant plan to meet again.

While I hate that Gates was arrested, I hope something positive can spawn from the incident. Americans need to be talking about race. I will not call Crowley, who leads workshops to reduce racial profiling, racist, but there are still racists in America and the world. Just because there is a black man in the White House, doesn't mean racism isn't still perpetuated every day.

And here are two examples: Earlier this week, Boston Police Officer Justin Barrett was suspended from the force for writing a racially-charged email about Gates, referring to him as a "jungle monkey." And the Manhattan Borough President's Press Secretary Lee Landor was forced to step down two days ago after posting on her Facebook page that Gates is "racist," referring to Obama as "O-dumb-a" and saying that racial profiling exists for a good reason.

And these were the just the incidents by public officials - just think of what happens with private citizens.

We need to take every opportunity to discuss race, to celebrate diversity and work to understand our differences. Use this teachable moment for something good.

Props to Hoda Kotb

I'm a huge fan of the "Today Show," especially the fourth hour with Kathie Lee and Hoda. While I like them equally, this morning, I had to give it up to Hoda Kotb.

The two were in San Antonio as part of a "Today Show" goes on vacation special and there was an animal segment. If you are a "Today Show" watcher, you know Hoda is not crazy about animals. It looks as if she tolerates them for the sake of her job. Well, this morning, Hoda held a buzzard, yes a buzzard, on her cowgirl hat for a couple of minutes. The bird even jumped from Hoda's hat to Kathie Lee's and back to Hoda's. I was nervous just watching.

Hoda looked terrified, but was a real trooper. There were also armadillo, rattle snake and wolf on set.

Interacting with animals would be the one thing that would freaked me out, too, if I were in Hoda's position, and there seems to be a weekly animal segment on the "Today Show." I didn't grow up with animals, so I'm not an animal lover. I could pass a cute dog on the street and ignore it. A sweet kitten could walk between my legs and I would just step over it. Most birds frighten me and let's not even get into farm animals!

But for the sake of not looking foolish, Hoda put aside her fears this morning, as she does every time she's around an animal, and took one for nature.

Props to Hoda!

Cool nights welcome

Over Memorial Day weekend, Phillip and I bought a patio set for our deck. So, lately, we've been eating outside, or just sitting on the deck and enjoying New Jersey's cool nights.

A couple of weeks ago, on an especially cool night, we talked about how great it would be if we had a fire pit. On Saturday, we bought one.

Saturday night, I grilled pizza and we sat outside eating and enjoying wine and beer being warmed by our new fire pit. We even toasted marsh mellows for dessert.

Other than my hair still smelling like smoke, it was great. The fire provided the right touch to a nice, late night dinner outside.

Are you chilly around children?

When Phillip and I got married nearly five years ago, the plan was to have a child-free day. One, we didn't want babies crying throughout the ceremony, messing up our video, and two, we didn't want to pay $60 for a child to eat - or not eat.

We kindly indicated in our invitation that the celebration was "an adult-only affair," and on the inner envelop, you know the one that lists who is actually invited to the wedding, we only listed the adults in the household.

But we received RSVP cards that were intended for just Mr. and Mrs. with Mr., Mrs., and their two, three and four kids. Either people didn't read the invitation or just ignored our request.

So, I had to make a couple of uncomfortable telephone calls to explain that Phillip and I didn't want children at our wedding, no matter how cute. Most understood, but a couple tried to stand their ground, explaining that their child is a baby, so he won't be running around and there's no need to include him in the count for the reception. But babies cry, something I never want to deal with, especially on my wedding day.

In yesterday's New York Times' Social Qs, someone asked if they were wrong in hosting an adult-only affair in their home. The couple thought they had every right to exclude kids, but some of the guests made them feel less than PC for not wanting kids there.

"Well, blood is thicker than water - which may explain the parental insistence - but it's harder to get out of the living rug. You did nothing wrong, dear hostess," is what Philip Galanes replied.

I completely agree. It's your event, so you drive the guest list. If parents can't find or won't get a babysitter, stay at home.