Lately, when I've announced to friends that "I have news," they automatically assume that I'm pregnant.
I've been married nearly four years to a man who would make a wonderful father, but right now, we've decided to join the DINK club - Double Income No Kids.
Friends who were married around the same time as we were started having children two years ago. We weren't ready then and we're not ready now! So, stop asking us to have a child so little Johnnie or darling Elizabeth will have a playmate. While I love kids (I have two nieces who I absolutely adore!), I sometimes think that parents want DINKs to join their club because misery loves company.
When friends ask why we haven't had children, we reply that we love our independence too much. I love that I don't have to hire a babysitter when my husband and I have a date night. I love that we can book a flight with two weeks notice for a long weekend halfway across the country and not worry about who's watching the kids. And I love that if we don't feel like cooking for two weeks straight, we won't feel guilty about feeding our kids take-out. We just went three weeks without any substantial grocery shopping; our home isn't really kid friendly these days. With my parents in Memphis and sisters in Ohio and Arkansas, and my in-laws in Jersey, but two hours away, we can't easily rely on family to step in when we want a night out. And yes, it's our fault, but we can't even tell you our neighbors' names, so they're out, too.
I'm not sure how long we will be DINKs. We're not anti-children, just pro-independence. While I think I would eventually make a great mother, I know my limits and right now, I'm selfish, impatient and would rather spend my money on a fabulous Gucci bag than daycare!
Open-toe booties: Are they the schizo shoe?
14 years ago
4 comments:
Amen!! I guess I'm part of the SINK (Single Income No Kids) movement. With the rise of independent professional single women having children with their sperm donors, I choose to stay childless. I know I'm not getting any younger, and that's what most of single professional women think, and Lord knows the availability to decent black men is slim pickings, has women carpooling to sperm banks.
Don't let your friends take you down that road of "you'd be a great mother". It's good that you know you like your independence and take the necessary precautions to keep it that way!
Although I'm not married if I was...I would sign up for DINK in a heartbeat.
Cute...
I concur with Torri---obviously regarding the "don't let your friends..." part, as I am an elated MILF (sure you know what that means and it includes an expletive so if you don't know google it.) At any rate, I applaud women who recognize the appropriateness of and sacrifice required by motherhood.
I committed to starting early because I had no intention of being some old @&& mother or worse some old mother with ppd shocked b/c of the major transition. Besides, I'll need someone to nag when I'm 70. Nothing is better than loving your life. I think Ralph Waldo Emerson has a quote that says pretty much the same. Oh well, keep blogging.
BTW (lmao "carpooling to sperm banks") also add "& to fertility doctors when they are 39".
You don't know what you are missing! On occaision I miss the "independent" life, but there is not one single materialistic purchase in the WORLD that can compare to the love and joy I experience with my children...and I've got my hands full, believe me!
Enjoy your time, and hopefully you'll have as many blessings as I have!
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