When marrying for love isn't an option

I had an interesting and surprising discussion tonight with a close friend about when do you give up on love and marry for companionship and shared goals.

The discussion spawned from us talking about a book, "Love Walked In," by Marisa De Los Santos, in which two characters married because they had spent a lifetime as friends, but weren't really in love with each other when they tied the knot.

I mentioned that I didn't understand why anyone would marry for anything but love. My friend, who is single and in her 30s, said the thought has crossed her mind. 

I was shocked to hear her say this. I told her that, for me, love is up there with trust and respect. Why marry if you don't marry for love? 

She said if she remains single, it may come down just being able to find someone she shares common goals with and with whom she can raise a family.

Still shocked, I told her that she might as well have an arranged marriage. I said I would rather she scratch off items from her wish list, such as no kids or some other baggage, before she gives up on love.

"You would just be marrying for companionship," I said.

"When you're alone, companionship becomes really important," she replied.

I completely realized that I was coming from a different - married - point of view, but I still think marriage is too serious a step to create a union with someone you're not in love with. It would be torture waiting for the day when you fall in love with that person.