When Phillip and I got married nearly five years ago, the plan was to have a child-free day. One, we didn't want babies crying throughout the ceremony, messing up our video, and two, we didn't want to pay $60 for a child to eat - or not eat.
We kindly indicated in our invitation that the celebration was "an adult-only affair," and on the inner envelop, you know the one that lists who is actually invited to the wedding, we only listed the adults in the household.
But we received RSVP cards that were intended for just Mr. and Mrs. with Mr., Mrs., and their two, three and four kids. Either people didn't read the invitation or just ignored our request.
So, I had to make a couple of uncomfortable telephone calls to explain that Phillip and I didn't want children at our wedding, no matter how cute. Most understood, but a couple tried to stand their ground, explaining that their child is a baby, so he won't be running around and there's no need to include him in the count for the reception. But babies cry, something I never want to deal with, especially on my wedding day.
In yesterday's New York Times' Social Qs, someone asked if they were wrong in hosting an adult-only affair in their home. The couple thought they had every right to exclude kids, but some of the guests made them feel less than PC for not wanting kids there.
"Well, blood is thicker than water - which may explain the parental insistence - but it's harder to get out of the living rug. You did nothing wrong, dear hostess," is what Philip Galanes replied.
I completely agree. It's your event, so you drive the guest list. If parents can't find or won't get a babysitter, stay at home.
1 comment:
I agree that people have the right to determine who is invited to an event that they host. However, the host/hostess must be prepared to possibly lose friends or face a cold shoulder or two for a while. I had a friend that excluded children from her wedding and I was disappointed to say the least, so much so I considered not attending. I had no intentions of bringing my child in the first place, but on principle I find it rude for someone to do so. Think of them as inconsiderate of my life. Someone else said I should go and that when this friend had children she would understand. When she does, I hope someone excludes her children from an affair. Maybe she won't care, but I imagine that as a mother, she'll have an entirely different perspective.
With that said, I'm am just as distrubed by whining unruly children as the next person, but I wouldn't invite anyone to my wedding who lacks the decorum to leave the sanctuary or not enter it at all with an unhappy child.
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